Are You Ready For A Real Office?
November 8th, 2005
0 votes
Excuse me for forgetting where I read about this but my son was home sick with 103 fever, my dog has a bladder infection (don’t even ask about the carpet in my office), and my family obviously thinks working at home means I have all the time in the world to chat.
What I remembered was “home office from hell” so I googled “home office hell” and found it!.
It’s the Home Office from Hell Contest that I was looking for, created by the folks at office2share.com and sponsored by SCORE. If you win, they will pay your rent for a year! You just have to tell them why yours is the home office from hell.
I imagine the winner will be sharing an office with a stranger, so good luck with that!
I think I’ll stick with my usually healthy son and old dog.
November 9th, 2005 at 10:11 pm
Hi Joan - The winner of the Home Office From Hell contest will be able to select any space listed on our website anywhere in the US ( If we do not currently have the space in a given community we will find it for the winner). Offices2share.com will pay the rent up to $1000/month for 12 months. The vast majority of these offices are furnished, private offices with their own door in Class A office buildings - no need to share with strangers. Amenities typically include high speed internet and access to secretarial and other administrative services. It is the common areas of the space that are shared such as the reception area and receptionist, conference rooms, kitchen/lunch areas, etc. Hope that clarifies things. Thanks - Jeff.
December 1st, 2005 at 9:54 am
Here are some of the entries Office2Share.com has received.
• I live in a one bedroom basement apt. You are either in my bedroom or my office…. I NEED TO GET OUT
• My family always asks me for SMALL favors throughout the day as if I had no job.
• Everyone thinks working from home is great but what’s even greater is separating your personal time from your business time and visa versa.
• My husband really thinks I need to get a "real" job.
• My business is growing. My space is not.
• I do spend too much time in Starbucks meeting with clients. At least my laptop works there.
• The manager at Denny’s jokes that he should charge me office lease, as I practically live there when meeting clients!
• When the neighbor baby starts shrieking, I say “We must have a bad connection, would you mind repeating that please?”
• The city zoning commission left a note on my door "This area is not C2"
• My 6 year old answers the phone saying "Business Advisors this is Katey, how my I help?"
• I AM CRAMP AND I CANT GET OUT…I N E E D S P A C E!
• Clients ask for office location, I say under renovation, I”ll meet them at there home or local Burger King.
• I borrow my 5 year olds play school chair to sit on(only thing that can fit in space)and she comes and takes it back.
• My sock drawer and filing cabinet are now one.
• I feel like I live at my office, wait…I do.
• “Getting away from it all” is synonymous with going to the grocery store.
• Multi-tasking seems to involve yelling "higher" or "lower" during “The Price is Right”.
• I have to go in a closet just to have a conference call.
• If I have to tell one more lie about why I can”t have meetings at my office, I might end up in hell.
• My clients keep catching me coming out of the shower because my wife insists on leaving the door open to air out the steam.
• Everyone is still waiting for me to get a "real job" in a "real office" not a storage room!
• If I sit in the office, my clients have to sit in the doorway since there is not enough room for two!
• My home office has "standing room only!"
• I’d like to have conference calls without having to muffle my dog’s bark, my husband’s commanding voice, or the leaf blowers in the background.
• I need a full time assistant but there is no place to fit one unless it is under the day bed, or in the closet.
• The out of staters think 4 am calls are ok. I am on the west coast not the east coast.
• Working from home has limited my ability to really market my business in terms of recruiting independent sales consultants and offering a place for training.
• The UPS driver is tired of helping me chase my dog and cats who escape out the door during my deliveries.
• The cat jumps on my keyboard & adds letters to my emails
• It’s too easy to climb back into bed
• My home office is often like a circus - center ring lady talking on phone, changing diaper while children perform death defying feats all around.
• Oprah! Why did God invent Oprah…How are we supposed to work when Oprah is ON!!!
• There are days where I realize at 4pm that I never got out of my pajamas
• My Starbucks office is encroaching on my profits.
• having relatives drop in on you, just to hang around "since you don’t have a real job"
• having to convince your neighbors that your not a drug dealer or a fugitive.
• Sharing my office with over night guests (You don’t mind if I put my underwear over your printer, do you? The lights bother me)
• having my husband ask why I couldn’t pick up his dry cleaning because after all, I was home all day
• I am totally embarrassed when a package comes to the door for signature, and I still have "bed head!"
