Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

I have redone my site several times but is something missing? I linked pictures to larger pictures and details but should I put more written descriptions in? Do you prefer the linked pictures (christmas stockings) or all pictures on one page (sachets). Are the pictures clear enough? Does the first page grab you? Any suggestions would be very appreciated. Thanks you, Nanci "daisylane"

www.daisylanedesigns.net

your posted URL takes me to Wikipedia.

Now try it. thank you for trying!

Nanci

Here`s the link:  http://daisylanedesigns.net/default.aspx

I think this would benefit from a professional layout artist. The main page is too scattered, with too much white space, and not enough explanation of why this business exists.

I take away from it that it`s a place that sells handmade clothing or cloth items from used material. That, in itself, isn`t a great impression. I start having images of old undershirts and jeans being recycled into something else.

Copywriting would overcome that impression by putting a better spin on the overall concept. So...here`s the main question:

What is your mission statement for this business? What inspiration did you have one day, where you suddenly sat up and said, "WOAH!!! Have I got an idea!"

:-D

Good points, Craig.  While it`s obviously an online store, it lacks personality.  Your designs must have a good story behind them - share the story.  

It`s like driving up to a well land-scaped home vs. a home with some sod and a few cheap small plants.  While both are houses, one is going to catch the attention of prospective buyers more often than the other. 

Give your site some "curb appeal".

HTH!

~Kim

I think that this part ....

Comfortable recycled products from a gentler time. Specializing in circe`s*, fuddy,* and goodies as well as presents, remembrances,* and gifts.

.... looks crowded where it is, and makes the top of the page look "left heavy". Maybe move down, or align it to the right to balance things out.

There are 2 search boxes in the top half of the page. Why? It makes me think right away that I won`t find what I want right away.

The green Home box doesn`t blend in well. What does the flower symbolize? It looks out of place for the theme of your site. I would rather see more samples of what it is you offer. More straight forward information of what your site is about at the top.

And in Firefox, the text along the right side of the page seems to disappear, so you can`t see all of it.


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M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons

Thank you for your help and here are some more questions.

Craig - How did you get I was making clothing items out of jeans and t-Shirts? Where is that impression coming from so I can correct it?

I can`t afford a layout artist yet so I have been studying everything I can. Everything I read says the from page should be clean and uncluttered with info above the "fold". this is why I haveit this way. I put the hyperlinked pictures up to give an idea of what I offer and to give another way to get to the pages. Should I remove them?

What do you mean by copywriting - do you mean the name? or the ideas?

My design story is on the about us page. Should this be on the front page instead?

I can`t control the green home page color. This is a WYSIWYG and the page you are on turns green in the sidebar.

I put pictures and info in tables to work on foxfire - any idea what I did wrong on that?

I use the daisy because it is named daisy lane designs. I had the cat from the animals page at first but got advice to change it. Do you think that would be better. or maybe a daisy from on of the linens?

I appreciate any ideas you have. Nanci

Copywriting isn`t the same as "copyright" law. Here`s an excellent introductory article by CookieMonster, who`s no longer with the community.

I can`t tell you how exactly I got the impression I got. But the "overall" impression is what you, the writer, create in the reader`s mind. It`s not a specific word, or paragraph. It`s the way all the words flow into an interpretation. It`s what makes for good or bad writing.

I understand that you`re in the same boat as most of us, having little or no money, and having to do everything on your own. But you must know someone who seems to write a lot? Maybe a poet? If not, ask everyone you know to think of someone they may know who`s a writer and can help you with your content---the words you put into your Web site.

The concept of making these items is very good, and I think you can sell your products. But you have to *sell* them...not just put them somewhere for people to buy. People need some help to get convinced they should spend money. Particularly on a Web site, where they aren`t right there, feeling the product with their fingers. See?
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I went back and looked more closely at your site. Here`s your main problem: the expression "well-loved." Then you tie it, by proximity, to "grandmother." The overall result is "used shirts and junk, put back together."

What I`d suggest is that you start working with terms like "antique," or "historic" fabric. When I read "well-loved," I interpret it to mean "worn out."

The underlying concept I`m seeing, when I stop and analyze the site, is that there are some beautiful pieces of fabric around, where the original item is beyond salvage, but parts of the item are in excellent condition. Rather than throw out the whole original, historic item, you`re taking those parts that remain beautiful, and creating something new.

To get that concept across is going to require some clever copywriting. You want to steer people away from "used, broken, torn, falling apart, motheaten, junk," and move them toward "luxurious, beautiful, old-fashioned quality materials."

Another way to accomplish this would be to cut the written text to a minimum, and instead use photographs in a "gallery" to show some of your best pieces. Describe what they are, and how you took the "parts" from a beautiful early American quilt, or a bedspread you found at an auction (not a garage sale).

Don`t focus on how old it is. Focus instead on the quality of antique elegance. Then bring out the craft brilliance and ingenuity of saving "at least some of these treasures" by using them to create new memorable items. That Christmas stocking is an excellent example.

Thank you, I never thought of it that way.