It would help if you put the site address in your original post:
Your right, it needs help.
The home page is pretty explanatory, but too long. Maybe take the bottom half to another page - "What I did with my extra money"? Or as a teaser: "Have you ridden a camel today?"
Stop using "$" for "S". It`s the trademark of a get-rich-quick scheme and useless for search engines. Nobody does a Google search for "ca$h". Speaking of search engines, put more into your page titlees. That is the site "description" that Google puts on the results page.
Be wary of using get-rich-quick terms like "Make Big Money" and "Lifestyle you`ve always dreamed of". Be more creative to separate yourself from the other "get rich" websites. Your copy tells me very little that is any different from the hundreds of other "make money on eBay" sites. If you aren`t like them, then get out of that box.
The text on the "Free" page is all passive - "have, will, were" are all passive text. "If I can do it, so can you" is OK because "so can you" is positive. Think: tell, don`t ask. Educate, don`t equivocate. "You will" is more active than "you can". See the difference? (You`re an English teacher? Sorry, couldn`t resist the irony).
Your "About Me" page is pretty good, but move the text up to fill the space around the top photo. Hey, English teacher - check your grammar: "Have You Rode Your Camel Today?" (I`m not being mean, but if you tout your job as an english teacher, then your text in the website should be perfect.)
Your "FAQ" page contains one technical error. The law on this is not yet clear, but generally it is not any more illegal to sell an eBook than a physical book as long as only one copy of it exists. Your tone here is also an insult because it assumes that your customers are thieves before the fact. You are also making hollow threats, including one that you cannot enforce.
Videography9/23/2008 12:31 PM
MannMade Digital Video