During Thanksgiving, I invite you to completely take a break from your business both physically and mentally and to actually be present with your loved ones. Fill those precious moments with love and gratitude.

Try out these steps to bring you into the present moments with those you love during Thanksgiving:

TAKE THE REINS AWAY FROM A BUSY MIND

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in all that is required to make a business successful. Our minds are similar to a dog chewing on a bone. They like to work on “problems”, even creating them for us. Often times, we don’t even know we’re consumed by this tendency. When you feel yourself drifting away from the present and into your future and the issues and things you want to handle, simply stop and love the person in front of you. Remember that these moments are precious and few.

REALLY ENGAGE YOUR LOVED ONES

The most precious and engaging conversations I’ve ever had with my friends and family members are those in which we reminisced or I inquired about what life is like or was like for them. Get into their world. Be curiously engaged in what is most important to them. Make it about them and not you. Create a “blank space” in which they can express themselves and meet them with love. See how they light up!

CREATE A GAME PLAN

Remove idle time in which your mind can wonder by scheduling activities that foster connection and presence with your family members. This could be a drive through the country or a family walk after dinner. Schedule games. Have everyone tell their favorite family experience around the Thanksgiving table. One of my favorite things to do that encourages fellowship that really raises the roof with energy and affinity is to have everyone at the table tell their favorite joke… especially the children. Laughter, after all, is the best medicine.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones, everyone!

With love,

Mike

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” ~ Echhart Tolle

On the flip side, the 2nd quarter of the year is coming to a close as summer hits, and parents in business are no different than anyone else.  We want our momentum to keep going into the 3rd quarter without interruptions.  I definitely do.

In my opinion, summer and business growth and productivity do not need to work against each other.  In fact, greater productivity can lead to greater enjoyment of summer.

I have a sneaky suspicion the busier I am, the more I achieve and fit in to my day.

Think about it - When you have large chunks of time that are unaccounted for…What do you do?  My guess is daydream, play with apps, doodle, waste time, or grab a coffee.

When we are busy and have a really full schedule, we actually fit more in because we are diligent about scheduling.  We make time for each task and responsibility, hopefully blocking out time for our families and fitness and sleep. We map out our days out of NECESSITY, so we can cross everything off not leaving a spare minute to doodle.

A few weeks ago, I had the distinct pleasure of hearing Samantha Ettus speak about work family balance on a panel for Hot Topics for Moms in Business. Samantha imparted us with one tiny little tidbit that stuck in my mind because it is the way I live.  “Run your life like train schedule.” Samantha dramatically changed her entire family’s schedule so both she and her husband could run their businesses and spend time with their children.

Operating on that schedule allows Samantha to fit in everything that she and her husband prioritize.  This is how I live year-round, but especially in summer.  During summer, most of us have the benfit of warm weather and longer days, which lets us squeeze in an early morning run or evening walk for ice cream with all of other responsibilities sandwiched in the middle.

I hope each and everyone of you enjoys your holiday weekend, and as it comes to a close set some goals for your summer.  Outlining both business and family goals are important.  Then, take a look at your schedule week by week and draft up a timeline for those goals.  Insert tasks in your calendar along with time to enjoy your kids, dogs and the summer weather.

Reach out to friends and other parents in your neighborhood to arrange a childcare swap, carpools, or information on local kids’ programs.  Go over plans with your spouse and partner and put it all in the schedule!

I am training for a half-marathon, and I think the discipline used in my training can be applied to business.  I have a plan mapped out with goals I want to hit and how much I need to run, stretch and rest/reinvigorate to get to my goal.  The same goes for business.  I know where I want to go, which includes how many nights I need to work to get there and how I can take the weekends off to replenish myself and my family.

I would love for you to share your top summer goal with me and how you have scheduled to make it happen!  Keeping one another accountable is always helpful!

Here is to an amazing summer for you and me both.  I hope your business rises like the heat (Don’t forget to cool off with an ice-cream).

For more on ’summer tricks of the trade for moms and dads’…read here.

Rachel

When I first started my business, every conference that I attended dropped me into an environment of all new people because business was a brand new field for me.  Getting on a plane or in a car to attend a conference near or far with several hundred people that I never met before has made me a bit of a warrior in the area.

In fact, now when I choose a conference, I look for ones that will allow me to meet new people and partake of different information.  What can I say?  I am a renegade.

