Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

Yes, we are just launching http://www.showtheworldyoururl.com where we offer people a FREE slot in our new Internet Video Business Directory. I would be curious to know if you understand what we are offering and how it works as we are finding people that just don`t seem to have read all through the page.

Thanks,
Hugh Simpson
Co-founder


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NO cost 11 week e-course on Internet Marketing that my business associate Paul Miller and I developed from our over 13 years of success at http://www.shirtpocketmillionaire.com.

Decent copywriting but far too many words. I don`t think very many people will read that entire page because of the word count.

Break this up into multiple pages.

Just a quick note. There are 1012 words on the landing page.

The style is very hard sell and pushy. Might want to tone down a bit.

Yeah, I actually had a hard time reading it. I read the first paragraph but
lost interest. Most people simply don`t want to take that time to read a
pitch to them. I`m not interested in video ads but if I should be, you
didn`t explain the value to me from the start. I don`t really know what
else to say because I didn`t really read it. But maybe that`s "saying" a lot.

Here`s the link as a click: "Show the World"

My gripe is that there`s this big statement in the middle of the page, "Don`t tell `em, Show them!" But the whole page is all about my being told...and not shown anything. Seems like a bit of a contradiction....?

CraigL,

I have to agree with you. You learn to tell them what you are going to tell, tell them, and then tell them what you told them. I think information scattered with no true flow. People will start asking themselves why should I give this person my information if he is not giving me a taste. The video needs some work. People perception would be that theirs will look the same. There should be a professional looking video or shorten the words, and the owner of the landing page do a presentation video.

I thought, why should I do it? Who`s really going to see my informational video there rather than on YouTube? I did read the entire page, but it was tough. I also agree with CraigL... You say, "show them." Then you tell it instead of show it. The example vids are fine, but I didn`t even finish watching the entire thing... Why? because the production was so poor that I lost interest. After all, I barely got through the copy...

Sorry to be so harsh. But that`s my honest opinion.
I think much of my complaints can be corrected.


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Vincent Wilcox (a.k.a. KRAKR)
Drummer
My band: Letters Make Words

The "internet marketer" format of the page really turned me off. I took one look at the length and all the words and just didn`t feel like reading all of it! It follows the same format as all internet marketing pages ... too much sales pitch, too many words, not enough "what`s it in for me", takes too long to read, kind of goes all over the place.

Short and sweet? And yes, put a video up there of yourself talking about it.

Make that a short and sweet video!