The holiday season together with the end of the year can create a very stressful time period, especially for start-up business people who are also parents.  You know exactly what I am talking about….

In business, we rely A LOT on ourselves for many small details, so this time of year becomes more than hectic.  There are personal and professional holidays cards to go out, gifts to buy and send for family AND possibly customers/clients/associates, holiday parties, family dinners, expenses to gather, business and personal travel to navigate, school vacations, daycare closures, babysitters spending time away, end of the year numbers, goal setting for the new year, and next thing you know it is January 1st!

Recently, I have employed a number of stress reducing tips to help me survive this time of year both as an entrepreneur and mom.  If we are so frazzled when the New Year arrives, we will start off on the wrong foot, and no one wants to do that!

5 Ways to Lighten Holiday Season Stress:

Do NOT hesitate to shop online. Online Shopping is easy, and guess what?  If you wake up just a half hour early or stay up a tiny bit late on one or two occasions, you can get all your shopping finished (right from your own comfy couch).  You can find everything from unique start-up business items to big box retailers online.  Make it simple…..find one or two items that you like, and buy a bunch of them.

Search for a bigger discount and/or free shipping. There are many discount code sites where you can access savings available for cyber shopping.  Saving a few bucks here and there is a fabulous anti-stress technique if you ask me!  I like Retail Me Not.  Just search for the store or item, and save more….

Do not let exercise and health fall by the wayside. This is a biggie!  Often when we are eating holiday goodies and extremely busy, the first thing to go is our workout plan.  This is a BAD idea because exercise is stress relief and we all know we need just that during this time of year.

Do NOT apologize for taking time with family. As parents in business, this time of year requires taking some time off to be with family - No explanations necessary.  Enjoy your time with the kiddos, nieces and nephews!  Have a big order to fill? Major paper filing to do? Or even serious gift wrapping?….Make it a Family Affair!

Saying NO is OK.  Although we want to attend every party, bake a goodie for every bake sale around, visit every relative, and make time for each and every cause, WE CANNOT!  Say No to just one or two items on the list, and guess what?  You may just find the time to fit in your exercise!

Happy Holiday Prep to all of you….Rachel

Looking for more work/life balance exploration? Visit me at http://backngroovemom.com

In the middle of this aforementioned mess that I refer to as my life, I am also preparing final copy for a one-sheet to be handed out at a conference next week.  Being the perfectionist that I am, not only has the copy kept me up at night, but while doing it I found 10 copy areas that I want to change across my website.  Yet another pressing item that interfered with my sleep.

The reason why I mention all this goes full circle to me discussing stress busters on my own blog.  I left out SLEEP as a way of beating stress.  I do not know if that was some crazy subconscious thing, but sleep was not on the list.  I listed exercise, eating right, and laughter as the top busters. Sleep was missing from the list.

Typically, I do tend to burn the midnight oil AND take advantage of being a morning person.  Earlier in the week while working on my copy and finding it difficult to step away, several people said to me ‘sleep on it.’  In other words - give it a rest and look at it with a fresh eye tomorrow.

I took the meaning of ‘sleep on it’ a step further.  I interpreted the statement literally.  I realized that I was in fact very tired and really did need a good night’s sleep.  What did I do?  I slept on it, literally and figuratively.

I powered down all my various devices and hit the hay.  When I woke up in the morning, I felt great and absolutely ready to attack the task at hand.  I finished the copy with a new perspective, and I physically felt much different.  I am now moving SLEEP to the top of my stress buster list.

As start-up business people (and moms/dads), our lives are hectic and full.  We need to take care of our businesses (and families) and often forget about ourselves.  I know myself - I grab another cup of coffee or diet coke and keep plugging away.  This catches up with me and you all too easily.

Yes, we need to make time to laugh and exercise.  It is always important to eat right.  BUT, most important is SLEEP.  Allow yourself the time to walk away from whatever project you are working on, power down, and relax.  Getting a solid night’s sleep will not only give you a fresh approach but make you feel great.

Think of it this way - SLEEP = PRODUCTIVITY.

Want to read more about stress relief or my latest mishap - check out http://backngroovemom.com

I thought of how this question may relate to my larger start-up biz audience here at StartUpNation, and I easily found my answer in the original question — “Can we find time for pampering?”

I hear from so many entrepreneurs, not only moms and women, but men, too –  “I just do not have time for ME!” or “ME time is a luxury that I cannot afford right now.”

