delete the first 4 paragraphs on the home page. it takes too much reading to get to the most important point.
then split it up into 2 columns, one for students, the other for parents.
show the prices on the home page with a big button to the sign up page.
Put the humor in the FAQ section. Refine the humor. I didn`t find it very funny nor witty. But keep trying.
College List: Make the font color for the colleges darker, it has no contrast with the box background. Group this list by state, so the can find their college faster.
South Florida University
Indiana Univ - Bloomington
at the bottom of the colleges list, put a link to request this service at their local college. collect the data and then actively find someone to open a franchise at that location, using the "Proof" that there is a market.
Add a viral component, a way for student to email the site to friends. These could be email postcards, short funny videos about laundry, etc. Make it easy for them to spread the word.
You need a toll free number on all pages, up in the header, and on the contact us page. No one will buy it they feel that they can`t contact you buy phone to be sure you won`t steal they`re laundry. :-)
Change the SERVICES link to say PRICES. Keep it simple. Put "per semester" next to the prices - i.e. Light Plan-$239.99 / per semester
On the description of the plan, you need to indicate how often you will pickup. i.e. is this a daily pickup, once a week, every 2 weeks, etc. If I can get you to do my laundry every day for $240 a semester, you`re going to go broke trying. Put a link to the how it works page on the service detail page.
And simplify that how it works page. YUK. I don`t want to read all those jokes, I just want to find out how much fits, when you pick up, when I get it back, how much it costs, what do I do if I have a problem... Use graphic images to highlight each one of these major questions, and then have short but descriptive explanations for each. Don`t waste your readers time with jokes. Laundry is scary, personal stuff - not funny.
I hope you have the operational logistics worked out too. Webvan failed by promising before testing the reality of it, so be sure to have everything planned out first and do some test runs to iron out (get the humor) any problems... especially how to scale and get fast financing to grow if your idea becomes really popular really fast.
Good luck, sounds like a winner.