In my business planning and efforts I run into this thing all the time. I don`t know if it has a name, but I`m calling it the American poverty paradigm.
Today I was discussing my business planning with someone close to me, who`s known me essentially forever, and I was explaining that I need $17,000 in seed funding so I can get my web infrastructure and such built before launch. And his immediate response was that he will never have that kind of money, but he knows this girl who`s now up to $10 per hour temping over in Lewistown, why don`t I give that a shot?
I was dumbfounded. He was suggesting that I give up on this dream I`ve been nurturing for years and years, the opportunity to do some real good in the world as well as make some real money, to use my skill set and greymatter to their fullest potentials.... in favor of $10 per hour temp work. How does one even respond to that??
Underlying his statement was the fundamental assumption that starting a business, especially one of hte magnitude I`m planning, is simply an impossibility that I shouldn`t even consider. And he`s not the only one... many people in my life have this mindset that money is somehow "not allowed" except to people who are special, "above" everyone else, separated from humanity as superior beings or something. Often the first response I get when talking about my business is "You can`t do that" because, you know, clearly I`m not special enough.
I`m so sick of it. It`s not even discouraging anymore... it`s infuriating.
Okay done venting now.
—paula
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Paula, keep you head aimed at the mountains, do not let anyone take you from your course.
your story sparks memories from the early 80`s when I announced to my family and friends (probably why it`s only 5 now) I was GOING to build a house. My wife threatened divorce (would have save me mid 6 figures, which she got at the divorce a few houses later) my friends just stopped talking to me, my own father tried to tell me it was illegal to build your own house.
guess what, I did it that time and a bunch more times.
Many still shun me I guess because they are still living paycheck to paycheck.
I think it`s about "misery loves company", the problem with me is I hate misery!!
Keep focused and avoid out and out jealousy.
"just do it". "git r dun", whatever it takes stay on track.
my 2 cent
Stan
Thank you Stan, I really appreciate that. I hate misery too I can`t understand why people are so attached to it.
And kudos on building your own house! That`s a very cool thing to do, what an enormous sense of accomplishment that would be.
—paula
And kudos on building your own house! That`s a very cool thing to do, what an enormous sense of accomplishment that would be.
—paula
Don`t let this get you down - it`s a common reaction from those who have no real dreams and want to thrust their dreamless state upon others.
Stay away from people like this.
Stay away from people like this.
Paula,
I was working for a sign company making $10 an hour. I quit and jumped into our engraving business so that I could be a stay at home dad. We are struggling and things are just now starting to take an upward turn. I had alot of people (especially inlaws-no offense to inlaws) who basically gave me the third degree riot act on what I was doing. Their attitude is that I am stupid for doing it. I need to be in a steady J.O.B. to get a steady paycheck, an IRA and a career so that my daughter can brag about her dad. If you haven`t yet, read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiosaki (may have mutilated his last name here-sorry). Anyway, you see in this book that there are alot of people with paycheck mentalities that look at us as if we are freaks for wanting to do what we do. There are actually some out there looking for us to fall on our faces just for the oportunity to say "I told you so" and it`s these people that you need to stay away from. Like in my case with family members, its hard to just stay way, but you can get yourself into an accountability mindset where you constantly are aware of who you listen to and who you blow off. You don`t take financial advice, criticism, or business leads from someone who is homeless and living out of a trashbag, you don`t take relationship advice from someone who has had nothing but hardship in relationships, so don`t take critiques, advice, or crap from anyone who is obviously in a paycheck/ ratrace mentality. Always take note of who you are talking to and ask yourself if this is someone who will support you or not. Any advice or suggestions from anyone that is counter productive to your life plan is someone not worth worrying over. Only listen to people who are where you want to be or are in the process of getting to where you want to be because they understand what you are going through and can actually give you productive help, advice, understanding, etc.
Thanks Engraver! I LOVE Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I have it on audiobook and sometimes queue it up to play while I`m working. It`s been a while since I listened to it, perhaps I`ll break it out tomorrow. That should be a good antidote.