Well, I question how you simply cannot afford to go without a bit of ME time.  Although we all define what pampering means differently to each of us, every person is entitled to a little bit of it.  As a start-up biz person, who lives and breathes their business, more than likely works out of their home probably close to round the clock, and has invested the majority of their time, energy, love, and money into their venture…..YOU need some ME time!

So, while I plan to make some very real suggestions to mompreneurs everywhere on how they can fit a tiny bit of precious pampering, I ask you, StartUpNation Readers, to make a short list.  That list should include the top three ways that you like to enjoy ME time.  Honestly, your top choice could be as simple as shutting off your phone and reading a book for 30 minutes or indulging in an hour of yoga or perhaps a massage.

Make your list, hang it above your desk, and think about whether you take the time or not.

If you do, share with us why it is so important to make the time.

If you do not, stay tuned for some helpful hints as to allowing yourself time to indulge in YOU!

In the meantime, read about my recent brush with excess time and how I prefer the craziness and chaos at http://backngroovemom.com

As Memorial Day approaches, I thought it would be nice to post a little inspirational message.

After all, it’s almost time to celebrate grads, dads and the arrival of summer.

However, many of you may be dealing with tough times or financial difficulties with your business and unable to truly

celebrate anything.

Hang in there. Eventually, things will turn around.

Remember that just as things are at their worst, they may be getting ready to change for the better. But if you

give up, you’ll never experience the successes from all your hard work.

Being an entrepreneur is not easy. It takes time, energy, a great team, perseverance, and yes, a little luck.

… so with this in mind, here are three things to remember when you are frustrated at not winning new business, unable to score media interviews, or just plain having a terrible week:

1. Have Hope.

No matter how bad things get, know that they can’t be that bad forever. Try to remain positive, and keep working towards your goals.

Surround yourself with successful and inspirational people and do what it takes to keep going.

1. Stick to Your Plan.

Know what you need to do to reach your goals. Take each activity one step at a time, even if they are baby steps.

Finish certain tasks each day to get you one step closer to success. And at the end of the day, congratulate yourself for completing each, small task.

1. Don’t Beat Yourself Up.

Being a small business owner is a learning experience. But if you are constantly beating yourself up for business failures and bad luck, you’ll miss out on learning from your mistakes… which are essential to success.

Focus on your dreams and keep moving forward, no matter what.

Take a break if necessary. After all, even if you just decide to stop working and “start fresh tomorrow,” you are still moving forward.

Hang in There.

Please don’t let frustration stop you from pursuing your dreams.

Stick to your plan, continue to work hard and surround yourself with positive people. Then, when you become an “overnight success,” you’ll have a great, in-the-trenches story to tell about how you faced adversity… and won!

(And think of all the other, new entrepreneurs you’ll inspire after they hear your story!)

Do you have questions about increasing sales with search engine optimization copywriting and content strategy? Please let me know here, or get free information at www.rembrandtwrites.com.

Spring Break starts this Friday at 3 p.m., and although I worked part of the winter break, we have a family trip scheduled for spring break.  This is a time for us to share with one another having conversation that does not include talk of homework, tests, chores, my busy schedule, carpool details, lunch menu choices, and the need for everyone to be quiet because I have a conference call.  It is Real Live Face-to-Face time (not on an Itouch) where we can create memories that certainly will never fade.

SO, I am challenging myself to something new — watch the video below and find out!

Some may criticize my decision, but it feels right to me.  I owe this to myself and my boys - to be a family without interruption.  This also teaches my boys an important lesson - that they do not have to be tethered to technology all the time either, but actual time spent together is important.

If you think I may need checks and balances with this challenge:  Have no fear!  My mom is joining us, AND no one dislikes my smart phone use more than my mom.

I hope you will think of me next week -

Do not forget to drop me a comment below if you try to ditch the phone or not on vacation….always curious to hear different opinions.

You can always visit me at http://backngroovemom.com and catch up on my archived posts.

And, you know that I will have one big blog to write when I get back on how this whole challenge went for me!

Yep. We’ve all been there. It’s not fun, but frustration is a part of business.

Instead of taking it personally, you need to move on to the next opportunity. And this can be easier said than done so here are three, quick tips to help you feel better about your business and get back on the road to success.

1. Follow a Plan.

Do you have a plan to obtain new business, or are you just pitching whatever comes across your desk? If you don’t have a plan, it’s time to stop what you are doing and focus.

• What do you want to accomplish and how are you going to get there?
• What do you need to do, and when, to reach your goals?

