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I was thinking about funny stories today, don`t know why but I was.

My wife works for 911, so I get to hear some of the funny things (and the not so funny) that people call about!  Here is a few!

1. One night a man called from a pretty ritzy area here in Beautiful Central Oregon.  He was yelling that he needed the police, and was out of breath.  Immediately my wife dispatched all to heed the call for help all while trying to calm him down.  She kept trying to figure out if some one was inside the home threatening him or what.  After a few tries he finally stated, "I told you I need the police, my toilet is overflowing!"

As a 911 dispatcher, with life and death (literally) in your hands, what do you say to that?  I would say, Stupid moron call a plumber, but that cant be said and that it why I am not a 911 dispatcher.

2.  A lady called one day, she needed the police to visit her neighbor, their frogs were to loud and she was trying to take a nap!

We should all give a big round of  to the brave people that have to answer our calls for "help"!

Thanks hope to get some good stories on here so that we can all have a smile on our face sometime during the day!

Tony

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Tony Sorensen Performance Detailing www.performance-detailing.com info@performance-detailing.com tojealca@gmail.com

thank you for the story! it made my day

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This is a true story (I couldn`t have made it up!) I`m afraid I`m disabled, in that I have a totally literal mind. I`ve learned to compensate, seeing the humor in my own idiocy, but there`s always a slight lag between others seeing it and me.

I went to visit a new organic-type whole foods grocery store one afternoon. It was terrific, with all kinds of stuff not available in other supermarkets. This was a big chain, and prices were fine. So I thought I`d check the seafood section, being it was nice and fresh.

In the frozen area, they had various unusual products and others I`d seen before. One of the butchers happened by, asking if I needed any help, just as I picked up a box of frozen, battered cod.

Don`t ask me why, but in total and complete seriousness, to make polite conversation, I asked if this company was doing something like Paul Newman with his brand of products.

The butcher looked a little oddly, then asked me what I meant? So I expanded, thinking this product involved abused women, and some sort of charitable donation to organizations that prevent spouse abuse.

I`d apparently been listening to a commercial in the car about "battered women," and with both my literal mind and dyslexia coming from being lefthanded, just assumed this was a product involving abused fish!

The butcher scratched his head, and told me he still wasn`t sure what I was asking about. Then I realized in an epiphany of epic proportions, these were "cod, coated in a flour-and-egg-based batter for frying!"

Covering my confusion with the professional drooling I`m known for, I made my excuses and rushed off to some other section. But all the way home, I had images of the Gorton fisherman hauling 3-foot cod out of the Atlantic and slapping them around, just for the halibut!

Did anyone see the recent article where a police officer responded to a call then after leaving the woman called 911 back.  She told them it wasn`t an emergency but she requested they send the cute officer back to her residence. 

The article stated he did come back---to arrest her for misusing the 911 system.

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Nicole Champagne
Email: influencialexpectations@gmail.com
Cell: (734) 262-3730
Soar With Influencial Expectations!

I read that, couldnt believe someone would actually do something like that !

I saw that one too!  Pretty funny what people will do to the 911 dispatchers!

Here is another 911 story.  Here in Central Oregon, we have the Deschutes County Fair.  Not huge but it draws about 15000 people to it.  There is a limited amount of exits to leave the fair grounds.  People called 911 not non emurgency, 911 to say that they were stuck in the parking lot beacuse there was to much trafic!

 

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Tony Sorensen Performance Detailing www.performance-detailing.com info@performance-detailing.com tojealca@gmail.com

Here is a third party relayed true story.....

An officer in Detroit Michigan responded to a call where a drunk driver had crashed.  As the officer approached the vehicle the driver was slumped over the wheel.  The officer attempted to open the driver`s door but the door was locked.  The driver started to move so the officer knocked on the window.  The driver panicked when he realized an officer was at his driver`s window and he attempted to flee the scene. 

Observing the situation the officer decieded to have a little fun.  While the man pushed down on his gas pedal, the officer stood in place and pretended to be jogging along side.  The driver would look over and see the officer running along side his car and would give the car more gas.  This continued for a short period of time but eventually the driver gave up.  Upon arrest the drunken man asked the cop how he was able to keep up with his car.  The officer told the drunk driver, it was easy you were driving your car further into the pole. 

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Nicole Champagne
Email: influencialexpectations@gmail.com
Cell: (734) 262-3730
Soar With Influencial Expectations!

Great Story, spit coffee on myself!

 

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Tony Sorensen Performance Detailing www.performance-detailing.com info@performance-detailing.com tojealca@gmail.com

thats too funny

Here is one I remember.

A truck driver hauling a load of new cars had his lights on the truck go out in the middle of nowhere. He had the bright idea to turn on the lights of the first car on the truck which gave him enough light to get to the next town. As he was going down the road a car was coming towards and started to swerve all over the road and drove into the ditch. He stopped and went over to the car and asked the driver if he was O K? The driver who was obviously drunk, looked at him and said, I`m O K but if that other car was as wide as it was high, I would have been killed anyway. Hope you liked it.

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WESTNOVA