Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

 

I think that should stay on the first page because budding entrepreneurs love to know right away that the possibility is there.  I hate looking for where the service is, so having it on the first page is invaluable.  Just my 2 cents.

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http://www.startupnation.com/leading-moms-in-business/contestant/12907/index.php

BluePanther makes a good point. I think what I`m suggesting is that there`s the "overview" of services, which can be quickly done in few words, mostly bullets. Then there`s the expanded detail of the services.

The idea being get someone interested in even looking at services, right there. But don`t get all busy with lots of words and details *unless* they first have an interest. To better make sure they do have that interest, put the detail on another page, with a simple "Learn more..." kind of hyperlink in the summary.

Have submitted my first round of revisions. Should go live either today or tomorrow. I`ll be asking for critique on my site again after this round, so I`ll post when the changes are live. Thanks again for everyone`s input. 

Just one final [and egregiously windy] footnote regarding the concept of not wanting to "throw away" all that copy because you paid someone a lot to write it.

The "Sunk Cost" argument is a common, and often fatal, logical fallacy. It`s the same mindset that keeps people in a job they hate, and that is killing them bit by bit every day, because they invested so much time and money into their degree. The reality is, if you keep using something that doesn`t work because it cost you money to get it, not only are you out the upfront costs, but it keeps right on costing you money for as long as you keep it around by failing to do its job or otherwise hindering your success.

(Now, I`m not saying the copy you paid for is a loser - it could be pure gold for all I know. The only way to know that for sure would be a rigorous round of split testing or Taguchi testing. That`s not my point here. I`m speaking conceptually, not specifically.)

The trick is to learn to look at things like the copy you paid for or the degree you got as raw material from which you can mine whatever nuggets you need, as needed - or even use simply as a source of inspiration - rather than as a single-purpose, one-shot instrument that has to either be used as intended or not at all. In mastering this reframing, you create a cross-pollination resource pool from which to build success rather than winding up with a toolkit full of uni-tasker widgets that can only meet a tightly specified range of needs.

As an aside, as a copywriter I must admit that I cringe at the thought of some gorilla-handed client manhandling my painstakingly crafted gems of distilled brilliance. So, quite possibly, would yours. Tell us to suck it up and deal. It`s our job to give you what you ask for, and what you do after that is none of our beeswax, no matter how loudly we gnash our teeth. :-D

Ideally, copywriting would resemble the construction of a bespoke suit - you get the chance to know the intended wearer (website) of the suit (copy) and their needs (purpose, target market, layout, etc) so intimately that you know which side of the slacks to add extra ease into to account for the direction in which the customer "dresses" and to make the left cuff an inch larger to make room for the chunky watch he habitually wears.

In reality, it usually ends up more like being handed a handful of swatches and told to construct a suit to fit a client (website) you`ve never seen and about whom you only have vague and usually contradictory descriptions, and whose dimensions, activities and purpose may change several times in the process (with or without your knowledge).

Under these circumstances, copy - even custom created copy - is rarely a perfect fit off the rack. Adjustments need to be made...cuffs hemmed, shoulders padded, and so on. To avoid doing so because you`ve already paid for the suit is simply false economy.

Just some random and well-intentioned advice. I wish you the best of luck with your site launch. I can`t wait to see how it goes.

Cool term: "sunk costs!" I`d forgotten about it, but that`s exactly the right term. Excellent footnote, there Sonipitts! :-)

Very cool idea.  I like the website.  I found it very easy to maneuver but I`m a little lost....is it any college/university in any state?   Also, anything over $100.00 was realllllly expensive to me when I was in college and I definately relate to the "sniff test" - sometimes even money for the laundrymat was expensive.  I think it would be great if you offered gift certificates....did I miss that?   If I did, I apologize.  And if someone else already suggested it my apologies - I didn`t read the 6 pages of comments you received from everybody. 

Good luck!!


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JM

Hi Brilie!

I`m not sure if you have implemented changes to your site since posting your request but i love what i see, I think it great!  And as a mother of a child who will go to college in two years, I clearly understand your concept and content and would purchase your service.  My only question is, Who are you?  The "About" page is important to me when deciding to do business with someone online.  I want to see that the individual or company  is not hiding its identity.  I think your story is cleverly written but I still don`t know who are and would choose not to do business with your site for that reason. ~;o)

Otherwise, great site and concept!!

Bevla Reeves

www.hairconspiracy.com

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BReeves
founder & principal
http://www.HairConspiracyExtensions.Com

Pursue Your Dreams!

Bevla (et al),
This discussion continues in "Student Suds Revions Completed." :-) Kind of like a serial story....