New Topic
Post Reply
Follow Topic
a friend of mine sent me this link today and I loved it.
I hope you will enjoy this presentation as much as I did.
http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/wp-content/themes/179/ascho ol.html
Thank you, Meitzi.
This is really beautiful. As the mom of a very bright kid with significant learning challenges (who started 10th grade today), I can totally relate. The vast majority of schools today (both public and private) are way too focused on strict academic achievement, competition, and testing, and have forgotten that every child is unique and that we need to celebrate and build on each child`s strengths, whatever they are.
We are fortunate to have found a public alternative high school that does just that, but they are few and far between. Getting my son to where he is has been challenging, frustrating,crazy-making, time consuming - but most of all rewarding. Even at progressive schools here in the Bay Area we have had to fight for what is best for him and we have made lots of mistakes along the way.
My son may not be the straight A student going to Harvard, but who cares - he is healthy, interested in life, creative, able to think outside the box, his self esteem is in tact, and I know that he will find his niche and be a successful adult.
So let`s all remember every day to celebrate our kids for who they are and their own special gifts!
Sorry to be so long winded - just something I feel passionate about. I`ll get off the soap box now.
Lisa
I am totally with you on this! As you said, I also have made lots of mistakes along the way and I have to constantly remind myself to let him be who he is and love him for who he is. I was very moved by this presentation and thought I should take a moment to look at this often as a reminder for my parenting skill.
You are a wonderful mom, Lisa, and don`t ever apologize for sharing your thoughts!!
Lisa,
Your not alone. Unfortunately the education system, as a whole, is far from perfect. In many cases it doesn`t provide alternative education forums for multi-sensory stimulation which is ideal for kinestinic learners.
My child was labeled as dyslexic. Yet most people don`t know the educational struggles we have encountered because my teenager comes across as bright, articulate, and social. (The strength in social traits developed early in elementary school as a coping mechanism to avoid reading.)
Over the years, I have tried just about everything I heard of and could research: colored lens, optical therapy, and I have even hired a professional reading specialist to provide one on one tutoring...all of which was in addition to the typical reading at home, phonetics, etc. Unfortunately the progress was minimum and/or had no impact.
Over the years, we have encountered both good and bad educators and over time I came to believe as long as there is a breath in my body then it is not too late to see these circumstances change. That is why I am currently attempting to read "Why Our Children Can`t Read And What We Can Do About It" by Diane McGuinnes. This book was recommended to me by one of the founders of EBLI (Evidenced Based Literacy Instruction). EBLI is a literacy program which isn`t currently taught in higher education but is a combination of reading strategies.
Amazingly education comes in two forms: formal and experiential. It seems like as a society we place value on formal education but forget the value of experiential learning. Ironically sometimes the lessons we learn by experience produce more growth then any theory or textbook could ever convey.
This was fabulous. I can totally relate to this. I know my kids are unique and I love that, I thrive on them being different. I want them to be leaders not followers, so I encourage when they dress themselves even if its weird. One is 4 and the other is 2 and I constantly have people almost criticizing that my 4 year old is too hyper. I tell them that he`s full of energy and that I could only wish to have that kind of energy and then they tell me I`m right. Or my older sister swears that my 4 year old needs anger management, because when he`s frustrated he gets mad and either throws it or just cries. I tell her he doesn`t need anger management, that what`s her excuse for slamming the door shut when she`s p**ssed off
I think we need to allow our kids the freedom to express themselves according to who they are. I love this presentation because it makes me feel good to know that I try to do that daily, eventhough I have people criticizing, but thats okay...maybe their just envious
That was really nice! My 4-y-o has speech/cognitive disabilities (probably permanent) my 1-y-o has speech/cognitive delays. They are both super kids and I love them for who they are. Even though they both have issues, my gut tells me that they will be just fine. Dh and I are behind them 100%.
