Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

How many times have you, or someone you know, said something like this: "Well, it`s only a $5 sale...it really doesn`t mean anything. After all, it`s not like I can make a living off it, right?"

And how often do you or those around you nod wisely, agree, and shrug it all off? Do you realize how destructive those tiny little agreements can be to the overall creative process?

If we`re going to take things one step at a time, then anything that brings to a halt even one step is sufficient to close down the entire journey. To "limp" along, with each step getting more painful is only to prolong the inevitable failure, quitting, and end of the journey.

Consider two people: One is waiting with bated breath, biting fingernails, hoping for word that a $300-million piece of property will come through on their bid. The other is doing the same, pacing the room, waiting to hear if a $20 handmade baby blanket will sell the first time on their Web site.

How much adrenaline can a human being have? How much relief, joy, excitement, panic, fear? When the two people hear that yes, the sale went through, does the first person experience 15-million times as much joy and excitement? LOL! Of course not!!

Now consider a person who`s invested their life savings into starting a Gidget company. They`ve worked hard, done it all, followed advice, been brilliant, and had the business open for a year. Circumstances come along, and by the end of the year, they go out of business. People just weren`t interested in the Gidgets, despite the best efforts on the part of everyone involved.

Next to this person who just went broke, place a 3 yearold little girl who`s come home from the beach, only to discover that her favorite doll is among the missing. She knows she had it at the beach, but it`s been left behind. Does that little girl feel only some meaningless sense of loss, when compared to the Much More Important bankruptcy of the Giget company owner? Of course not!

To use relative measures on human emotions isn`t only ridiculous, it`s downright destructive! No amount of money or longevity can ever override the individual`s experience of WHY things are happening. It doesn`t matter at all how much money is at stake, how old someone is, how "important" is their business or experience in terms of the rest of the world. It only matters directly to the individual!

How many of us grew up in families where any time we had a personal victory, others reduced its importance because it wasn`t "important" on a relative basis? And how many of us have taken the time to contemplate what exactly is going on with "relative value judgements?"

Craig,

Don`t really know where this thread is going or what got you thinking about it ... I can tell you I grew up in a family of 6 with little money but lots of support - for that, I am grateful.

I know you are part of the SuN book club reading TAGR by Napoleon Hill. Once you finish that book, I recommend moving on to the original basis for that book, The Law of Success, also by Napoleon Hill.

Lesson 12 is entitled Cooperation. Any one who practices this way would never belittle anyone`s small accomplishments, they would encourage. Everyone is important.

Lesson 9 is Pleasing Personality. No one with a pleasing personality would belittle someone`s small accomplishments.

Lesson 6 is about Enthusiasm. It is the foundation for a Pleasing Personality. These people would never, ever belittle a small accomplishment..

I could go on.

I don`t know if my dad read these books ... he died way too young for me to ask. But he knew the lessons some how. He taught them to me and my brothers and sisters. After I discovered TAGR and LOS, it all made sense.

"If you must slander someone, don`t speak it - but write it - write it in the sand, near the water`s edge! ~ Napoleon Hill

R@

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Richard Arnold · Key Concept Writers · Business Communication: The "Key" To Success· Law of Attraction Blog · Life Ain`t Brain Surgery Blog

Richard,
You`re fortunate to have grown up in a family of support, regardless of the financial structure. Not everyone has that background.

I think it`s time for a real counter-offensive to a half century of relativism. I see the number of posts here on SuN from people who belittle their own ideas before even getting started. They believe that "in relation to" other people`s achievements, work, ideas, thoughts, or what-have-you, there`s no point to even getting started.

I read about the value of customer service, then wonder at some of the stories I hear. A customer could care less if your house burned down, your family died in an explosion, and your dog was run over by a bus. If they don`t get either their merchandise or a note indicating a delay, you lose the business.

Nobody cares, in the above customer service story, about the "relative" pain and suffering, and that terrible tragedy should be enough to "justify" special treatment. Not in a business situation, certainly, although from a compassionate empathy position, it definitely matters.

People believe that making value judgements on the basis of relative values is a psychological problem. Nearly 50 years ago, Ayn Rand wrote a book entitled, "Philosophy---Who Needs It?" She was laying out the target market for philosophy, talking about how and why everyone requires a philosophy.

Today, we could just as well have a book entitled, "Philosophy---Who Cares?" The fear of starting isn`t psychological, it`s a deep philosophic problem. The inability to state a concrete dollar amount you`d want to have by a certain date isn`t psychological; it`s philosophic. But relativism and pragmatism have been running rampant, unopposed for so long, nobody knows it`s at the heart of the problem.

This topic is a bid to have everyone contemplate for even a moment, how often they`ve fallen prey to the destructive and totally false premise of relative value. It`s to promote a moment of self-examination, to see how often we encourage such relative value determination by suppressing our own personal importance.

Why do people add a self-deprecating qualifier to what matters deeply to themselves? How often do people say, "Well, I know it`s probably a dumb idea, but I`ve often thought I`d like to have a business that offers such and such?" Why? Where does that insecurity, fear, and trepidation come from? WHO says it`s dumb? In relation to what, and according to what scale of measure? Most people don`t know...it`s just somehow true.

Fear of triumph isn`t psychological, it`s philosophic! But because philosophy has so successfully been sidelined in favor of "business" or "science," or "practicalities," people have been hobbled and don`t even know it`s taken place! That`s why I started this thread.

A clear example of relativism is in "outcome-based education," and in the stories we hear where "everyone`s a winner; everyone goes home with a trophy" at children`s athletic events. Total, utter bovine feces! But who would know, without the underlying philosophy?

