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themerrybird

posts: 73

Jul 10, 2007 7:31 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Please Critique my website! www.themerrybird.com

 

The Merry Bird…pen, ink and design

 

Allow me to fly in and drop an artistic feather in your possession.  Holidays, weddings or any special day that you may have a need for a unique invitation, The Merry Bird… will create, construct, custom print or hand draw pen and ink images especially for you.

 

Whether it’s a formal or casual occasion, how wonderful it is to send a unique card or invitation, and how thrilling it is to receive one!

 

Fly in to view The Merry Birds new Bridal Invitation line this September.

Videography

posts: 672

Jul 10, 2007 11:31 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Overall, I like your site.  The red background is a bit harsh, but that`s just me.

Your animated logo should be much smaller because the motion is distracting.  Finally I absolutely hate crawling text.





-------------------------

Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email


nhgnikole

posts: 2660

Jul 11, 2007 2:12 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I agree that the scrolling and flapping is distracting rather than helpful.

I really like your product ... I just think you need some copywriting work to be able to express that better. You are not getting across what makes you uniquely you on the front page. Also, why use a flapping bird? I`d put the cards on the front page!
CraigL

posts: 9051

Jul 11, 2007 4:22 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Definitely needs help in the copywriting department. Try to avoid referring to yourself as "The Merry Bird" knows this, does that, and so forth. Just use "We," and you`ll be fine.

Too many font changes for my taste, and the animation doesn`t help sell the product.

I`d rather see a number of examples right on the front page, along with the better copywriting. Maybe consolidate the navigation bar into something like "Browse our Products," then use sub-headings for each type?

Move the "Card Services" to the bottom, so people get a sense of what you can do first. Then see if they`d like you to design something.

The sample writing not only doesn`t sell "pen and ink" stylization, it overruns itself (Firefox 1.x). If you`re selling hand-written styles, have images not plain Web text.

Overall, the "customer journey" is confusing, and the "call to action" is weak.

Think of it this way: Suppose you sell beautiful flowers, plants, and garden designs. One way is to have a big, brick building with lots of plants and flowers on shelves. Someone comes in, looks at what you have and points. "Sell me that."

The other way is to have a peaceful and beautiful garden, laid out with pathways, water, fountains, and birds. You *invite* the customer to walk through the garden, where there are discreet signs on many plants as to their name, and that they can be purchased. At various locations there are small pads of paper, with pencils so that a customer can write down the number of a particular plant they might like.

Which way do you think would be more enticing?
CraigL2007-7-11 4:23:4
themerrybird

posts: 73

Jul 11, 2007 6:32 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Thanks for the insights everyone, always room for improvement.

Steve, what is "crawling text"? I really have no clue.... does this have to do with the copy on first page or keywords that help site crawl the web?

Ok, I love my flapping bird! It took five drawings to put that into an animation. It also shows my style of pen and ink, stippling. I never heard the bird was distracting but I see that it could be...my thought here is for the viewer to remember the Merry Bird -humming bird, dipping a quill (bird beak) into the flower (ink). Too Abstract?

I agree that I could put a product on the home page, it makes it clear to others what I do, exactly.  I`ll have to think about that....

Re: Copy - there is a problem with the font view for many. From my pc all the fonts are the same except for the Title fancy font and headings. I think anyone that doesn`t have the particular font on their computer will see whatever is the standard font they have, anyone with a millenium Dell can see what I see. But This is an issue for me since fonts are important to my business.

I`m not sure what you mean CRaig about over running stylization. I do like the visual example of entering a garden...and having signs that point the way. I can use that at some point.  I`d love to fly about the "flat" surface is....

Glad you all shared your thoughts! Thank you!

 

 

Videography

posts: 672

Jul 11, 2007 10:39 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Steve, what is "crawling text"? I really have no clue.... does this have to do with the copy on first page or keywords that help site crawl the web?



Any text that moves horizontally across a page is called a "crawl".

You have at best five seconds to grab a viewer`s attention.  Why waste it on a ten-second crawl?




-------------------------

Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email


CraigL

posts: 9051

Jul 11, 2007 3:37 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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A Web browser only shows text in whatever typeface-font happens to be available on machine used by the person who`s viewing the page. Ergo, if you choose a font that doesn`t exist on someone else`s machine, the browser will substitute with a "best guess." So what looks one way on your machine, likely looks different on mine unless you choose a "globally available" font.

If you want a font to look exactly the way you have it, you`ll have to put it into a graphic image. Then the viewer`s browser simply downloads the image and displays it. But in that case, search engines can`t read whatever is the text in that image.
themerrybird

posts: 73

Jul 13, 2007 6:52 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Steve, I see the "crawl" now.... I`ll change the speed of the moving text! I never thought about the view of it with -"in seconds" .

Thanks Craig.  I knew about putting the font into graphic image. On The home page above the flying bird is the words The Merry Bird...pen, ink and design which I put into a graphic image, I hope it comes across to the viewer in Vivaldi and copperplate light.  Globally available fonts ruin everything! LOL No fun!

I hope everyone else`s machine "guesses" a good guess font until I figure out which global font works best for me...

Thanks for the repsponses guys!

Videography

posts: 672

Jul 13, 2007 10:53 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Steve, I see the "crawl" now.... I`ll change the speed of the moving text! I never thought about the view of it with -"in seconds" .


My suggestion was to get rid of the crawl - all moving text - altogether.  It serves no purpose and draws your eyes from the main part of the page.

In my opinion, moving text looks amateurish.

Steve Mann


-------------------------

Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email


themerrybird

posts: 73

Aug 12, 2007 8:10 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hi Steve -

ok - moving text - amateurish -

Any suggestions on what to use to draw the viewer to the idea the moving text is trying to capture? Moving text is to draw attention to the idea suggested so there is a Purpose!!

 

 

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