press release critique, hit me with it.

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press release critique, hit me with it.

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Marcia25

posts: 22

Jan 30, 2008 11:08 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

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I may be too late with this, but regarding the first press release, you should spell out percent instead of using %, according to AP (Associated Press) style guide. I wrote too many business stories where that mattered and its one way to tell an amateur from a media person. When in doubth check the AP style guide which you can access from the Internet.

Marcia Ming

Casalbordino

posts: 7

Jan 30, 2008 1:15 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Dale,

Thank you for your immediate response. I would hire you to copyright, if I could get some traffic to my site.

DaleKing

posts: 1061

Jan 30, 2008 1:56 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Elisa, did you like the new headline I wrote for your press release? You didn`t acknowledge it, one way or the other.

Dale King

-------------------------

If you`re tired of all the money-making
hype, lies and scams...read this!
Click here for more details!

Casalbordino

posts: 7

Jan 30, 2008 2:54 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Sorry for not acknowledging the new headline. Honestly, I did not think it was "catchy" enough.

DaleKing

posts: 1061

Jan 30, 2008 3:31 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Sorry for not acknowledging the new headline. Honestly, I did not think it was "catchy" enough.

You`re welcome!

Dale King

-------------------------

If you`re tired of all the money-making
hype, lies and scams...read this!
Click here for more details!

DaphneN

posts: 2

Feb 03, 2008 8:34 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Dale:

I thought your headline was fantastic!

Regards,

Daphne

http://www.businessangelpress.com

DaleKing

posts: 1061

Feb 05, 2008 8:04 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Dale:

I thought your headline was fantastic!

Thank you very much, Daphne! I appreciate your kind words. I may be a little biased here, but I agree with you. I also thought it was a fantastic headline. But this experience has taught me a valuable lesson. I will no longer waste my time and talent doing critiques for FREE. That includes websites, press releases or anything else, because it`s usually not appreciated.

Dale King

-------------------------

If you`re tired of all the money-making
hype, lies and scams...read this!
Click here for more details!

Casalbordino

posts: 7

Feb 05, 2008 1:26 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

Points: 0 Vote

Hi Dale,

This is Elisa, the lady with the press release. Of course, I appreciated your headline. Let me explain - Firstly I did not send you the complete press release. Secondly, it`s not a new "invention". Mine is just different and more useable that the ones (paper, tins, etc.) offered by Hallmark and others on line.

The first two lines should have been:

Presentation is Everything in Gift Giving – Gift Cards are No Exception

Gift cards are replacing “real gifts” in many situations. Handmade packaging is key to their personalization .

Please comment. Thanks

SallyC

posts: 8

Feb 06, 2008 10:38 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Great job Dale! Your approach definately works.

Sally C.

DaleKing

posts: 1061

Feb 06, 2008 12:06 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Great job Dale! Your approach definately works.

Thank you very much, Sally. I appreciate your kind words.

Dale King

-------------------------

If you`re tired of all the money-making
hype, lies and scams...read this!
Click here for more details!

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press release critique, hit me with it.

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