As I was leaving last week, a colleague asked me if I was ready to head off to a destination that I never went to before with people that I did not know.  My response was ‘Absolutely.’  Don’t get me wrong, I felt some jitters, but mostly I was excited.

You see, going to meet new people at an unknown conference or environment is not only daring and bold, but also savvy.  The business world is a big, wide open space, and with all the virtual opportunities, it is easy to get lost in a sea of avatars.  I love networking online and chatting on Twitter as much as the next person, but those transactions must translate into REAL LIFE for them to really push forward.

It is so easy to hide behind our laptops and tablets with a false sense that we are connecting with lots of people, and often, online connections are amazing.  However, in order to make greater partnerships, referral networks, and lasting relationships, some of these connections must become IRL (In Real Life). Although, we spread our avatars all over the internet, it really is crucial to put an actual face with a name.

Although it is imperative to keep current relationships fresh and ongoing, it is also imperative to make new ones.  My goal for this year was to choose one brand-spanking new conference to attend in comparison to last year when they were all new.  I had to reserve some time and money to attend one or two that I loved from last year in order to both pay it forward and stay in touch IRL with contacts.

Last week was the NEW one.  The conference where I knew nobody and had no idea what to expect.  What started out as a nerve wracking experience proved to be both fruitful and fun.

Of course, I had my survival tips ready.

(Attending a New) Conference Survival Tactics:

1. Smile.  Look happy.  Whether you are nervous, scared or feel like you are going to be sick, put a happy face on because it makes you way more approachable.
2. Forget Avatars. You see that picture by my name here?  Guarantee you that in person, I look nothing like it.  Don’t memorize avatars and think you will recognize anyone.
3. Don’t Prequalify. Leave judgement at home.  The most unassuming person may be your best contact or the one person that you are just dying meet, may prove to be a dud.  In other words, meet and greet as many people as you can!  Move around the room, change seats or tables, and introduce yourself to as many people as possible.
4. Be ready to conduct business. Really.  Bring extra business cards, notepads, pens, laptop/tablets/chargers, and even any legal documents as in non-disclosures if they apply.
5. Takes notes. After meeting someone, make a few notes on their card or in a  notebook so you are prepared for a little conversation when following up.

Yes, you must follow up with the contacts that you meet and make an effort to move the relationship forward.

I would love to hear about your adventures of heading to conferences…

To read more about the simple, yet practical advice I heard on work life balance, read here.

Rachel

This week has taken nothing short of velcro-ing myself to my desk to finish the tasks at hand.  Every time I am out driving, I see loads of happy people walking, jogging, biking, and taking a quick break in their day to catch some fresh air.  The smiling is infectious.

While smiling, exercising, and sheer utter joy may all be side effects of summeritus, so is canceling appointments and not following through on commitments.  As with most things, there is a good and bad side to summeritus.

All week, I have been hearing, ‘I am sorry, I cannot meet you now’ and ‘I apologize, I did not get to _______’….Come on!  I was not born yesterday.  I am looking out my window dreamily, too.  I am fantasizing about a long walk and frozen yogurt just like you.

This is all a result of over-committing, a lesson that I frequently learn the hard way.  Saying no to committees and meetings and lunch dates and additional tasks is hard to do.  This is especially the case when the person asking is a friend, treasured colleague, and/or someone we are dying to do business with in the future.

However, saying yes and not following through is even worse than over-committing, which is what always gets me in trouble.  I cannot do the no follow through thing, so I end up totally stressed.  I have had to teach myself the hard way to only commit to what I am going to see through until it is finished.

It is like the meeting that I fought to get to last winter in the middle of a snowstorm on a snow day from school.  I had a few back up plans in place in oder to make this happen because I was thoroughly committed.  Otherwise, canceling would have been way to easy.

Let’s use this early summeritus season to learn some lessons about committing:

1. Do not commit to something if you do not see yourself being able to finish it even on the most magical weather day of the year.
2. Set a hard limit for how many meetings, event, committees you want to do in a week, month.
3. It is better to say No upfront rather than excuse yourself after you have already said Yes, so be certain that it is something really can commit to (rain, snow, or sunshine).

Not sure if you remember, but last spring - I unplugged! That is right, I unplugged for a week with my family.  It was great!  I logged in to my computer once a day just to quickly go through emails in case of anything urgent, but for the remainder of the week, I was PRESENT for face-to-face time.

As winter break approaches and I am going to travel a little with my family, the question of unplugging boils up again.  Well, this time around, I cannot totally unplug because I have a few pressing projects, etc.  However, I only plan to attend to those specific tasks, and unplug for the rest of the time.

