I Need A Vacation From My Vacation!
So how many of you said to yourself when you read that title, “He’s got kids”.
Lol - you’ve got kids too, eh?
For those of you without children, read that title again when you do - you’ll get it.
I just spent a wonderful 6 days in Wisconsin at a log cabin at a campground where my in-laws also have a permanent spot. We all had a blast - lots of swimming, golf cart rides (that’s how you get around a campground if you’re cool), 4th of July fireworks, hot dogs and cheeseburgers on the open fire pits, a boat ride - it was great. About 3 days in I forgot what I did for a living.
Here’s my main thought: what the hell has happened to our airlines in the past year? You know what’s not fun? Getting 3 children under the age of 7 on a plane. For those without children, here’s how it works:
Get the children up at 5 am - drive to airport - park in long term parking and get you, your 18 bags, a stroller, a binkey, and 3 children (and wife) onto a shuttle bus - get to terminal - get your 18 bags, a stroller, a binkey, and 3 children (and wife) out of the bus and into the 1/4 mile long line (approximate) to check in - drop off 15 bags at bag security - get in second 1/2 mile long line (exact) for security check - get all kids, wife, and self to take off their shoes, belts, laptops, wallets, watches, ipods, jewelery, backpacks, snacks, and binkey - walk through security - put back on all shoes, belts, laptops, wallets, watches, ipods, jewelery, backpacks, snacks, and binkey - get to gate - wait 45 minutes - get on overbooked plane with 0 empty seats - sit on runway for 30 minutes waiting to take off - get served no food at all, no pretzles, no peanuts, nuttin, for 2 hours - struggle with a 17 month old who decides it’s time to do an ancient Aztec screaming and dancing ritual on your lap for an hour straight - grin sheepishly at everyone around you and offer to buy them drinks while your 2 older children kick the back of their seats -land and sit on that runway for another 35 minutes (I am not making any of this up, people) because your arrival gate still has a plane sitting there and nobody at the airport is smart enough to tell the plane “take a left and park at THIS gate” - get off plane - walk to baggage - pick up 15 bags - carry all of that to tram - take tram to rental car area - get in a line 10 people deep that takes another 30 minutes - rent car - lug everything and everybody to car - load ‘er up - drive 2 hours to campground - collapse.
And that was just getting there. Then there was 6 days of in-laws, extended family, and 3 kids (and wife).
We got back last night at 11 pm. We drove home. I unloaded the kids and the wife got them all in bed while I unpacked the car. I collapsed on the couch and woke up at 7 am this morning to get all the kids ready for school. I took them to school - and drove right back home again.
Spent the day just sitting in my office in silence - glorious, unabated, goddamn silence.
NOW I’m ready to go back to work.