—paula
—paula
Funny; we were just talking about exactly the same thing tonight! It
was about attitude and perception, and how such a fragile and ephemeral
thing can fundamentally change the world.
If you perceive yourself as some dope sitting in a room in the middle of Anywhere, USA, then you`re just a faceless nothing. And who makes money being a nothing?
But if you see yourself as being equal to anyone else, then you`re the same as the President, or the Prince of England.
I think this poverty attitude stems for a complete lack of belief in equality. Lots of people have never had to fight for that equality, if you think about it. Instead, they`ve pretty much grown up with it being an automatic assumption.
But then think about the Civil Rights movement, and how black people knew damn well about not being equal. The result is that black folks coming up through the 60s don`t at all take equality for granted. They can go one of two ways; either give up and assume they`ll always be "repressed," or they can see the great opportunities to do whatever they want.
Women had/have the same problem, and with the Women`s Movement, we have a whole lot of women entrepreneurs. Also, in my opinion, because of a more immediate sense of equality. Women look out at the world, hear they`re not equal, and get mad. Then they do something about it.
Think how astonishing it is that you can compete with the whole world from a chair in front of a computer! 50 years ago, if you wanted international exposure and global markets you had to somehow get your product to a very large distributor. Today you can do it yourself through the Internet.
But you can only do any of this marvelous stuff IF you see yourself as equal to all the movers and shakers of history. The poverty mentality comes from believing in "Us" and "Them," and an insurmountable chasm between "those who have," and "those who have not." It`s all in one`s perception of themselves.
If you perceive yourself as some dope sitting in a room in the middle of Anywhere, USA, then you`re just a faceless nothing. And who makes money being a nothing?
But if you see yourself as being equal to anyone else, then you`re the same as the President, or the Prince of England.
I think this poverty attitude stems for a complete lack of belief in equality. Lots of people have never had to fight for that equality, if you think about it. Instead, they`ve pretty much grown up with it being an automatic assumption.
But then think about the Civil Rights movement, and how black people knew damn well about not being equal. The result is that black folks coming up through the 60s don`t at all take equality for granted. They can go one of two ways; either give up and assume they`ll always be "repressed," or they can see the great opportunities to do whatever they want.
Women had/have the same problem, and with the Women`s Movement, we have a whole lot of women entrepreneurs. Also, in my opinion, because of a more immediate sense of equality. Women look out at the world, hear they`re not equal, and get mad. Then they do something about it.
Think how astonishing it is that you can compete with the whole world from a chair in front of a computer! 50 years ago, if you wanted international exposure and global markets you had to somehow get your product to a very large distributor. Today you can do it yourself through the Internet.
But you can only do any of this marvelous stuff IF you see yourself as equal to all the movers and shakers of history. The poverty mentality comes from believing in "Us" and "Them," and an insurmountable chasm between "those who have," and "those who have not." It`s all in one`s perception of themselves.
Craig — that is a very keen observation. I hadn`t thought of matching those 2 things up before but you`re absolutely right, and it makes a lot of things make sense.
My whole family comes from coal-fired Pocono Mountains poverty. They are probably still toiling under the "company town" mentality of the industrial revolution, having never had cause to think of life in any other way down through the generations.
I also used to think that way because I was raised with it, but at some point I adopted the motto that no one is "above" me as long as he still has to wipe his ass every day. (And if he hires other people to wipe his ass for him, that`s just pathetic.) Having money and/or fame isn`t an indicator of "aboveness," it just means the person has accomplished something.
I thought the recent immigrant podcast was great. These stories of people coming here and creating success for themselves is totally inspiring — then I consider the towns where my extended family lives in eastern PA, and there is such poverty there and misery, and I can`t understand it at all. Being born and raised in eastern PA surely gives one a leg up the success ladder over being born in Belarus or whatever, and yet these folks never even try. I mean, holy cow... they could pick wildflowers in the woods and sell them at the rest stops along 80.... those New Yorkers passing through would snap up mountain wildflowers in a second flat, and would pay outrageous money for them too.
But anyway. Maybe I really do just need to get out of this town.
