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If you were investors, please be kind enough to respond everyone, would this summary convince you to invest.  If not, please all readers tell me why not!!!! It was deflating that so many people read, but did not give feedback, as I desperately need it.  I am presenting this to potential investors, so please help me all who look at the post, be brutal if necessary, but critique.

 

I.                     Executive Summary:

 

1.0  Executive Summary:

 

Caterina Fashions & Beauty Is Committed to and believes in certain points, which is the reason for the Ayurveda Dreams line, other organic lines to follow, and the acquisition of one or several VLCC Ayurveda Wellness Center frachises.

 

·                            A healthier and health educated citizenship means a healthy and more productive workforce and citizenship.

·                            Research has shown that many, even so called natural and even some organic products have ingredients that can cause great long term damage with continued use.

·                            Prevention is less costly to employers, saving an average of just over $200 per employee.

·                           Knowing the above and the dangers of pharmaceuticals, we must steer citizens to a much healthier life and lifestyle.  Ayurveda I believe is the way to do it.

 

The firm will through its’ products and the wellness centers reach out to offer low cost, non toxic quality beauty products, and wellness packages to individuals, companies and unions.  We will seek to also further promote this by working with other programs and through philanthropy to make this accessible to as many people as possible while still maintaining a solid profit.

 

The firm seeks funding in the ballpark of $1,600,000 to cover us for tw0 years.  Exit strategies include Public Offering, Sale of Parts of the Company, and Franchising, besides the VLCC franchise, India.  On the Ayurveda Dreams line alone, Infoworx, who will be taking care of the infomercials and related projects revenue of almost $9,000,000 the first year.

 

 

 

Katherine

Your executive summary goes right to details that are completely foreign to me.  Unless your investors are friends and family that have a great deal of context around what you are trying to say, you need to reorganize the information.  I am no expert, but I suggest using the following outline which I am blatently stealing from "The Art of the Start" by Guy Kawasaki...

Problem
Solution
Business Model
Your Underlying Magic
Your Marketing and Sales
Competition
Your Management Team
Your financial Projections and Key Metrics
Your current status, timeline, and use of funds.

 

Yes, I found it very confusing. It wasn`t until the third paragraph that I
understood that you were even talking about beauty products and
wellness centers. What is VLCC? (Maybe I should know.)

Does your business already exist? Do you already have products? What
stage is it at?

Why should I care how much Infoworx made in a year? I want to know
how much YOU will make in a year.

Also, I found the grammar to be sub-par causing it to be difficult to
follow.

And I agree with Casavalridge, it needs some structure.

It`s a service business => it`s pretty hard to find VC for it.  Angels don`t normally invest over 500K-1M.

Other than that, Kawasaki`s suggested format is pretty standard.

Also because of new service business concept, revenue stream may be iffy?


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