Ethical relativism is one of the most profoundly destructive trends in modern society. Nobody talks about it, excepting here and there in odd conversations. But it isn`t a thing that "they" have to deal with, or "someone" ought to do something about.

The direct descendant of that sort of comparative evaluation is to put ourselves down in favor of some undefined, non-existent "other" who`s "need" is far more "important. That`s altruism in its most raw form---to sacrifice a high *personal* value to another`s need.The core of communism rests in the motto, "From those who Have, To those who Need!"

No matter how small a victory, it`s a personal victory, and never should be subjugated to what anyone else considers to be "more important." Your family apparently knew this, but many other families don`t support the concept. And in that way of living, they instill in the children a "fear to try" and worse, a "fear of success." That isn`t a fear; it`s a self-imposed withholding of effort.

Great post Craig. I forwarded my Executive Summary I just created for my new company to a few mentors and I received some excellent feedback including 2 who said it was the best they ever read. Both want to come to work for the company. Even though there was no monitary gain, too me it was a small victory that validated my project. I am finding you need those small wins until the revenue starts flowing to keep you going.

John


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Ah...and John has brought forward the crux of the post---the reason for the thread! It isn`t a small victory!! So why call it such? :-D

The validation to John of having two presumably solid individuals express a real desire to come work on the venture is a huge personal victory! It validates not only the idea itself, but the objective value of the overall concept. It`s no longer just some fanciful "dream" John`s having, that people can (and often will) say is unrealistic, a dumb idea, it`ll never work, and so forth.

People aren`t looking for approval, so much as validation that their mind actually functions in accordance with objective reality. There`s a tremendous difference of perception between a grandiose scheme, and an ambitious project. But how do we manage that perception?

Our blithe disregard for the absolute necessity and powerful consequences of validation has grown all out of proportion in today`s world. When Wozniak and Jobs gained access to an empty garage so they could work on the first Apple computers, was that a "small" victory? On what basis? According to what measure? Suppose they`d never been able to find a place to work on those prototypes?

When Thomas Edison found that carbon or tungsten filaments didn`t incinerate, after trying hundreds of other materials in his light bulb idea, was that a small victory? Is a "Eureka!" moment, a small victory? Archimedes noticed that his body displaced water in a bathtub, and that tiny observation suddenly provided the solution to a huge problem. But it was only a problem for him!

Out of that came an entire system of thinking about weights and measures. What does that mean, "a small victory?" I say it`s a destructive classification of an extremely powerful moment in anyone`s life as being unimportant, meaningless, and somewhat selfish.

We ARE the words we use! If we`re in the habit of self-deprecation, then we`re reducing our entire self and life to insignificant. To call things "small" victories is to remove Pride from our personal language. Without pride, we never will have confidence and competence, and have a terrible time in a competitive world.

Pride of accomplishment is perhaps the most powerful motivator of all things! People say we can`t motivate someone else, and I agree. So how do we motivate ourselves? By calling our personal accomplishments small and insignificant? I don`t think so!

We are the words we use.  This is a favorite of mine.  I have strong beliefs about word choice, and its great to be reminded to be aware of my words.  Thanks Craig, for your words.   Words do define us, and define our philisophical and spirtual lives, emotional and business.  I also have a peeve regarding self deprecating comments.  Its important to spread the victory, even if it is a simple thank you to a compliment. 

I feel entrepreneurship is a walk of Faith.  Through the humility of selling "vacumns" or "bibles"  door to door I have found grace.  The first check I collected for my invention reversible lined draperies came unbeknown to me through the wife of the gentleman I had pawned my jewelry to months prior for raw materials.  I have many victories that began with grace and gratitude from those who extended me credit when I ran out of jewelry to pawn.  I have paid off those who helped me in my desperate hours, and four years later I am opening my first hybrid store.  This is my victory, despite the anxious feeling of waiting on receivables, and new orders, and financing.  I claim my victory and trust the money will follow as it has done before. 

Monica Macha

owner www.drapecouture.com

 

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Monica Macha
Owner Drape Couture
One Drape-Twice the Style

That`s the spirit Monica ;-D

There`s a favorite line of mine from an old blues song, but I can`t remember the title of that song: "Been down so long, down beginnin` t`look like up!"

In my opinion, there`s nothing so sweet as that triumph of accomplishing something. It can be intensely personal, microscopically tiny, or otherwise, but so what? For the person who`s had a stroke and for the first time can speak a word outloud, is that a small victory? Absolutely not!

What about when IBM successfully caused the molecular structure of a microscopic bit of material to spell "IBM?" It opened the door to nanotechnology, even though it required an electron microscope to even see what happened. It also required an advanced degree in physics to understand the implications.

Not only are so-called small victories an affirmation of a human being`s capability to change reality, they also often are the "proof of concept" that open the door to stunning changes to all of history!

Who would have shrugged off A.G. Bell`s first transmission of words over a wire? His friends, or the guys down at the local pub? I can imagine the laughing jokes at the time, and the "so what?" jibes. But it wasn`t the "Watson, come here, I need you," that mattered. It was the proof of concept that humanity could at last transmit useful information electronically. And from there came the modern world of global communications.

Armstrong took a step off a ladder. So? Anyone can do that, as long as they`re not too drunk. What`s the big deal? Can you imagine the papers reporting the next day, "Neil Armstrong said today that although it`s really no big deal, he was able to walk around on the moon for awhile. He asked that we remind his wife to pick up his dry-cleaning, and he`ll be back in a week or two." ;-)