This will help you organize your sales process and know exactly what steps to take after a potential customer turns you down.

2. Let it Go.

Instead of focusing on lost sales, move on. Give yourself a few minutes to review why your products or services were rejected, and learn from your mistakes. Then, use this new knowledge in your future pitches.

You will feel a lot better if you concentrate on positive thoughts rather than dwelling on the negative. And sometimes this can be difficult so don’t be afraid to turn to a friend for support, read a good, self-help book or blast some upbeat music to get back on track.

This is important because if you feel depressed and frustrated, potential clients will feel your sad vibe. However, if you radiate a positive energy, you’ll be more likely to get others excited about the benefits your products or services can provide.

3. Review Successes.

Things can get pretty ugly out there in the business world. There are many people who do not want to see you succeed, and it can often seem like you are fighting a constant, uphill battle.

But please don’t let it get to you!

When you start to get frustrated, look back at your successes. Think of all the things you have done right for your business, and be proud of how far you have come.

Also, think of ten things you are thankful for and write them down. After all, many people wish they had what you do right now, and it helps to take a minute and appreciate all of the good things in your life.

You Can Do It!

All of us go through trying times in our business lives. It’s how you react to these challenges that matters.

Hang in there, and get through them the best that you can. Vision success in your mind every day.

If you continue to focus on your plan for success and learn from your mistakes, things will probably get better when you least expect it. And when your sales numbers skyrocket, just think of the great “rags to riches” story you’ll have to tell the media!

Do you have some tips to share with others on how you get through the tough times as an entrepreneur? Please share them here or write to me at www.rembrandtwrites.com. Thanks!

Recently, a fellow mompreneur-in-training tweeted me and wanted to know what I think makes a successful mompreneur?  I knew that I could not answer her back in a 140 characters or less so I promised her a blog post on the subject.  I immediately thought about the wave of emotions that accompanies being a mompreneur.

My current emotional spectrum ranges from either pure excitement (so much that I am physically nauseous) to absolutely exhausted.  I know this sounds awful, but somehow it surprisingly feels great.  I am not kidding.  Challenging myself as a mompreneur is grueling, but absolutely amazing!  There is no grey area, just vibrant emotions that leave me feeling tingling and exhilarated.  That is the life of a mompreneur.  If it did not feel so good, we mompreneurs would not do it.  I like to think of tackling this up and down of feelings as Emotional Endurance. Being a mom, wife/partner/girlfriend, entrepreneur is a daily marathon, and without Emotional Endurance you cannot finish.

Not only is being a mompreneur a marathon, but one with many hills.  Every day as a mompreneur is different and requires adjustment and quick thinking.  No fancy name for this other than thinking and acting quickly.  You may have your list or plan for the day, and the phone rings from school or daycare with a sick kid.  Now what?  My experience has been to act quickly!  Who can help?  What can you change? What cannot change?  Is there a movie that your kid desperately wants to rent?  Get where I am going? Mompreneurs make fast decisions on how to hold as much of it together as they can for that particular day.

The ability to multi-task is another essential part of a successful mompreneur.  I do not need to tell you that smart phones, laptops, iPads, etc make multi-tasking easier because, by now, most people know that.  Multi-tasking as a mompreneur means listening to a podcast on trademarking while making dinner with your fourth grader sitting next to you finishing his math homework (for you to correct).  I like to think of multi-tasking as a mompreneur more as Sensory Overdrive.  You can look, hear, taste all at the same time without even breaking a sweat.

Another essential is listening, but not just listening, rather what I call Visual Listening.  You probably think that I belong back in the sensory section - nope!  I think that with the internet, the idea of listening has changed.  Yes, we still have to listen with our ears, and there are plenty of opportunities to do that with podcasts, vlogs, interviews, and plain conversations.  Visual Listening is reading expert blogs, forum discussions, ebooks, or twitter, and really listening to what others are saying in their printed words!  If you Visually Listen to what is out there, you will not believe the information you find at your fingertips.

So far that is my take on successful mompreneurism.  I would be lying if I did not include a healthy dose of Fear in the equation. More than anything, fear propels me.  Not so much fear of failing, but fear of not living my potential and striving for my dreams.

To read the real life account of my ups and downs, visit http://backngroovemom.com

Many moms decide to be a mompreneur because of the flexibility, and there was absolutely an element of this is in my decision-making process.  As mompreneurs, we do not have to give up the 2nd grade Thanksgiving performance or can work at home with a sick kid.  Being a mompreneur means you are your own boss, and so if you want to answer emails at 4 a.m. or 11 p.m., that is your choice.  The other side of the coin is building something as a mompreneur means you are on the line and it can become all-consuming (especially if dogged describes you). Guilty as charged!

