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Yep. Looks like I`ll be cooking more now. I`m going to watch closely those shows on the food channel and learn their techniques.

I might be starting a fire outside tomorrow though. Supposed to get real nasty here with the ice and rain.

Dan

Maybe you could be in charge of the outdoor grill, and your wife in charge of anything involving indoor flames? At least with a grill and open flames, you have those flames as a sort of "warning signal" that you`re dealing with something that might soon start to smoke? :-)

I may end up doing that. At least with the grill, I know there is supposed to be smoke.

I just have to learn how to operate that darn thing. It`s got so many switches and knobs and doo-hickies that I`m afraid the wrong switch may send it orbiting in our stratosphere.

Ahh. May have to resort to the old fashioned charcoal grill. At least with that, I can`t blow much up.

Dan

Dan,

That`s why I don`t use my gas grill -- I`m afraid of blowing it up!  However, now you know how I feel about underneath the hood of a car.  Entirely too many doo-hickies and whoozywhatsits and thingamajiggies to deal with.  But, now that my car is 16 years old and the new one will be here in a few more weeks (so they say), I found out where to put more coolant!  Okay . . . so maybe this post really belongs in StagNation!  

Meanwhile, Dan, most of those knobs are labeled or have pictures showing what they do.  I did actually show the parents of a friend how to use their oven (they had never used it because they couldn`t figure out how to turn it on). . . push the Bake button and then the + or - button (also sometimes labeled "More +" or "Less -") for those of you suffering with these new fangled ovens.

jillybeans

Hi Jillybeans,

Yep. Those new fangled ovens will be the death of me. My wife is allowing me to break in slowly. She`s asking me to do simple (or not so simple to men like me) tasks in the kitchen to get me in a little bit at a time. Don`t know if you`ve been in the cooking class post or not but there, you`ll be able to see a full fledged meal I`ll be preparing her for valentine`s day (ALL ON MY OWN!!!!).

Can`t wait to post a progress report on that one. I`ve got very explicit instructions so I shouldn`t mess it up.

The only thing is, finding my way around the grocery store to get those items. They should have an emergency person available for me when I walk in to walk around the store with me showing me where the stuff is. I might spend hours looking for the ingredients. lol.

Dan

An oven isn`t any harder to use these days. In fact, it`s usually larger. You still bring in the kindling and some newspaper, a couple of logs, and build a fire inside it exactly the way they used to do years ago. At least that`s what I do, anyway, and I`ve had no problems at all.

I found, at first, that the smoke detector was a great timer, and would tell me when the oven was ready for cooking. But I eventually disconnected it because I couldn`t set if for a few minutes like I can with the VCR or microwave oven.

Most recipes are also simple. Cook for 1 hour at either really hot or kind of hot.

My motto is, if it ain`t dehydrated, it ain`t worth eating.

Call me spoiled from the military foods but the convenience of add water or with the MRE`s, add water to the carbon cooker and you are off like a herd of turtles. It takes generally 7-10 minutes for the heater to heat up and cook the package all of the way through.

Then you have all of the little extras in there too. Usually an entree with a side dish. These can average corned beef and hash to potatoes au gratin. Not sure about spelling. Then you get a beverage base powder for your pleasure. Don`t expect grape. It`s usually lemon lime and nasty. There`s not enough sugar in the world for that one. So stick with the coffee in a pinch.

They do offer creamer and sugar if you don`t like the coffee too strong. Then there are your crackers and spread (usually peanut butter or jelly but sometimes cheddar cheese spread). The peanut butter is greasy but digestable. The rest are great. I used to amaze people when I was selling the individual componants of an MRE by picking up the pack of crackers and knocking them against my knuckle. It sounded just like they were made out of  ceramic. Then I`d straighten a corner out and toss it at a piece of styrofoam in the corner. It`d stick. Then I`d just open it up and let the customer sample it. I usually sold 10-12 packs a day like that.

Don`t ask how I demonstrated the TP. Not the way you are thinking but it may not be for the faint of heart here.

Then you usually had a desert cookie or cake. The pound cake is excellent but the cookie bars are lacking in flavor to anything edible. The oatmeal cookie bars used to be in high demand but those have stopped being produced. Go figure. Something everyone loves and they stop it.

And to top it all off, you have your candy which can range from a larger tootsie roll to a tube of charms hard candy (favors Jolly Ranchers in taste only but shaped like a Vick`s cough drop).

Now don`t think the military hasn`t got a sense of decency. They have a condiments package which comes with the meal containing your salt, pepper, sugar, creamer, and baby bottle of tobasco sauce. The tobasco sauce helps kill the taste of anything.

If you wanted a real treat in the field, you just all hand over you cocoa, sugar, creamer, and coffee. You mix these four ingredients together in the cocoa pouch, add a little water and set the pouch on fire. The inner pouch is made of aluminum so won`t burn all of the way through but the outer part is made of plastic. So it burns fairly well. By the time the flame goes out, you have what has been termed, "The Ranger Brownie". A rare treat for those who enjoy it.

Next week, we`ll teach you about putting on the dog by serving up spaghetti with meat sauce. Great for the times you invite your friends or family over for that overnight patrol.

This is Dan saying, keep your head down, your socks dry, and your belly full.

Dan

Dan, have you considered opening a restaurant based along the lines of these menu items? I`d assume your food suppliers would be surplus depots and the like? It sounds as if you`d have limited issues with kitchens and employees, so it sounds like a money-maker. Additionally, you wouldn`t have the ordinary problems of figuring out what to pre-cook, based on what people were in the mood to eat on any given day.

Potential names for the place would be "Dan`s Foxhole," "Dinner on the Runs," and many other enticing and welcoming names. For those in to cooking, you could offer your menu as a "take-out" option, offering busy moms and dads the opportunity to spend quality time with the kids, cooking a meal together. Ya think?

You know Craig,

It`s not as crazy as it seems. I have considered opening a "military" theme restaurant.

It would be similar to the chow hall on the bases and offer a standard menu per day in a lunch line (cafeteria) atmosphere. You could order up MRE`s and we`d prepare them for the person wanting a little "food from the front".

As you say, order it to go. (Of course I would offer the menu in authentic MRE`s or the MRE meal style) due to the fact, you`ve got to have some hardened taste buds for those dinners sometimes.

All wait staff would be required to wear the "uniform of the day", be it woodland camo, desert, ACU Digital, but it would always be the BDU`s (battle dress uniforms).

You would present your order to the waitstaff by shouting the order to them and be presented with an honest to goodness OOOORRRAAAHHHH on your birthday.

Jeez. Where do I get these ideas. I`ve tossed that one around for quite a while. Only problem is, financing. That`s always the first hurdle to overcome. I`ve got the location. Just need to lease it.

Dan

And like that restaurant I think...in Kansas...if someone was rude or didn`t order nicely, one of the wait staff could put a couple of rounds in the wall above their shoulder? :-) Okay...at the restaurant I have in mind, they just throw a roll of bread at you.

Also, if customers were too quiet in their ordering, a drill sergeant could come out, hat pulled over their eyes, and scream at them! "You want WHAT? Did I hear you? No I Did Not! Speak your order now! WHAT? Didn`t you mean to say `Please SIR?!`"