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Paul, I hope to change my tone a little bit.
I enjoyed your last comment, and borrowing a little of what Craig pointed out I would like to offer the following.
You asked for critique, yes? You got several different versions of it, however you did not really ask for what you were seeking in essence. At least that is what I am hearing. I hope and suggest that you search for a web designer that works with marketing and communication firm. What you need is a total solution company. One that has a process they run you through. Sitting you down with a designer, a marketer, a techincal writer, and maybe some advertising specialist. Each one should be great in the craft, and work as a team to create your vision. I have NEVER NEVER EVER met one person that could do such a thing. I think the problem lies in the way the brain works. For example.
In my company I work for we just implemented new CSM software. The engineer that installed it was also the trainer. What a disaster. He talked way over most peoples head. We have had to have a new specifically trained trainer come out, and specifically requested that the engineer did not come back. We also suggested they change they way the sell this software, and try not to have an engineer communicate with laymen via training. They glady understood, and I hope things change.
So, where does that leave this thread?
1) Your site really lacks impression, by that I mean you surely have a lot to offer people, and although people may stomach through the site and find the value, you are making it difficult for that to happen by attempting this on your own. (I understand why now, after hearing of your past experiences with web designers.)
2) It lacks the ability to represent your special skill and offerings. I mean that a skilled writer can take people exactly where they need to be, and keep them engaged. Which ultimately leads them right down your path, right?
3) somewhat borrow from point 1) the impression is further tampered by the fact people WILL question your legitimacy. "Is this guy really good? Why does his site lack the professional appeal this guy seems to represent?" I mean by that, a lot of people will use this site as a gage to determine your personal value to them, and how much help you can be to them. So, if this is the best you can command of your own work, does that translate well with others..
OK I am being long winded, but I wanted to really try and give you a better response. With all do respect, take care and good luck
Mike