As a mom and an entrepreneur, I am not doing my job as a mom if I do not unplug and give full attention to my family when the opportunity presents itself.

So, this semi-unplugging begs the question:  To use an automated ‘out of the office’ message while traveling this holiday season. I say NO.

Don’t fret if you have a different opinion.  I am open to your thoughts, but for me, it is a BIG fat NO to the automated message.

Why? I think that the automated response has a place if you really are somewhere without internet access (where is that?) or ACTUALLY will not be checking email for an extended period of time.  My guess is that will not be the case for most of you.

Even with time off, most of you (and me) will be checking the iphone/berry/droid from time to time.  Isn’t it just easier to do what I did with my initial unplugging?  Simply respond to anything urgent, file away what can wait and needs a response when you are back to work, and delete the junk.

This crazy little unplugging system that I have may seem like a contradiction, but I think a quick daily check of email can really save valuable productive time when you return. With my way, the only emails left in your inbox are the ones that need your attention.

As for what all this has to do with the automated response:  they are annoying; make more junk mail for the recipient; and my guess is that if what your emailee needs is so pressing, they will go on an email frenzy with your inbox and everyone else associated with you.

If this snowball effect happens, it could mean more work for you to clean up in contrast to quickly attending to the matter in the first place.

If you check once a day and respond (currently 24 hours is the minimum courtesy expected to return an email), everything just flows more easily.

As I said, this is my opinion.

I say NO to automation.

If you say YES to automation, share your experiences…..

For more winter vacation survival tips as a mompreneur, click here

AND I do say YES to Merry Everything!

The holiday season together with the end of the year can create a very stressful time period, especially for start-up business people who are also parents.  You know exactly what I am talking about….

In business, we rely A LOT on ourselves for many small details, so this time of year becomes more than hectic.  There are personal and professional holidays cards to go out, gifts to buy and send for family AND possibly customers/clients/associates, holiday parties, family dinners, expenses to gather, business and personal travel to navigate, school vacations, daycare closures, babysitters spending time away, end of the year numbers, goal setting for the new year, and next thing you know it is January 1st!

Recently, I have employed a number of stress reducing tips to help me survive this time of year both as an entrepreneur and mom.  If we are so frazzled when the New Year arrives, we will start off on the wrong foot, and no one wants to do that!

5 Ways to Lighten Holiday Season Stress:

Do NOT hesitate to shop online. Online Shopping is easy, and guess what?  If you wake up just a half hour early or stay up a tiny bit late on one or two occasions, you can get all your shopping finished (right from your own comfy couch).  You can find everything from unique start-up business items to big box retailers online.  Make it simple…..find one or two items that you like, and buy a bunch of them.

Search for a bigger discount and/or free shipping. There are many discount code sites where you can access savings available for cyber shopping.  Saving a few bucks here and there is a fabulous anti-stress technique if you ask me!  I like Retail Me Not.  Just search for the store or item, and save more….

Do not let exercise and health fall by the wayside. This is a biggie!  Often when we are eating holiday goodies and extremely busy, the first thing to go is our workout plan.  This is a BAD idea because exercise is stress relief and we all know we need just that during this time of year.

Do NOT apologize for taking time with family. As parents in business, this time of year requires taking some time off to be with family - No explanations necessary.  Enjoy your time with the kiddos, nieces and nephews!  Have a big order to fill? Major paper filing to do? Or even serious gift wrapping?….Make it a Family Affair!

Saying NO is OK.  Although we want to attend every party, bake a goodie for every bake sale around, visit every relative, and make time for each and every cause, WE CANNOT!  Say No to just one or two items on the list, and guess what?  You may just find the time to fit in your exercise!

Happy Holiday Prep to all of you….Rachel

Looking for more work/life balance exploration? Visit me at http://backngroovemom.com

The article elaborated on how Dorsey’s days are themed so to speak.  For each 8-hour shift, he is working on a particular aspect of the company, such as product development or marketing.  While reading the piece, I was struck by mental lightning!

As moms in business, we essentially work 2 different shifts (at least we should).  We are startup business people for part of the day, but whenever we decide to quit, we are moms.  (Pay attention to the deciding to quit part.)

A common complaint that I hear from moms in business everywhere (and this probably pertains to all home based business people with families) is that the 2 roles often run together.  When we mix our offices with our home life, which is all too often the case, being a mom and a business person intersect, crash, and merge continuously throughout the days.