No matter what I do, I always put my entire self into it.  When I added mompreneur to my bag of tricks, not much changed.  I started out in full swing, devoting every ounce of energy that I had to my biz pursuit.  Not to mention that I struggled with what I could let go from my Stay-At-Home Mom repertoire.  Developing the balance is not easy, and I do not even pretend to having achieved anything in this department.

My determination is not isolated to being a mom and mompreneur.  I have always been extremely committed to regular exercise.  This was not only a means of staying fit, but also a huge stress relief for me.  Running, power-walking, spinning, weight-lifting, kick-boxing, pilates, and yoga - I love them all and try to switch it up and incorporate different methods.  Last week, I went to yoga for the first time in a while and maneuvered into my downward dog.

At one point, the instructor had us in some pose on the mat and encouraged us to let go of what was distracting us, free ourselves from what was on our minds, to just be in the moment.  Guess what?  This mompreneur could not do it!  I could not let go.  The more the instructor talked about letting go. the more my mind filled with all the distractions on my to-do list.  There I am laying in there in the steaming hot yoga room thinking about my list on my desk, my blog, the lawyer, and a weekend meeting.

This was VERY BAD NEWS for me….how could I not release my brain for 1 hour of stress relief?  I obsessed over this fact for the entire day further proving to myself that my dogged nature was turning evil.  That night while I lay awake, I determined that I had to find some way to table my excitement, drive, and passion for my current project for 1 hour every day.  I basically used reverse psychology on myself and my obstinacy to let go.  I challenged myself to something that I failed at, and I knew that “dog-gone” I was going to do it!

In one week, this is what I have learned:

1. Fast Walking/Running on the Treadmill with loud music playing AND the “dinging” of a new email or text turned OFF works for me (problem with using iphone as ipod).
2. Pairing up with a friend for an hour walk is extremely helpful because it forces me to concentrate on somebody else.
3. Fast-paced exercise classes keep me focused on the moment and do not allow my mind to wander.
4. Beyond exercise - getting involved for 30 minutes with a mindless novel allows my brain to relax, too.

NOW - you know that I am not going to quit on yoga.  I will find a way to corral my thoughts and lay on that mat, sweaty and thoughtless.  My goal for the next few weeks is to be more dogged about my downward dogs.  I will keep you posted on what I discover - in the meantime, feel free to share any mind clearing tricks that you have and visit me at http://backngroovemom.com to follow my dogged pursuits.

Many people think of self-discipline as being strong enough to resist all temptations and just do all the work we need to do. But I’ve discovered that the best way to be disciplined is to help yourself, by removing all temptations from the situations where you need to get work done.

For example, I play rugby and need to train six times a week. Sometimes I train with my teammates but twice a week we’re supposed to train on our own. I had been skipping half of those training sessions. When I talked with my rugby friends about it, it turned out that they had been skipping some of their self-training sessions too. So we made an agreement: instead of training by ourselves we’d all get together at the park and train. If someone didn’t show up, they’d have to pay the four of us $20 each. That’s $80 for missing practice! In two months, only one of us missed a session.

Here’s the funny part: because everyone lived in different parts of the city, we all had to drive 30 minutes to meet up at the park. It would have been much more convenient to train on our own. But we had already tried that and it didn’t work.

Most of us face situations like this one every day. We try to convince ourselves that driving an extra 30 minutes to do something that we could do at home is stupid. We think that we should just be strong enough to get our work done without any extra incentives. But you’re a human being. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Temptations exist. You can either make it really hard for yourself or manipulate the situation you’re in so things are easier for you.

This is how I manipulated some situations in my life to make things easier for myself:

• I used to check my email several times a day and that was killing me. There’s no way to focus on something and be productive if you check your email every five minutes. I decided to tear up a $1 bill every time I checked my email during the day. Six months later, I’m out $3 and I’m 200% more productive. Not bad, huh?
• I wanted to eat more fruit and less junk food. So, instead of buying both at the grocery store, I only got fruits and no junk food. Now, every time I want junk food I need to drive a whole mile to the closest gas station. I’ve probably reduced my intake of junk food by 90%.
• When I get really stressed out, I start sniffing. This gives me headaches and stomach cramps. I used to think that it’s part of me and I couldn’t change it. Last month I did an experiment: every time I started sniffing, I’d take a 5-minute break from work. The first week of my experiment I was really pissed at myself. I’d work for two minutes, start sniffing, take five minutes off, then work for 30 seconds, start sniffing again, take another five minutes off and so on. I couldn’t get any work done. But little by little I started associating the sniffing with the punishment and I stopped doing it. Now it probably happens once or twice a day, but I don’t have the headaches or stomach cramps anymore.

