Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

Feedback appreciated.  Thanks.  The full launch, once the e-books are on there is schedueled for next month.

There is a typo on the Beauty Catalog. It should say "you" not "ou"...at least that is my assumption.
I also think it would benefit you to have pictures of the products in the catalog as opposed to models. 

Is this a site for selling direct to consumers?  I don`t really understand it.  Why, you ask?  It`s not very consumer-friendly.  What do I mean?  The copywriting does nothing to spell out any benefit to the customer.  In fact, you even mention some negatives like "it may take longer to fill out your order."

What you need is some good copywriting.  As it stands, the site has no approach to making sales.  It just says, "here`s a product."

If writing isn`t one of your stronger suits, then find a copywriter to work with.  I think that`s the first thing you need to work on.  Otherwise, tweaking images, navigation and other technicalities will barely make a difference.

Thank You.  When I say paraben free, EDTA free, if I explain that they are carcinegins, and toxic, and that we only use natural preservatives ect... wouldn`t that be an explanation?  If I say the products are not heavy or greasy and leave your skin feeling silky smooth, wouldn`t that cover it? Would I need to explain in detail the benefits of each ingredients?  I don`t want to get too technical with customers.  I only will product the products when they order, so no photos until I get orders.  Same with the e-books, I wont be putting any images up until the end April, as that is when I will be able to purchase them.  I wont be promoting the site until mid-April anyway.  I can`t afford a copywriter at this stage.  I will have to try to expand the explanations myself.  Thank You

Well, I don`t necessarily mean explaining the technical benefits of ingredients or the chemical makeup of the products.  I`m talking about the purchasing benefit to the customer.  Why would someone buy a beauty product in the first place?  To make them feel good about or improve how they look, right?  This is an emotional purchase decision.  Even the eco-friendly aspect of it is emotional for those who care about the planet.

But your copy talks about who owns the company.  It mentions parabens and EDTA which I would imagine that most people never heard of.  In fact, I bet there are chemicals in the products which have scarier sounding names.  These are abstract concepts which confuse consumers.

There are other confusing things like the 500 quantity.  In some cases it sounds like one has to purchase 500 of a product.

And you are very repetitive, especially in talking about things like the non-greasy aspect of the products.  It sounds like you`re running out of things to say only after a few sentences.

You barely touch on the emotional benefits of beauty products.  Why do you buy beauty products?  (Assuming you do.)

Plus you have typographical errors and format issues throughout.  If you cannot afford a copywriter, then I suggest doing a lot of reading about compelling copy before you go any further.  But if you ask me, a copywriter will be an investment well spent.  I don`t mean to sound harsh but you need it.

I have gone back to start making some changes. In terms of the benefits the all natural, 100% and the consistency are my main selling points.  Those are the two I want to focus on.  I have to figure out how to do that without sounding repetative.  I might be able to afford about $200 for a writer in a few weeks.