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Request for Critique for Duffle-Bag Depot`s Official Company MySpace Site (?)

 
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x3xsolxdierx3x

posts: 19

Jun 25, 2008 12:00 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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x3xsolxdierx3x7/5/2008 6:45 PM


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Duffle-Bag Depot
http://www.myspace.com/dufflebagdepot
x3xsolxdierx3x

posts: 19

Jun 25, 2008 12:02 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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x3xsolxdierx3x7/5/2008 6:46 PM


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Duffle-Bag Depot
http://www.myspace.com/dufflebagdepot
x3xsolxdierx3x

posts: 19

Jun 25, 2008 12:10 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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x3xsolxdierx3x7/5/2008 6:45 PM


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Duffle-Bag Depot
http://www.myspace.com/dufflebagdepot
CraigL

posts: 9051

Jun 25, 2008 11:29 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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:-) You don`t have to spend $150K on a Web site. You can, of course, depending on your budget and needs. On the other hand, you can do it for practically nothing if you want to learn the coding.

Then there`s the question of whether or not you know what you`re doing with graphics, layout, aesthetics, writing, and so forth. Each of those are skills, and not everyone is great in all of those areas.

I`m not thrilled with the site, as you`ll see below, but that doesn`t mean you failed or you`re a horrible person. It`s only that I`m commenting on what I see as errors of logic and emotional structure. They`re what I see in a quick look, and represent a number of questions some body of the population at large would likely have as well. So don`t take it to mean that you should shoot yourself in the head, okay?

I turned off the music, but I do understand that places like MySpace are geared toward younger folks (I`m 56). If it were a business Web site, I`d lose the music, but on a social networking site, I`m guessing it`s pleasing and makes it more fun.

Here`s your company profile, which I had to scroll to find. I`ve parsed it, putting the original in bold, and my comments in plain text:
"Duffle-Bag Depot" is the ultimate culmination of years of dedicated service, sacrifice, and research.
So what? NASA is the culmination of years of dedicated everything you just said. So`s the Catholic church. It doesn`t tell me what the company is, does, or offers.
Our company is located within the heart of Pennsylvania and is proud to be Veteran-owned and operated.
Great; I`m proud too. I`m not in Pennsylvania, and have no idea why this matters. Is there a relationship between Pennsylvania and the military...or veterans?
It represents the synthesis of many, unique and diverse, collaborative forces.
Also great. You`re a synthesizer. In a politically correct world of ethnic sameness, I suppose that`s a point for you. It means nothing to me, though, and still I`m wondering what`s the company? This is supposedly a profile, right?
In order to bring you the best in products, we bring a powerful Team of prior, and current, military, devout military supporters, as well as, experts in marketing and business, to the table.
Last paragraph and I still have absolutely no idea what this is. It might be a business, could be a company...I dunno...there`s nothing on the page to explain anything. Something about products, but I couldn`t find anything about what products.

So here`s the deal: It doesn`t matter if you want to build a MySpace site or you want a business site. Certain principles apply, one of which is that you`re trying to attract interest, persuade someone of something, and accomplish a goal of some sort.

What`s your goal? Why do you have this site? I figured, looking at the name in the signature, that you`re a canvas product company, catering to campers and travelers, that you sell duffel bags. Going to the site, I still don`t know what you do.

But that`s not important. What`s important is I have no idea what I get out of the site---what you`re offering. What`s in it for me, in other words, see?

I see a banner for military survival gear, but it looks like it`s an ad from some other company. Do you sell anything?
Webline

posts: 687

Jun 26, 2008 6:09 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Pretty much what I was thinking. Talk about yourself less, talk about what you do/sell/offer more, and make what you do much more prominent.
Webline6/26/2008 6:12 AM


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M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons


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