A real life water cooler question for home-based business owners
March 17th, 2006
0 votes
I need advice. It’s not actually business advice, but I would be asking everyone around the water cooler what to do in this situation. You are my water cooler.
It’s about racism.
I carpool with an Indian Mother– Indian, as in from the country, India. She came to me for advice:
A first grader in her neighborhood told her kindergarten-age daughter that she doesn’t want to get in her car for a ride home because it smells funny. The first grader went on to say, “You all smell funny. I don’t like Indians.”
The little girl was crushed and came home crying. Her mother asked me what she should do. I’m asking you. What should I tell her?
March 17th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
Hi Joan,
Whoo this is a tough one.
I have 2 questions:
1. If you’d found out it was your child who had made this unfortunate comment, what would you have said.
2. Is it possible to have the parent(s) of the 1st grader apologize to the Indian-American girl and her parents, along with their 1st grade daughter. And then explain to the 1st grader that this is offensive and insensitive, in a way that she can understand?
March 17th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
Gosh.
That’s ugly. First, you can’t blame the kids. This stuff doesn’t exist in a vacuum, right? It’s coming from somewhere–probably the parents.
And you know, being all confrontational with the parents will only reinforce the negativity.
You know what would be cool? If your friend offered to have the child’s parents over for an Indian dinner.
It may be a way to show this child’s parents how wonderful Indian culture is.
Maybe I’m being naive… but it’s easy to blindly hate a group. But once you really meet a person of that group… and get to know them… and get to like them.
Then it’s hard to be that stupid.
And at least you know you tried.
Just a thought.
March 17th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Thanks for your responses. If it were my child, I would talk to him about it immediately. Luckily, he has friends of many different ethnic and racial heritages. He is proud and excited about how many different traditions he has experienced in his six years. I’m sure my husband and I have something to do with that in the way we treat life day to day. But I don’t want to jump to the conclusion that this child’s parents are any different.
The Indian family does eat different foods, and the little girl may smell strange to the other child. Kids perceive the world through their senses. If her olafactory system is offended, that doesn’t make her family racist. I think it is all in the conversations that take place in the family. The offender here must learn how to behave as a part of a very diverse society, and she should be encouraged to understand that we don’t judge a family or a nation of people by how they smell.
I am leaning toward telling my friend to talk to the parents and explain what happened. If she is too shy to do so, maybe she should talk to the school principal and ask his advice. I like the idea of inviting the family over for dinner, but I’m not sure that will be warmly recieved. I think she should find out how the mother responds first.