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cdbartwork

posts: 210

Jul 10, 2008 9:12 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Colleen


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Colleen Dougherty Bronstein Designs
Sun Safe Designer Clothing
http://www.sunsafedesignerclothing.com
http://www.bronsteinartwork.com

Videography

posts: 672

Jul 11, 2008 12:32 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hello again Colleen.

Again, the home page does little for me - it needs a few images of your products.  You can put some of the editorial on another page, something like "Why SPF Clothing?".  You have a great hook in the first paragraph, your <H1> could be something like: "<H1>One in five Americans Will Develop Skin Cancer</H1>" followed with a subheader: "<H2>One of Ten of them Will Die!</H2>"

Then give the highlights of your product and why it is different.  You hide too much information relevant to your USP in your "About" page, for example, a diagnosis of Melanoma doesn`t mean that you can`t enjoy life outdoors.





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Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email


vwebworld

posts: 1237

Jul 11, 2008 8:23 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Fear marketing
There are a number of choice on how to market your product. Your home page is all about skin cancer - so, you are marketing your product through "fear" which is certainly a strong motivator. If your target market is only people who have a concern with skin cancer, that might be an effective marketing tactic. However, your are also selling clothes... maybe the design, quality, feel, "look" of the clothes is something that should be noted as well.
 
Even though you`ve made cancer prevention your main marketing tactic, you do need to get your product in front of the viewer immediately... should be on the home page as Steve said. When I first saw your home page I was wondering what it had to do with University of Pennsylvania (because that`s the only image on the home page).  The internet is a visual medium.. viewers scan a web page and see pictures and headlines first.
 
Site design Your site`s colors are dramatic, the background color is almost hard on the eyes. If the background was more muted, the color of your logo and the sites content will show up better. I think the background color detracts from the content.
 
The size of your text is rather small and is specified so a viewer can not increase it even if he/she wanted. You might consider increasing the font size.
 
The text at the bottom of the site has an error: Copyright © 2008 .
 
Product images - the images are also a little small (maybe it`s my old eyes)... but you do have room to increase the image. I think it would be great to show your products on real people.
 
Privacy policy - there is some information missing on your privacy policy page.
 
10% discount - you mention a 10% discount, but I do not see how a buyer can get it. Do they need to email you?
 
~Roland
 
 


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Web Design | Best Beef Jerky | ecommerce articles | Follow vwebworld on Twitter
cdbartwork

posts: 210

Jul 11, 2008 8:58 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Roland & Steve:
 
Great points. I will take each one and make adjustments. One problem I may have is that I don`t think I can put 2 images on the front page, I originally had clothing on the front page. This changed due to U of P and I teaming up and I thought this was a critical addition to the site. Any thoughts on that?
 
The clothing does have to come alive on real models, that has been a challenge; trying to get family members schedules to match up and the background which I wanted at the shore. So, definitely working on that.
 
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate your insight.
 
Colleen


-------------------------

Colleen Dougherty Bronstein Designs
Sun Safe Designer Clothing
http://www.sunsafedesignerclothing.com
http://www.bronsteinartwork.com

houseofjerkyjanie

posts: 1150

Jul 11, 2008 9:02 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hi Colleen,
 
The web guys gave you some great advice.  But I just wanted to say I love what you`re doing making this type of clothing available to others.  What a creative idea.  I do agree, you need to show the items better.  Real models would be great. Could you get other cancer survivors, with their story, to model??
 
Good luck with your venture, and take care!
 
Janie
houseofjerkyjanie7/11/2008 9:06 AM
cdbartwork

posts: 210

Jul 11, 2008 9:26 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Janie:
 
I love your idea about getting other cancer survivors to model and their stories for the website.
 
I have been asked to work on the program for the Abramson Cancer Center`s Melanoma Conference held annually in May, my suggestion was a fashion show and that is exactly what I have planned, having cancer survivors or family members of cancer patients.
 
The website is a labor of love and I will keep going back in and tweaking.
 
Thank you for your great suggestion.
 
Colleen


-------------------------

Colleen Dougherty Bronstein Designs
Sun Safe Designer Clothing
http://www.sunsafedesignerclothing.com
http://www.bronsteinartwork.com

Webline

posts: 687

Jul 11, 2008 4:11 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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For me, the main page is confusing. On the left, I get your logo and clothing links. On the right, I get a message about skin cancer. So I`m not sure which message I`m supposed to get; that you sell clothing, or you`re sharing cancer information?

I think the key for you is to find a way to get both messages across in a simple and quick way. You`re trying to inform and sell at the same time. In a nutshell, "Here is the problem and here is a solution". Not always an easy thing to do.

Your "about us" page should be about you and your business. Put your shipping/sales information on it`s own page where it can be found easily.

I realize that this is really a specialty clothing, so I expect your prices to be more than standard comparable products. I think that if you had a page with more information on how the material works and how much of a benefit it really is compared to standard clothing, it would make a big difference.

Visually, the red background and blue text are hard to look at for long. Try some additional color combinations to see what looks good and is easy on viewers eyes.




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M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons


cdbartwork

posts: 210

Jul 11, 2008 5:01 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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M Hall:
 
Thank you. I like your idea about the specialty clothing and adding more information on how the material works and how much of a benefit it really is compared to standard clothing.
 
Someone else mentioned the color of the site, so I will have to make some adjustments.
 
Looks like I have some work to do on the "here is the problem, here is the solution."
 
Again thank you for your input, I really appreciate the feedback.
 
Colleen


-------------------------

Colleen Dougherty Bronstein Designs
Sun Safe Designer Clothing
http://www.sunsafedesignerclothing.com
http://www.bronsteinartwork.com

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