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Succeeding in Business and in Matrimony

    • 97 posts
    November 8, 2006 7:02 PM EST
    Wow, the community is giving some really good advice here.

    I`ve discovered that there are only two qualities that are aboslutely essential for any marriage to survive anything:
    1. Communication
    2. Patience
    There`s nothing more to it. You need to be able to communicate to her that you`re an entrepreneurial maniac and she needs to be patient.

    No seriously, though, that`s it. Communication and patience.

    ---
    Get Your Name in ".com" at the International Internet Authority

    • 2 posts
    November 8, 2006 9:55 AM EST

    Rich - Congratulations!

    Advice.....hmmmmm! Well, here goes.

    • You need to start with a good BM!  
    • And.....the BM needs to be solid......to come thru when you need the BM......basically a Super Bowl performer!
    • Also, the BM can not steal the show.....but is merely a function of the big day!
    • BMs can unexpectantly surprise you....but hopefully in a helpful kinda way.

    In short.....don`t rely on the BM as a long term solution for a great marriage but rather a nice healthy start. Then.....it is a good idea to regularly check on your BM......you don`t want your BM to just drop in on you all the time.

    Sincerely,

    DJA

    And for those of you who missed the thread.....I was Joel`s BM...that is Best Man at his and Suzanne`s wedding!! (Actually...Joel had two BMs...me another....leave it to Joel to outdo most Grooms.)

    You Go Rich!!

     

     

    • 2 posts
    November 8, 2006 10:31 AM EST

    I am the hysterical one! Let me explain.

    Minister #1 says "You may now kiss the bride"      Pause.......nothing happens.......and he says rather forcefully, under his breath "KISSSSS HERRRR!" Joel -"oh!" .....and does.....finally!

    I lost it!

    • 4 posts
    November 18, 2006 12:20 PM EST

    Dearest Rich and Allison,

    If you hear tap dancing streaming on this web page while you are reading this post, you are not going crazy…it’s me, dancing out of joy.  If you look closely, far off in the distance (near the Golden Gate Bridge) you will see the former producer of StartupNation, “Heather Happy Feet Can Do Cohen” (that’s me) doing the Happy Dance for Rich and Allison. 

     

    Advice: 

    * Sing like no one is listening… (“Start it up…Start it up…”)!

    * Dance like no one is watching; now you’ve got life long partner (no more dancing alone)! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77aXYhRm4rk

    * Love like you’ve never been hurt.

    * Enjoy every minute of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNyFojwMcuE

    * And if you’re stressed…invest in some bubble wrap:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5lG_MSOviQ

    *Live like it’s Startup heaven on Earth!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vjonk_M7rvk

    May your life together be SPECTACULAR!

    Sincerely,

    Heather

     

    Heather2006-11-18 18:23:34
    • 4 posts
    November 20, 2006 12:43 PM EST

    Rich,

    If you both truly love each other, you won`t really need any advice. You`ll know what to do naturally. You will both want to make each other happy and it will just end up being fine.

    Best wishes!
    Chris

    So eloquently stated. 

    As a follow-up...

    This above all:
    To thine own self be true,
    for it must follow as dost the night the day,
    that canst not then be false to any man.

    ~ William Shakespeare

    Heather2006-11-20 19:0:16
  • November 9, 2006 3:58 AM EST
    Well, a big MAZELTOV, Rich!

    My wife is also self-employed so we both live life from a creative orientation. But, no matter what we do as a profession, I have to say that in our four years of marriage, for me, it`s all been an exercise in humility.  My best friend`s grandfather, who died in his 90`s only days after his lifelong wife passed on, told us that the secret to a great marriage is ... that she is always right.   I can`t say that this advice has steered me wrong.

    ---
    Greg Baskin www.GoldMountainMining.com "A Motherlode of gifts ... at Old West prices!"

  • November 18, 2006 5:22 PM EST

    Rich,

    Married with five kids, rather happily - I can offer one little piece of advice that my husband and I try to live. 

    Marriage is a decision to SERVE the other person. 

    Congrats and blessings!

    ---
    Kindra Beauprey Director Liberty Bell Spirit Squad www.libertybells.net

    • 165 posts
    November 9, 2006 8:35 AM EST

    Rich....what great news!!! I am soooo excited for you! I have to admit...my last six years of marriage have been rocky...at best...but I will be completely honest in saying I wouldn`t change it for anything! One thing I have figured out is that respect and communication are key. Even if the communication starts with a fight or argument...always make sure you take a few minutes...breath...and come back with an open mind and a willingness to resolve or compromise on the issue before putting it to rest. You will only end up fighting about it again later if you don`t come up with something the first time.

    Also...make sure that you all have lives beyond each other. Friends that you can lean on in tough times. Pals that you can grab a drink with when you need a break. "Til death do us part" is a VERY long time...and you should always make sure that BOTH of you have your own space and your own time for yourselves.

    As for mixing it with your love for business! I would have to say that I hope she knows this about you before she accepted the ring!? Otherwise you may want to mention it before the wedding. It seems to me though...if she said yes...she is probably fully aware of your entrepreneurial desires. She is probably fully aware that this is part of who you are...and it may even be one of the reasons she loves you so much. My suggestion...sit down and talk to her about it. It is nice that you are seeking advice (and I am really glad you shared the news with all of us)...but I think this is something you should really discuss with her. Get her feelings, views, concerns out on the table. Let her know that you care enough to really take her feelings into consideration regarding your entrepreneurial ventures and desires. I am sure...if you open those lines of communication now...and keep them open...you will both be very content with each turn of the pages in your new life together!

    Many MANY warm wishes and happy thoughts!