• It gets lonely working at home.
• I’ve been thinking about enrolling my dogs not in obedience classes, but in typing classes
• I have to yell "Phone!" really loud when the phone rings to make sure all TVs and radios get muted so I can answer it.
• I have started to refer to my pets as employees.
• I have started answering my home phone with my company name.
• It’s hard to cram 10 computers into a spare bedroom. Although I don’t need to turn on the heat in the winter.
• When potential clients hear that I work out of my home, they respond with "Oh, so you’re not a REAL business."
• When FedEx wants to deliver a package, they want to know if it’s a home or office. I always answer "Yes."
• My computer keyboard is so sticky that even CSI couldn’t peel off all the fingerprints.
• I’m losing my mind to a lack of human contact!
• If I can’t stand the office anymore I need to sell my home!
• Is the phone ringing for business or work, which way shall I answer the phone.
• There’s nothing like the toilet flushing, and screams for toilet paper, in the middle of a new client call!
• People may show up unannounced and I’m still in my pajamas
• 9-5 in a home office really means 24/7.
• Every time I reach for a paper clip, I find that my daughter has turned them into her dress up jewelry.
• I would love to have my dining room back.
• I have no home, My office has taken over my home
• I have to go out to eat to get a home cooked meal.
• I’m thinking I might have to paint a blue handicap parking space in my front yard.
• My four year old son, who is more computer literate than me, deletes my work frequently.
• Oh - Ellen’s on. I’ll get back to business after I see her dance. Maybe.
• I just love Dr. Phil. Gotta go…..
• “No Mom, I really do have a job and I’m still not unemployed.”
• “Sure, honey, I can run those errands during the day. No problem.”
• My home office is so small that I had to lose weight just to fit inside.
• It’s hard to sound professional on the phone when Mom keeps picking up the other handset and complaining that she needs to call Aunt Bessie.
• The air conditioning in my office has three settings: off, freezing, and airplane taking off in a dust storm.
• I could die here and no one would know
• I have two career outfits…clean and dirty.
• TV or Work? It’s hard to concentrate on business calls when Maury Povich is giving paternity test results in the background.
• "Dog barking? No, that’s my secretary, she has a bad cough today"
• Circumventing the dreaded "so, where’s your office exactly?" question.
• After work, I take off my uncomfortable bra and throw it on top of my desk. Usually a client shows up at this time.
• My two dogs are okay receptionists, but they refuse to speak English. They tell me freedom of speech applies to all species.
• My 15 year old daughter says she is "so over" answering the office phone when she gets home from school.
• My wife has given new meaning to the phrase "You are in the dog house". Frankly, I didn’t realize it was so comfortable.
• I long for the day that I can have a receptionist to tell my mother in law that I am in a meeting.
• My friends think that ”I work from home” is code for ”I never miss Oprah” or ”I lounge and pop bon-bons all day”.
• the refrigerator door hits me in the head if its opened while I’m at my desk.
• Your eight "co-workers" are armed with super-soakers.
• my home office is a walk-in closet/office
• The county cited me for working out of my home and it cost me a $350 fine.
• It’s difficult to build client trust while wearing house slippers.
• My dwindling purchases of razors and deodorant is adversely affecting the U.S. economy
• Oprah and Doctor Phil are my best advisors.
• when my customers realize I work from home they negotiate for lower prices because they think I have no overhead.
• My workday never ends
• Need to hire an assistant. Am afraid I would lose her in clutter. WANTED: Creative assistant to WORK STANDING UP in busy design office.
• To gain additional space, I have attempted to create additional filing space with a plastic shoe bag hanging from the ceiling. Creative yes. Classy no.
• Going to a real office makes you feel like a real grown-up.
• When I’m at work, I’m at home. When I’m home, I’m at work
• I need to wear sunglasses when I come out of my dark dungeon office.
• "Home office" is an oxymoron.
• I have to fight with the dogs to see who gets to the door first when UPS arrives?
• The "office" has spilled into the extra bedroom, the extra closet, the extra garage. No more extras!
• I never get to burst in the door with "Honey, I”m home" because I always AM home!
December 26th, 2005 at 4:39 am
These are CLASSIC! Thank you for posting them. GREAT reminders for anyone who’s worked at home…BEST for anyone who’s thinking about it…PERFECT for levity.