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I just redesigned my website and i`m looking for some feedback....
Stan - works for me - nicely done. You do need more samples - the radio station samples just seem like a natural for them but to me, doesn`t show a true business environment situation. I would have liked to have heard some samples of real businesses -even if you don`t have clients yet, fake it. I have to say, the enthem for your company didn`t make me go WOW ... sorry, but that`s the truth.
You have a good idea and good luck on this venture.
R@
It looks pretty snazzy. Pretty much to the point for me as well.
Dan
Great site. Clear Crisp. Great product and every ordering option included!
Erin
Well done. Fair-to-good copywriting. Very nice design. Some of the writing on the pages is informal and a bit amateur ... but I doubt most people would notice. Your writing uses too many commas and not enough white space.
On the landing page, you might want to increase the size of the call-to-action button. Increase the size of the text as well but don`t make it larger than the headline.
On the "How It Works" page ... well, nine steps is nine steps. Do you think you can reduce it to three steps? Is it important that the visitor know about each of the nine steps? Nine steps seems complex and involved ... three steps doesn`t. If you can`t simplify, then use more white space so the words and paragraphs aren`t as crowded. Increase the size of the call to action button on this page as well. Earlier I commented about "informal" or "amateur" writing. EX: Step 6 ends with "or what have you." That`s informal, amateur, a bit sloppy. Nothing wrong overall but some tightening would be a good idea.
I think you should make a few simple modifications to the "About Us" page. If you only follow one of my suggestions ... follow this one.
Remove the language that says "Good Question. Allow us to begin by telling you who we aren’t. We aren’t some fly-by-night, disreputable organization out to steal you blind." Just use the part that says "We’re actually a very respectable business — hey, Fortune Small Business, ABC News, Crain’s Detroit Business, Broker Universe, National Public Radio and a whole slew of other upstanding organizations have even done feature stories on us."
It is a huge mistake to use negative language. Why on earth would you want to even put some of those ideas into the heads of your visitors? Remove the negative language. It gives off a totally bad vibe. It`s almost like you`re repeatedly saying "trust me, trust me, trust me." Actually, nothing you can say will "make" anyone trust you ... testimonials help ... and your press coverage helps ... but remove the negative language ASAP.
Also. Your "About" page should be simpler. Most people won`t bother to read the entire page. Do you know how many words there are on that page? If you want visitors to read the page, you`ll have to reduce the word count. I read the page as part of my critique, but most people won`t bother.
More information language is found on the "Contact Us" page. EX: "Just shoot us an email".
Still, you`ve done a really good job. Overall, I really like the friendliness and directness. It`s pleasant and definitely impressive. Your marketing is way above average. It`s good even.
Thanks for the feedback!
I`m pretty new to this forum (actually this is my first day), so i didn`t know what to expect with responses. I`m going to take all of the responses into account. I`ve already taken out the negative wording on the about us page, lol. (thanks cookiemonster).
keycon, what exactly turned you off about the enthem for enthem.com? I wanted to use an upbeat rhythm since this is a somewhat new concept.
Stan - it didn`t "turn me off" - it just didn`t WOW me. After reading your site, I wanted to be WOWed. But this is just one man`s opinion. I really would like to hear some samples for various businesses and I believe potential clients would, too. Example: a song for a tool rental company like Northern or a supplier like Grainger. How would that sound?
As a marketing guy, I want to say CM`s comments are dead on. He has given you some excellent advice and made astute observations. The negative words also surprised me.
Keep us posted and Welcome!
R@
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