    ---
    Leah Tucker

    • 165 posts
    November 9, 2006 9:51 AM EST

    SolidGrnd (Leah), you rock. i am taking all of this to heart and it`s all very sensible to me and gives me confidence that i`m doing this the right way.

    gracias!!! homage!!!!

    Aww...I am blushing...thanks for the kind words! I am so glad I could help! I think marriage is wonderful...a lot of work...but very rewarding...um..and educational! Best wishes to you in your future!

    When are you going to post pics of the lucky woman on your profile!?

    ---
    Leah Tucker

    • 165 posts
    November 9, 2006 11:17 AM EST
    Rich...she is beautiful...thanks for posting! You two look so happy in that picture...cold...but happy!!! It looks like you will complement each other very well!

    ---
    Leah Tucker

    • 4 posts
    November 8, 2006 8:26 AM EST

    Rich--
    Do you know how hosts like Letterman and Leno have that five-second delay when Chris Rock or Andrew Dice Clay comes on the show.
    Have you`re own mental five-second delay.
    When she asks you something, you click the mental delay button and listen to your answer.
    If it comes out bad.
    You bleep it out.
    It works!

    Anyways, man, the key is not to get all hung up about the couple thing. All the nightmare stories my "friends" had talked about over the years never came true. And, in fact, I have far more freedom and my life is far richer now than ever.

    (Seriously, though, get two TVs.)

    Sway




    • 4 posts
    November 9, 2006 10:24 AM EST

    You`re a lucky man, Rich. (Like you didn`t know that.)

    • 65 posts
    November 8, 2006 11:32 AM EST

    [/QUOTE]Does that mean Rich should break everything down into 10 Steps?
    [/QUOTE]

    Steve - you know what they say - a journey of a thousand miles begins with 10 single steps. (OK I improvised a little).

    Of course there`s always the 12-step approach - one day at a time. And focusing all your energy in the moment and taking life and love one day at a time ain`t the worst advice in the world either.

    ---
    Michael Zucker - Strategic Planning, Marketing & Communications info@zuckerconsulting.com · www.zuckerconsulting.com “Helping You Over The Hurdles – Keeping You Focused On The Finish Line”

    • 335 posts
    November 8, 2006 8:04 AM EST
    Well, folks, I`m engaged!

    This is big and THRILLING news for me to share. As I mentioned to someone else today, I am experiencing that feeling I never thought I`d experience, which is, "you`ll just know." As powerful as that is, and as excited as I am, I know that I am also a maniacal entrepreneur.

    Here I`m asking you for your advice about how to create the right balance between entrepreneurial passion and a great relationship with a spouse. What works? What`s to avoid? Fellow community member, Eric, has already started in with his thoughts in a different thread and inspired me to create this thread as place where we can really dive in on this... (and, yes, humor is welcomed!).

    Thanks so much for your help, SUNsters! I`m gettin` maaarrried!!!!

    Rich

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 8, 2006 9:54 AM EST
    can i just go out to Staples and get an "Easy" button? will that help?

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 8, 2006 11:30 AM EST
    steve, by gum, you`re onto something here.

    to your question, how about...

    The 10 Steps to Matrimonial Harmony for Maniacal Entrepreneurs

    have at it!

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 9, 2006 4:37 AM EST
    Wow! you are all so helpful!

    who`s going to brew up more "steps" to marital harmony for entrepreneurs?!

    GoldMountainMining, as i indicated in a recent new post, i`m in your neck of the woods on the day after thanksgiving. happy to meet up. (see the post).

    rich

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 9, 2006 9:30 AM EST
    SolidGrnd (Leah), you rock. i am taking all of this to heart and it`s all very sensible to me and gives me confidence that i`m doing this the right way.

    gracias!!! homage!!!!

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 9, 2006 9:59 AM EST
    will post photo right away!!!! great idea!

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 9, 2006 10:17 AM EST
    the last photo shows her incredibly beautiful face... from the only World Series game the Tigers actually won!

    (note that i have not included photos of allison here previously as she`s a pretty private person and likes to stay behind the scenes... perfect for mr. in-the-spotlight!!!!)

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 9, 2006 11:23 AM EST
    she`s a treasure.

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 335 posts
    November 20, 2006 3:40 AM EST
    heather! great to hear from you - hope all`s well. thanks for the well wishes.

    cheerdirector, i`ve gathered a lot of wisdom from fellow SUNsters here, but this is really simple and crisp and something i`ll keep with me. THANKS!

    and thanks to all who`ve shared. with so many failed marriages around, it`s good to learn about relationships that have worked and to understand why.

    all i can say is, it`s going to be great to be "served"!

    ---
    Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

    • 234 posts
    November 8, 2006 9:46 AM EST
    They say the first 100 years are the hardest. No, just kidding. Sway, where`d you hide that bleep button?

    So when`s the big day?
    • 234 posts
    November 8, 2006 10:03 AM EST
    And for those of you who missed the thread.....I was Joel`s BM...that is Best Man at his and Suzanne`s wedding!! (Actually...Joel had two BMs...me another....leave it to Joel to outdo most Grooms.)
    Didn`t Joel have two ministers there too? Never know when you might need a backup.

    So auks, were you the hysterically laughing BM?
    Steve2006-11-8 16:13:56
    • 234 posts
    November 8, 2006 10:40 AM EST
    I am the hysterical one! Let me explain.

    Minister #1 says "You may now kiss the bride"      Pause.......nothing happens.......and he says rather forcefully, under his breath "KISSSSS HERRRR!" Joel -"oh!" .....and does.....finally!

    I lost it!

    Maybe he fell asleep?