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I Need A Vacation From My Vacation!

Hi gang,

So how many of you said to yourself when you read that title, “He’s got kids”.

Lol – you’ve got kids too, eh?

For those of you without children,  read that title again when you do – you’ll get it.

I just spent a wonderful 6 days in Wisconsin at a log cabin at a campground where my in-laws also have a permanent spot.  We all had a blast – lots of swimming,  golf cart rides (that’s how you get around a campground if you’re cool), 4th of July fireworks,  hot dogs and cheeseburgers on the open fire pits, a boat ride – it was great.  About 3 days in I forgot what I did for a living.

Here’s my main thought:  what the hell has happened to our airlines in the past year?  You know what’s not fun?  Getting 3 children under the age of 7 on a plane.   For those without children, here’s how it works:

Get the children up at 5 am – drive to airport – park in long term parking and get you, your 18 bags, a stroller, a binkey, and 3 children (and wife) onto a shuttle bus – get to terminal – get your 18 bags, a stroller, a binkey, and 3 children (and wife) out of the bus and into the 1/4 mile long line (approximate) to check in – drop off 15 bags at bag security – get in second 1/2 mile long line (exact) for security check - get all kids, wife, and self to take off their shoes, belts, laptops, wallets, watches, ipods, jewelery, backpacks, snacks, and binkey – walk through security – put back on all shoes, belts, laptops, wallets, watches, ipods, jewelery, backpacks, snacks, and binkey – get to gate – wait 45 minutes – get on overbooked plane with 0 empty seats – sit on runway for 30 minutes waiting to take off – get served no food at all, no pretzles, no peanuts, nuttin, for 2 hours – struggle with a 17 month old who decides it’s time to do an ancient Aztec screaming and dancing ritual on your lap for an hour straight – grin sheepishly at everyone around you and offer to buy them drinks while your 2 older children kick the back of their seats -land and sit on that runway for another 35 minutes (I am not making any of this up, people) because your arrival gate still has a plane sitting there and nobody at the airport is smart enough to tell the plane “take a left and park at THIS gate” – get off plane – walk to baggage – pick up 15 bags – carry all of that to tram – take tram to rental car area – get in a line 10 people deep that takes another 30 minutes – rent car – lug everything and everybody to car – load ‘er up – drive 2 hours to campground -  collapse.

And that was just getting there.  Then there was 6 days of in-laws, extended family, and 3 kids (and wife).

We got back last night at 11 pm.  We drove home.  I unloaded the kids and the wife got them all in bed while I unpacked the car.  I collapsed on the couch and woke up at 7 am this morning to get all the kids ready for school.  I took them to school – and drove right back home again. 

Spent the day just sitting in my office in silence – glorious, unabated, goddamn silence.

NOW I’m ready to go back to work.


About the Author: Kevin Harmon

Kevin Harmon is a freelance e-commerce business consultant and blogger. He is the former CEO of Inflatable Madness, LLC, one of the largest DVD and CD sellers on eBay and Amazon, and Red Shorts Media, LLC, which operated multiple e-commerce media buyback websites.

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