Just this past weekend, I was at a party and a mom who works from home approached me on this exact subject.  How did I recommend setting boundaries? Which ways did I not only enforce to my kids that I was working, but let go of work when it was family time?  Did I find it difficult to turn off work since it was so readily available at home?

Moms in Business feel the pull between both of their babies, both human and business.  Our children need our attention, love, and understanding, but so do our growing businesses.  I think that we can all take a lesson from Jack Dorsey, so I incorporated some of his techniques in my tips for being both a MOM and an ENTREPRENEUR:

First, define and separate the time periods for working on business AND families.  Now, I know first hand that being a mom is a 24 hour gig, but there are hours that our children are in childcare, with family, or at school.  These are hours that we can count on to work on our businesses.  Define the ‘shifts’ to increase boundaries.

Second, hold a planning session with the one and only - YOU - on Sunday Night.  Set your tasks for the week, and use Dorsey’s themed days as an example.  Maybe an accounting day or a day spent entirely in meetings back to back for that particular week?  Set expectations, commitments, and ‘themes’ for the week.

Third, resist the urge to let the 2 roles collide. This is extremely difficult with or without a home office because let’s face it, where we go, our smart phone goes.  Resist the temptation to answer one last email or take one last call when it is family time.  I am certainly not perfect at this, but what I can guarantee is that when you overlap one role into the other, you are not providing either ‘company’ your full attention, which leads to mistakes and/or extra work (trust me).  Give each position your undivided attention when you are set to work on that project.

Fourth and finally, be forgiving. Do not beat yourself up over wanting to work certain hours on your business plan.  Do not feel guilty about setting boundaries on your business when it is time for you to be a MOM.  Be firm and peaceful with your plan because your business and your children are both your babies.

Can you suggest any scheduling tips and tricks to help remove overlap, leave out guilt, and improve performance?

Rachel

http://backngroovemom.com

Last week, I wrote about the beginning steps of forming a childcare cooperative.  Why is this type of initiative vital to start-up business?  Well, if you are a parent and trying to grow a business at the same time as your kids, quality child coverage is hard to find and costly!  We never want to skimp when it comes to our kids, however, we are more than likely operating on lean budgets with our business.  Striking a partnership with another parent or two under similar circumstances is a fabulous solution.  You know who your kids are with, your kids know the plan, and by returning the favor you retain CASH.

As both parents and business owners, we try to be available to our children on most occasions.  There are times that we cannot swing it.  Thinking ahead of the curve translates to success for all involved.

You do not have to be Super Mom or Dad on every day off!  Your kids can learn valuable lessons from other fabulous parents just like you can provide fun experiences for other kids.  When your kids are invited out, it is a chance for them to learn something new while you are a Super Business Person for the day!

If you forgot the details of the first few steps, you can catch up here. Otherwise, let’s get down to the business of arranging for a childcare partnership.

Once you have located and pitched the other parent(s) to be involved:

1. Negotiate Up Front - Just like you would in a business bartering arrangement, negotiate your childcare partnership up front.  Make certain all parties are happy with the terms.  For example, snow delays and cancellations are a reality in many states, and a real pain to the parents affected.  I have an agreement with another mom that on certain days of the week, I take all the kids in a delay and other days, she is in charge.  On cancellation days, we split the day in half with each of us taking a half-day with the troops.  Planning ahead of time makes last minute surprises, such as a few inches of snow and ice, much less expensive in relation to last minute childcare plans and hours lost.
2. Pay in Advance - Are you planning on taking a day off for a particular National Holiday, taking a time out over spring break, or heading to the museum on an in-service day for your school?  Invite a few of your kids’ friends to go.  That’s right, I am suggesting that you add a couple MORE kids to your day.  When you are a helpful mom on a day off of school, it makes asking another mom a lot more natural on another day.  School Vacations, In-Service Days, and National Holidays can make moms feels that their kids never go to school.  If you set the tone for partnership, a few of these days off can actually be extremely productive days in business for you.
3. Family Last - You have heard the expression Family First, when it comes to childcare, I reserve Family for Last.  You may be scratching your head and questioning this.  It can become very easy to ask other family members - grandparents, aunts & uncles, siblings - to take charge of your kiddos.  I recommend saving these chits for when you really need them.  Sick days are particularly difficult and expensive to find a solution.  This is the type of day that I save family members for….who else would take better care of a sneezing, coughing little one?  Have a biz trip that you need added hours of help or overnight care?  Another example of when to call in the family.  Reserving Family as a Last Resort is the key to effective cost management when you may need childcare the most.