I didn`t so well in school really. I got As in art and music, and Bs in English, but was pretty much a C student, and got some Ds. I failed chemistry and one of my history classes. I had really low self esteem as a child and teen. My parents constantly told me I was stupid. Then when I got older (about 22 I think) I went through some vocational testing at a facility in FL and it turned out my IQ was in the 150s and I had the skill set equivalent of a person with a PhD. The testers were floored because I scored higher than anyone who had ever gone through there and even scored above all of the testers themselves. Go figure! 
It just goes to show you that academics mean nothing. I was just not interested in chemistry or history (although I would be now). I bet my kids are the same way, and I want to help them all I can. I wonder what I`d be doing now if I had only had the support of my parents, teachers and school.
Meitzi,
That is a terrific site. As a foster parent, I absolutely agree with the entire beautiful description of our children and the (pathetic) educational system. I am going to have to send that link to everybody I know. Thanks for bringing it to us. 
What I would like to say to all of you who feel you made mistakes . . . if you did the best you could with the information and resources you had, it was not a mistake. It might not have been the best way to do things or the best decision, but it was not a mistake. The mistake would have been made if you had better information or better resources or both and chose to do something less because of whatever reason (easier, financial, etc.) or because you kept doing the same thing and expected a different outcome, or if you just didn`t bother to try at all.
As to giving the gift to your child of being able to make a decision, even if it wouldn`t have been your decision, I applaud you. Letting a 4 year old choose clothes to wear is totally appropriate (whereas letting the same 4 y.o. choose to drive the family car is not). What confidence and pride that child has had instilled. Good for you! How will our children gain self-esteem and discipline if we don`t let them make decisions?
OK, I`ll get off my soapbox for a minute, at least.
Jilly
Thank you ladies for sharing your insights here!
Yesterday I contacted the site to see if I could translate the presentation to Chinese as you might know that most Asian family are hard on their children. I recently saw a rather, and this is in my personal opinion, disturbing commercial shown on one of the Chinese channels here. It started with a few kids playing basketballs then while one of them still want to play, the rest left saying they need to go to a cram school (where they can get more assistance to get higher SAT scores). Then it shows, "Do you want your child to attend Harvard? Do you want him to graduate from Yale? Do you want him to be a doctor? Do you want him to be accepted by Berkerly?" My lord!
One of my younger cousins, Sohpia, has been involved at cheerleading since junior high school. Her parents, my aunt and uncle, never let her take any gymnastics nor ballet classes. I was extremely proud of her when I saw her doing the flips and all that tricks knowing she doesn`t have any formal tranings before. This year she actually made the captain and will be leading the team. She also made to the Wind Ensemble - with absolutely no previous music lessons but just borrowed a baritone from school and practiced at home. I can`t even find enough words to praise her talent and her hard work. But not once, my aunt and uncle would go to the school concert, not to mention any cheerleading performance. All they nag her about is that " she had better get a high score in SAT or she has absolutely no future" - I don`t even want to make a comment to that!
Yesterday my mom asked my son, "Hey, are you your mommy`s best friend?" and my son said, "No, grandma. I am my mom`s best son!" Awwww, it made me so happy to hear him say that. He is and I hope he will always feel that way!!
My turn to get off the soapbox!! =)
Meitzi,
Thanks for starting this discussion!
A few years ago, when I still worked in higher education, I was at a meeting where a faciliator asked us who we would consider to be successful. Ironically the typical names: Donald Trump, Bill Gates, etc. were mentioned. However, one woman in the room said Mother Theresa. Suddenly silence loomed over the room then someone made a comment that Mother Theresa wasn`t successful she didn`t have any money. In that one statement that person`s vaules were revealed for they saw money and power to be the driving forces of success....Yet as the debate ensued the woman who saw Mother Theresa as successful supported her position by pointing out that many people had better lives because of the actions of volunteerism, kindness, empathy and emotional support which encouraged, lifted self esteem and had a broader impact then in ways money could ever touch.
Ultimately it is about what one values (education, money, or the edification of a human soul).
Post Reply
