Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

OK SUN,

i`ve been working on a website for quite a while and have had you help me with a few ideas in the past.  So, I`m coming to you once again with two sites I need critiqued.  thanks so much!!

http://op247.com/GO/OP/OP-Main.asp?SessionID=437427089&A ction=Home

http://www.continentalprintingsupplies.com

Please look them over and let me know how they rate and what i can do to improve.

thanks again!!

-------------------------

But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrew 11:6

I`m wondering if the first site is a joke? "Cannot continue?" If it`s not, then I have no clue what it`s about, and blew it off.

As for the Printing site, that was readable. The problem is it made no sense. I got the idea about thanks for visiting, but it went on and on and on. Then I read about my desk possibly having germs? Say what?!

I think I`d go back to the drawing board and either hire a content writer, or give some thought to what exactly it is you`re trying to sell. I`d also develop a logo and use that instead of the picture of the sky. The logo should be on all pages, up near the top left, so people can always return to your home page.

I clicked "Products" and got this:

This is utter bovine feces, and from there, I just walked away. I ordinarily don`t get all that harsh in a critique, but given the first URL was total garbage, I have to wonder now if this is a legitimate post or some sort of spamming thing? I`m willing to assume on good faith that it`s a legitimate request for critique, but there`s an awful lot of work needs to be done here.

Ditto that..!

Why does the site even exist?? I had to work hard – way too hard –  to find out what was going on. And when I [kind of] figured it out, I was irked that I`d invested the time.

There`s no reason to keep that site up. Just buy a different one, any one, and yes, get a writer!


-------------------------

:: Good Design is Good Business ::

   bruce colthart creative llc

mister blubs.
to which site are you referring?

in faith i copied the first website URL from the site i am looking at using for my `shopping cart`.  i was unaware that it would `time-out`.  my apologies.  here is the correct URL.

http://op247.com/GO/OP/OP-Demo2.asp

this is a `demo site` and you do not need to enter an e-mail address, just click continue and accept terms and then on the next page, just click finish.  these are the steps i was trying to bypass.  sorry it didn`t work.

CraigL as far as germs on your desk, every underlined item you read was a click thru to the scientific data that proves my statements as true.  you state that the wording about thanks for visiting made no sense and just went on and on, and on.  but you do not say how to simplify.  i`m am legit in asking for your help.  each underlined item in my second site is meant to be a click on to take you from page to page throughout the site and even further, such as the scientific data i mentioned.  on the products page you will see that there is also a click thru to take you to another site to view the products i carry.

you have told me what is wrong and to hire a writer, but you do not tell me what else you feel can be corrected.

thanks for your input, i await more.

thanks again.

-------------------------

But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrew 11:6

I was referring to the second site. New link behaves the same as before.

It`s very difficult to quickly get a feel for the heirarchy of information. It looks more like a Microsoft Word document, but with the added distraction of unattractive decoration – tacky images and ugly green background.

If you`re going to spend nothing on your site, then at least make it tolerable. Make it look like a letter... Have you looked at any other sites on the internet, not to mention ones related to your field?

I don`t think anyone can afford to teach you about communication and layout basics in a forum – you`ve got to try again.


-------------------------

:: Good Design is Good Business ::

   bruce colthart creative llc

Get down and dirty advice. This is not a time for asking for "nice" critque. It`s better to not show a site till you get it right, vs. awful. In the past, I`ve given my opinions only to be slammed because of hurt feelings and bruised egos. From a use of language point of view, do you see the repetitive nonsense? But hey. I will just say some things here and promise to click the site reply button to say more. Remember there is artistic opinion and there is professional opinion, only you can prevent forest fires. Your background could be a desktop publishing paper background. I suggest the scroll look of Constitution. This will allow thumbnail pix of products on each side. In the left corner where you have nature, trade it out for a cool 3-way fax/scanner/copier offer. And the wording man! As one example, Welcome to Continental! after the heading of continentalprintingsupplies.com, will suffice. don`t forget the .com on the end, so people will remember your site address. Anything more here about redundant nonsense and unecessary wording and I`ll be labled. I promise to give more feedback at the site if you`ll promise to really think about every offer of the critics who collectively say it`s time for a rewrite.   

thank you.  i will have to get a different URL for the first site.  i will also take a closer look at the redundancy of the wording on the second site, as well as the overall appearance.

please continue bashing my site and let me know of ways it can be improved.  i hope to be able to show this site off to the general public in about 3-4 weeks and could really use some more advice.

frndchps
thank you for taking the time to get back to me via my website.  that is exactly why this information is requested, and exactly why the comment form is included in the website.  i really appreciate all the time you took to show me what the others have stated. two thumbs up!!