You must think of the time when it is most important to you that Family be involved in child care.  Prioritize your reasons and Save your Family for those times.  This way, your Family stays a viable option!

There you have it!  Time to put your partnership to work and Grow your Business and Your Kids at the Same Time!  Visit my blog on Monday — I am sure that I will be updating on my half day with kids and half day of work – http://backngroovemom.com

Often, as parents and business owners, we start to feel that our kids are out of school more than in school.  The question of what to do with our kids on all these days OFF is HUGE! Quality occasional childcare is expensive and hard to find, so what I suggest is create a partnership with another mom or dadpreneur.

Forming a Childcare Cooperative is a fabulous solution to a very large and difficult problem. In small business, keeping costs down is a necessity, and exorbitant rates for child coverage does not exactly fit the plan.  Striking a deal with another mom or dad is an easy way to navigate high rates and know that your kids are in good hands.

You may be thinking this does not apply to you because often mom and dadpreneurs work their businesses around home life.  Often, parents & business owners work late nights and early mornings, during naps and school hours, but there is always a window where coverage is a necessity.

Take advantage of finding a solution up front because last minute arrangements prove to be stressful and expensive.  Not to mention, kids are unhappy with who, what, & where when a plan is a surprise to them.

Leaving happy kids makes you a much more productive parent and entrepreneur.  Not to mention the incredible experiences that your kids can have with different parents’ expertise.

Over the next few weeks, I will share some steps that will help you establish a partnership with another parent or two or three.

Here are your first 2 steps:

1. The ‘Talk’ - The first step in the equation is to connect with your spouse/partner - even if you are divorced - and make sure that you each take ownership of what your individual responsibilities are as a parent.  This is what I like to call the ‘talk.’  A crucial step in dividing up tasks is knowing who is the parent in charge of finding coverage when there is a shortage.  (note - if you are a solo parent & a solopreneur….just move on to the next step)
2. Turn a playdate into a Pitch - The second step is finding another mom or dad or a few parents that you trust in a similar scenario.  These are other parents who you trust and also need a helping hand when it comes to childcare. Make a plan to connect over coffee or a playdate, and present the idea.

Now you have the first 2 steps…Get started!  Stay tuned for next week when I discuss more in the Formula for Growing Your Business and Kids at the Same Time…..

Visit me anytime at http://backngroovemom.com where I highlight my adventures as a mom and startup biz owner!

In the middle of this aforementioned mess that I refer to as my life, I am also preparing final copy for a one-sheet to be handed out at a conference next week.  Being the perfectionist that I am, not only has the copy kept me up at night, but while doing it I found 10 copy areas that I want to change across my website.  Yet another pressing item that interfered with my sleep.

The reason why I mention all this goes full circle to me discussing stress busters on my own blog.  I left out SLEEP as a way of beating stress.  I do not know if that was some crazy subconscious thing, but sleep was not on the list.  I listed exercise, eating right, and laughter as the top busters. Sleep was missing from the list.

Typically, I do tend to burn the midnight oil AND take advantage of being a morning person.  Earlier in the week while working on my copy and finding it difficult to step away, several people said to me ‘sleep on it.’  In other words - give it a rest and look at it with a fresh eye tomorrow.

I took the meaning of ‘sleep on it’ a step further.  I interpreted the statement literally.  I realized that I was in fact very tired and really did need a good night’s sleep.  What did I do?  I slept on it, literally and figuratively.

I powered down all my various devices and hit the hay.  When I woke up in the morning, I felt great and absolutely ready to attack the task at hand.  I finished the copy with a new perspective, and I physically felt much different.  I am now moving SLEEP to the top of my stress buster list.

As start-up business people (and moms/dads), our lives are hectic and full.  We need to take care of our businesses (and families) and often forget about ourselves.  I know myself - I grab another cup of coffee or diet coke and keep plugging away.  This catches up with me and you all too easily.

Yes, we need to make time to laugh and exercise.  It is always important to eat right.  BUT, most important is SLEEP.  Allow yourself the time to walk away from whatever project you are working on, power down, and relax.  Getting a solid night’s sleep will not only give you a fresh approach but make you feel great.

Think of it this way - SLEEP = PRODUCTIVITY.

Want to read more about stress relief or my latest mishap - check out http://backngroovemom.com