Sales page critique needed.

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Sales page critique needed.

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jjwcook

posts: 7

Jul 09, 2009 1:48 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Hello all,

Jimmy Cook here requesting a critique of the sales page I`ve put up leading to a membership in the Internet Marketing Video Training Center.

What I`ve decided to do is utilize various products that I own rights to and put them into a site teaching various methods, strategies and tactics to promote a website for profit.

Also, because of the tremendous volume of material that I`m offering, I`m using Amazon`s s3 service to store and Amazon`s cloudfront to deliver with efficiency and a service called ezs3 to manage the video players. My intent is to write a review of these services as I see how they work.

I am by no stretch of the imagination an expert in any area of Internet Marketing but I do know a bit about the basics and am looking for critiques.

This site is new and I am still in the process of uploading an enormous amount of material thus I am offering a "Grand Opening Special" before my self-imposed deadline of Sept.2 2009 to have it in full swing.

I am also very new to startupnation and have enjoyed exploring this forum because ... well ... people are straighforward, can actually spell properly and have some really good advice for those seeking help.

In addition, what I would like to do is offer free lifetime admission to 10 people in return for your honest appraisal of the contents, how it`s organized and how I can make it better.

What I would need you to do is go to my support desk at http://imvtcenter.com/support/

and send me a ticket requesting that lifetime access. I can`t promise that all that respond to this will get lifetime access because I don`t know what the response will be and I would like to keep it at ten people.

Also, I need one person who is willing to trust me to go through my sign-up process ($5/month) for two months to make sure that it works properly. I will forward $10 to them via PayPal once they are in. I am using aMember to control the paid membership site.

Well? Any takers?

Videography

posts: 672

Jul 09, 2009 3:01 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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I think that you need a smaller landing page with more graphics. Center-justified text just doesn`t look friendly enough to encourage the reader to look further. You rarely see it on the web and almost never on the web sites designed by experienced professionals.

With that, instead of a mile long page with a lot of video players, I would recommend that you have a brief description of each video and a jpg thumbnail from the video, then each video with a longer description on a separate page.

Never underline text on a web site - it looks like it should be a link.

You have too many colors of text. Yellow and red aren`t especially good for selling since they present "caution".

You also don`t have your main points in <H> tags, which is important to search engines.

Hope this helps.

-------------------------

Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email

jjwcook

posts: 7

Jul 09, 2009 8:18 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Thanks for the critique, Steve. Two schools of thought about landing pages. I`m also going to experiment with a squeeze page giving away a couple of informative videos like the Google Hot Trends video series that I give for free at my present page.

I really am missing the boat because I am not collecting email addresses. Working on it.

It`s kinda` funny, even with the enormous volume of videos I present within the membership area and the amount of info. within the videos, I`m still learning.

I like the thought of the jpg image with a short description linked to a seperate page with a full explanation and the video.

And, yes, the colors and underlining are probably hurting the site. Although red also signifies "pay attention."

May I ask in reference to your site why you don`t have any samples of your video work? Have you had commercials running on cable that you`ve done for clients? If so, sure would be a plus for your site.

Jarrod1937

posts: 85

Jul 10, 2009 12:13 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

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I`d feel better if i had some sort of site navigation to grasp instead of scanning endless lines of text to progress deeper into the site structure. If you`re selling something you need to have call to action elements in a page. These elements should be easy to see and find. Even worse you have a ton of videos in the way. Even if your product is videos, you don`t want to throw a billion at them right away. Again, that is what navigation is for.
Basically you want to present them with a call to action that is easy to see and find and has limited barriers to get to it. Then any additional info should be split and linked to by use of a site nav of some sort, if the user then wishes to explore further. Throwing everything at them all at once and burying the call to action elements is not the best strategy.

Videography

posts: 672

Jul 10, 2009 12:40 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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....

Busted!

Would you believe that I`ve been so busy that there hasn`t been any time?

Well, we moved to New England and I just got the business going in the last few months. In California I specialized in stage and theater performance videos, and only decided to go into business and corporate video after the move. So, I am building a client list as we speak.

-------------------------

Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email

Webline

posts: 687

Jul 10, 2009 1:11 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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In a nutshell .... at first glance it looks and reads like a "Get Rich Quick" advertisement .... personally it isn`t something I would take a serious look at.

Too many font and font colors make it inconsistent.

The copy sounds amateurish.

Lines like the following won`t create credibility, but may make it suffer ...

"Ain`t nobody givin` away their good stuff for free!"

"Guess a you what, jellybean! You`ve Landed! Right where you need to be!"

"There`s a REALLY BIG SURPRISE for you once you get to the signup page. An amazing bargain that you will not find elsewhere!"

Again, just my opinions .... but I don`t see anything to create a trust factor, or give a feeling of legitimacy ... not saying that you or your business is not legitimate, but your site doesn`t convey that to me.

-------------------------

M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons

jjwcook

posts: 7

Jul 11, 2009 5:36 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Hey Webline,

Thanks for the input. yeah, I`m not a copywriter by any stretch of the imagination. I guess that in my attempt to be personal I do come over as a bit flakey making trust a bit of a problem.

I guess a revamp is necessary. Shorter, more to the point and consistent text.

I do want to target the "Get Rich Quick" crowd. They spend. But, through much of my ramblings within the membership area, I state succinctly that there isn`t any such thing.

I think I`m going to create a simple squeeze page to capture email addresses and in so doing bring value to my subscribers by slowly introducing them to various introduction videos to the lessons that I have within the membership area.

I do have some really good stuff within the membership area. I`m going to stop being coy and state that the membership is $5/month. I think I`m making people jump through too many hoops to get to the sign-up page.

yeah, again, thanks for the comments.

jjwcook

posts: 7

Jul 11, 2009 6:39 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

Points: 0 Vote

Steve,

I do believe that you`ve been so busy that there hasn`t been enough time to add samples of your work to your site. Nothing happens overnight except another day to continue our work.

Another question ... Why move to New England from California? You don`t have to answer that. My sis used to live outside of Nashua NH ... loved visiting her. I lived outside of San Diego for a while, El Cajon, but got really homesick for the East Coast and moved back to Joisey.

My favorite part of the country is the Rocky Mountains. My bro lived in Buena Vista, Colo. and,WOW, was that ever beautiful out there!

This is such a beautiful country!

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