Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

Hello all,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes...We are creating a commercial to be aired on local TV - 30 seconds. We would like you all to rate our script and give us any advice you might have. Here it is:

Sometimes even the best equipment can breakdown, get attacked by virus', or malfunction when you least expect it.

When you sign up with My Tech Team, you get support and protection around the clock. Whether you have a software issue, or need help installing a new device, you can get help right away.

MyTechTeam technicians are highly trained, and locally based, ready to help you with all your computer needs. Getting the support and protection you need has never been easier or more affordable.

Get help right now at www dot my tech team dot net!

[Display Web Address, and Phone Number]

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Computer Support|Online Computer Repair|Online Tech Support

I would suggest a more catchy first line.  Maybe:

Is your tech equipment virus proof? Will it never malfunction or breakdown? Be prepared for the unexpected- Protect yourself with My Tech Team

I agree re the catchy first line but I would also do some hard thinking about what pictures or videos are going to be displaying with your voice over.  You want to be sure you attract all the people, both visually and aurally. So before you finalize the text I would also think about the video or pictures. Do they go together? Are they different? So different that the eye sees something different than what the ear hears?

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Mike Crosa SendOut Cards Distributor
Helping my clients increase their bottom line, one card at a time.
Phone: 352-854-8943
Cell: 305-773-0702
Toll Free:877-538-4392
Send a card on me www.sendoutcards.com/cardcoach
cardcoach@opriusmail.com

@cardcoach

Good point.  You can see our video on our website (mytechteam.net).  We have it already made.  We are basically shortening that up to 30 seconds.

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Computer Support|Online Computer Repair|Online Tech Support