Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

This is the second draft of the soon to be launched "bait" website.

Can I get some feedback on it good or bad, criticism is OK too. Don`t worry you won`t hurt my feelings.

To read it, go to www.justMEworld.com

As you can tell the rest of the site doesn`t work because it has been built yet.

Thanks,

Hi justMEworld. I have a couple of comments.
1.  There are typographical errors on your home page, including incorrect word usage and misspellings ("patent" not "patend"), as well as some unusual sentence structure problems.  One of my businesses is a writing service (www.uswords.com), and I would be happy to fix these problems for you at no charge as a way of introducing my service.
2.  Too many words!  Your home page needs to communicate what you do in as few words as possible.  Most people will hit a web page like that and won`t bother reading past the first paragraph.  Is there any way you can use graphics to succinctly explain your model?  Based on reading your home page, you may not be ready to fully explain what you`re doing, but when you get to that point, I suggest relying on fewer words and graphics, if possible.

Best Regards,
Mark

I think the visual aspect is an initial problem. Lots of words, but little line spacing (white space). If possible, break your message apart and focus on each specific component as a specific page.

What a lot of people forget is that hyperlinking information is quite different from paper and ink. You can put small bits of information on a page, then use links to allow readers to drill down into that information.

Otherwise, there`s just too much to read and it looks too compressed. Nobody wants to take that kind of time for something they don`t understand.

So right away, I`d suggest only two or maybe three paragraphs that quickly state the purpose of the site. That`s all. Then offer links to expand on each point of that purpose.

I know there are too many words, because this isn`t the `actual` home page of justMEworld.com

This is the website that gets freelancers wanting to build the real website so I need to explain in words that needs to be done.

The actual homepage will use graphics to explain what we want to do.