-------------------------

But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrew 11:6

Alright, I`m willing to accept this post is all in good faith. The second link you sent, also apparently timed out because it showed nothing.

If your topic points, such as the germs on the desk, are click-throughs to underlying content, then they should stand out as links. Instead of "YES" being the link, it should be the entire question itself. They don`t, and instead look like just the same text as the main content. Without an indicator that these are links, I didn`t even know I could click them.

Reading both the site and your posting here, I get the impression that English isn`t your first language? If that`s true, you`re doing a good job with the current skill, and should be commended. However; when you`re putting up a site for the wole world to read, it`s just not good enough.

There`s the technical skill of any language, which includes spelling and grammar. However, what makes a site "interesting" to read is much more the idiomatic use of a language---the informal, casual way people speak in their home.

For example: Technically it`s correct to say, "Hello, how are you today? Would you enjoy visiting with me?" But that`s not how people actually talk in America.

Instead, you would hear, "Hey...what`s happenin`? Wanna come over for a beer?" See?

Here`s your current first paragraph:

You have several problems. The first is that all-capitalization almost always represents shouting, when used in text. HTML coding provides for headings and different typefaces, fonts, and weights. Instead of trying to "shout" your welcome message, it should be done in standard layout form.

Secondly, you`re repeating the same thought. Welcome, thank you, welcome, we love you, thank you, you`re wonderful, thank you, hi, how are you, welcome, thanks for stopping by, how cool that you`re here, welcome to the site, thanks for coming, welcome, can`t wait to talk with you.

See?

It makes you sound like a puppy dog who hasn`t seen their owner all day, and runs around wagging its tail, jumping up and down. Not professional. Instead, it could be something like:


Although you are a printing supply company, you must have 1 product that`s your main "bread and butter" product. You then have 2 additional products that people buy repeatedly. Those should go on the home page. Nobody`s interested in germs on the desk, scientific data, and whatever other odd trivia. This is a printing supply shop, not a biology site.

When you say "after you`re here, go someplace else to find out why you`re here," you come across as annoying. Remember, your site was found by Google, there would have been a 1-line description of the fact you sell printing supplies, and someone already clicked once to get there.

Now, having clicked, they`re being told "hah-hah...I fooled you! You thought you`d find out someting? Well, fuggeddaboudditt! Now you have to go on a treasure hunt to find out my secret!" See? Who wants to do that? Rather, they`ll just click off the site and never visit again.

craig,

thanks once again.  this time things were a bit more clear as to what you were getting at.  i do try to be grammatically correct in order to be more professional and not so much the way society is today.  i do plan on implementing the ideas you have given along with the specifics that Frndchps has mentioned.

in trying to let the customer know that they are valuable to me, i guess i have gone a bit overboard.  this i will fix.  i had been using this as a teaching tool for my 10 yo.  he picked out the background.  but i alone am responsible for the redundant language.

i want to really push the site in a few weeks, as i am going to be adding the online ordering.  (which is the first link that i cannot get to work without some major assistance from the shopping cart company, so i`ll worry about that after we have more time to get down to the nitty gritty.)

in the mean time i have asked for, and will continue to seek, the advise of the SUN community.  i have seen several sites and have a love-hate relationship with what i have seen.  i have asked several web designers for their help and have gotten nowhere.  so, seeing that i know my financial limits, i am trying to keep my expenses to a minimum, my son and i came up with what you see.

thanks once again

-------------------------

But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrew 11:6

Have you considered using Nvu? It`s free, and gives you a very powerful WYSIWYG Web design/editing tool. There`s also an excellent online set of instructions, like a tutorial, that walks you through how to use the program.