When you run your own business being disciplined is incredibly important. But if you manipulate your situation, you can make it a lot easier to avoid temptation and get your work done.

What’s a startup family? Well, technically I just made it up, so it doesn’t really have a definition, but to me a startup family is a group of entrepreneurs you can go to at any time about any problem, no matter where you are in your career. For me, this group consists of former business partners, CEOs I have worked with as a consultant, advisors, strategic partners and more. These are the people you can go to when you are trying to raise money for your startup and need to get connected to investors, when you’ve hit a wall with the progress of your company and need some input or even when your circumstances have changed (as they often do) and you decide it’s time for you to find a new startup to work on or even a side job to help pay the bills. Your startup family will point you in the right direction.

This may just sound like “networking”, but it’s really much deeper than that. These people go above and beyond to help you out on more than one occasion, often times without any direct incentive (financially or otherwise). In return, you do the same for them, doing anything you can to help them achieve their goals, even if it means having to take important time away from your own work at a critical time in your business. While all of this can take quite a bit of time, I have found it to be the #1 asset I have accumulated during my career to date.

How to Build Your Startup Family

Especially if you’re starting from scratch, it can take years to build, but perhaps not as many years as you might think. To me there are a handful of main steps to follow to make this happen:

1) Seize the opportunity: How many entrepreneurs or startup professionals have you met in your lifetime? If you’re running a new company and are going about it the right way, chances are that number is approximately “a lot”. Each one of these is a major opportunity to build a relationship that will benefit both of you for the rest of your lives, regardless of what business opportunities exist between the two of you along the way. Most people don’t really take advantage of these opportunities, and instead only look at the relationship at face value based on how the relationship can influence what’s happening in their business today.

2) Leave a lasting impression: Chances are (especially if you’re a young entrepreneur), you’re not going to impress fellow entrepreneurs/CEOs with a list of accomplishments. You need to show very clearly that you are passionate about what you’re doing, that you have the determination needed to get it done, and above all else, that you really respect them and the time they are spending with you. Be genuine and good things will happen.

3) Nurture the relationship: This is where most people fall short. As you are continuing along your path, you need to keep track of all the relationships you have started and keep the ball rolling. Send brief updates about your progress to people you have met, and ask them if there is anything you can do to help them. Show an interest in their goals, not just your own. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, but choose your battles. Everyone is as busy as you are (if not more so), and you want to show them you are considerate of their time.

4) Make introduction suggestions: This is a big one for me. Most people won’t ask for an introduction to someone unless they have a very specific purpose for doing so. However, if you are able to see value in two of your contacts meeting each other, suggest it to both of them. If they bite, make the intro. They won’t expect anything specific to come from meeting your contact, but especially if they end up making a life-long friend or someone who helps them on a business deal, they’ll never forget that you were the one that selflessly made that happen for them.

5) Leave things on good terms: Sometimes things just don’t work out like you thought they would. When this happens, some people can experience a certain level of frustration and potentially hurt feelings over the situation. It’s your job to go above and beyond to try and set things right and leave the relationship on good terms. It’s not always a guarantee that you can make this happen, but most people will at least appreciate your sincerity and the effort you put in to trying to make things right between you.

To close this out, I’d like to thank all of the people who continue to help me along my path as an entrepreneur. If you’re reading this and think it’s at all possible that I might consider you part of my startup family, you’re right. You have helped me in more ways than you know, so please don’t forget to ask me for help when you need it. Succeeding together is what it’s all about.

About the author

Corey Kossack is a Managing Partner at Game Change Ventures, focusing on partnering and consulting with startups in the areas of social media, consumer Internet, e-commerce and mobile technology. Corey is also a Partner at Game Change Ventures’ first Internet startup, Addoway, an online marketplace for fashion, collectibles and more that helps you buy and sell with your friends and the merchants they trust. Formerly Corey was one of the world’s largest retailers on eBay, built a $1M company from scratch at age 23, has led multiple startups and received numerous awards for his entrepreneurial achievements.