—paula
My whole family comes from coal-fired Pocono Mountains poverty. They are probably still toiling under the "company town" mentality of the industrial revolution, having never had cause to think of life in any other way down through the generations.
I also used to think that way because I was raised with it, but at some point I adopted the motto that no one is "above" me as long as he still has to wipe his ass every day. (And if he hires other people to wipe his ass for him, that`s just pathetic.) Having money and/or fame isn`t an indicator of "aboveness," it just means the person has accomplished something.
I thought the recent immigrant podcast was great. These stories of people coming here and creating success for themselves is totally inspiring — then I consider the towns where my extended family lives in eastern PA, and there is such poverty there and misery, and I can`t understand it at all. Being born and raised in eastern PA surely gives one a leg up the success ladder over being born in Belarus or whatever, and yet these folks never even try. I mean, holy cow... they could pick wildflowers in the woods and sell them at the rest stops along 80.... those New Yorkers passing through would snap up mountain wildflowers in a second flat, and would pay outrageous money for them too.
But anyway. Maybe I really do just need to get out of this town.
—paula
Paula,
I can totally understand how you are feeling. i left a great paying job in 2002 to follow my dreams. Yes, it has been difficult at times but it is what I decided to do and I do not need anyone to tell me how to live my life. I also lived in the Poconos during my teenage years until I was 23. Great place to visit but there certainly is a humdrum follow the rules mentality there. My close friend lives there and she never talks about what i do because she thinks I am crazy for putting everything i have into it...she will never understand, so we don`t talk about it. It would be nice to hear her say "how`s business?" or my husband`s family to ask but they just stay silent because they don`t agree or understand what i do. It is weird. i always am interested in the people I care about...ask them how are they, business, work, kids etc...but no one really asks me, except my husband of course and business friends I have here in Va and NY. You know, the day to day struggle we go through just to keep pushing toward our business goals and how hard it can be sometimes, it would be great to have someone ask about what we are doing..then we would feel a little supported. As soon as I mention to one of teh above folks that i am stressed or running low, they are so quick to jump on me getting a "real job"...so i know what they must be saying behind my back. They have an opinion and instead of agreeing to disagree on the way someone should live their life and atleast support you in what you are doing..theyare just silent..and that can hurt. As soon as I bring up what i may be up to, to them..they either get a funny look on there face or just change the subject...that hurts. I know though what would hurt more...if I lived and regreted not living out my passion. I work hard all day and all night..I have sacrificed everything but the kitchen sink to get my company running so whatever someone else has to say, is just that...an opinion. They are them and I am me. When something is tugging at your heart to do in life, I believe you should do it..that with careful planning it can be made into a viable business. Keep up what you are doing and just have a plan B..not quit and get a regular job..but a plan to keep you going. I think alot of folks feel similar when running a business. It can be a Very lonely place. That is why i like coming here...the support is real and everyone understands and does not judge.
Erin
-------------------------
Our Goal Is Your Success!
Founder Girls with Goals
Erin, wow, that is exactly what I deal with too. Precisely! It`s the "Pocono Pooh-Pooh" ha 
You`re totally right about the regret being far worse... All my life I`ve been trying to play by the rules everyone else has laid down for me and I can`t do it anymore. I`m just f`ing done. I regret having lost all this time and if I don`t at least try to actualize my vision I might as well lay down and die. It`s not even about profit motive at that point, it`s about using my god-given talents responsibly and living up to my potential.
Where in the Poconos were you? My family are all from the "slate belt." I never lived there but grew up about 3 hrs away and spent much time in the area growing up.
—paula
You`re totally right about the regret being far worse... All my life I`ve been trying to play by the rules everyone else has laid down for me and I can`t do it anymore. I`m just f`ing done. I regret having lost all this time and if I don`t at least try to actualize my vision I might as well lay down and die. It`s not even about profit motive at that point, it`s about using my god-given talents responsibly and living up to my potential.
Where in the Poconos were you? My family are all from the "slate belt." I never lived there but grew up about 3 hrs away and spent much time in the area growing up.
—paula
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