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Aug 27, 2008 5:49 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hi Everyone,

I created Vanity Health Clubs, the First Designer Health Club specializing in Cosmetic Fitness.

I don’t want to say too much, because I would like everyone to view it, and give me there feed back.  

Is the website understandable, is it intriguing for services, does it offer enough information…

The problem that I don’t like, is that I feel the website does not advertise my services. Its not causing people to buy, buy, buy. It just appears to be informational, but I want it to start leading to sales. Any suggestions?

Thank you all so much for your time and consideration,

Alan Forte

Owner, Vanity Health Clubs

http://vanityhealthclubs.com/.

alanfitnessforte8/27/2008 4:27 PM
Webline

posts: 687

Aug 27, 2008 7:23 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I think you need to clarify "Cosmetic Fitness Training" for people that aren`t familiar with the term. I assume it means workouts to just look good, not really be beneficial health-wise, because I don`t see anything telling me anything else.

Lose the splash page. And it looks like the whole site is in Flash, not usually a good thing. The "Teaser" video runs choppy on a cable connection, for me anyway.

In Firefox, if the browser isn`t sized as far across as I can get it on a 15" monitor, the words on the right get cut off.

But the bottom line is that you`re not encouraging anyone to contact you, you don`t have a sales pitch, you don`t show any benefits of your program, you don`t tell anyone why they need your service or why it`s beneficial to them right off the bat. All I really get is the message "We help you look good to stroke your ego"; whether that`s what you want to say I don`t know, but that`s what I get out of it.

"Intriguing atmosphere" means what? "Devious competitors"? In what way? Explain why you`re better. "Appear to be vain", yes, which will probably turn off a lot of visitors.

Just my 1.2 cents worth.



-------------------------

M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons


stonesledge

posts: 1093

Aug 27, 2008 8:32 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Alan,
I Love websites done in balck. So this to me personally was pleasing. I feel your market will be fitness junkies who are hard core and will not relate to regular folks.. which is fine if that is what you are targeting to. I see this as a brochure site, which is good and the photos are nice. Will you be adding more functionality to the site later on?
 
 
Erin


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Our Goal Is Your Success!
Founder Girls with Goals
dothingsright

posts: 145

Aug 27, 2008 10:10 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Overall, I think your site is very clean. However, I think your selling points are unclear. If you want people to come in and work out I would suggest you play to the reasons why people who like to look good would actually consider working out(meaning the women and men who don`t like to sweat) . I`m not suggesting that you merely list these reasons, but with your marketing message speak to these.
Who is your target market? I agree with Stonesledge that it appears that your target market would be folks who are already into fitness, already look great, and are just into maintaining that look.
The images of the women in bikinis do not work to me. They remind me of Victoria`s Secret. I would tell more of a story that more of your potential clients can relate to. Your video of the new mom speaks to this, but I would not have expected to see this testimonial on your site because of the narrowness of your targeting.
As for the images of the facility, they are great. However, I would text to make the connection to the images. Obviously we can tell what the images represent, but it would work even better to have a bit of catchy text.
Also did you purposely not mean to add information about what`s offered at the gym or did I miss it?
I hope this helps!!!
 
God Bless,
 
Tyra
Videography

posts: 672

Aug 27, 2008 1:13 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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It took me a minute to find the nav buttons, but overall I like the appearance of the site.  The "teaser" movie was very long, slow and choppy on my cable connection.  Someone with DSL will probably not wait for it to finish.

One thing that was obvious from the starting flash page - where are you?  I did not wait for the flash movie to end and the only place I found your location was in the `contact` page.  Remember, this is the WORLD wide web.  I would suggest a subheading in your logo (at least for web use) showing your spa`s location.  (City, State).


-------------------------

Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email


CraigL

posts: 9051

Aug 27, 2008 2:50 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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It`s interesting that you`ve posted the topic, looking for some second eyes to view your site, but forgot to post the link. :-D To me, that suggests a certain amount of "rushing" and perhaps a bit of impatience. It`s many times in the details that we get everything to flow smoothly, and this was a "minor" detail that turns out to be very important, right?

I looked at the site and didn`t much care for it. Mostly it`s because it doesn`t really tell me anything about "designer health clubs" and "cosmetic fitness."

There`s nothing wrong with coining a term, or using a new term that`s not readily understantables IF you make zero assumptions. As it stands, your content has all kinds of assumptions. StonesLedge (Erin) assumed that you`re targeting *only* hard-core fitness junkies, then wondered if that`s true.

Tyra (dothingsright) also wondered about your target market. The woman on the front page implies female bodybuilders. So right there you can see a central problem of communication on the existing site.

My own interests are in language and definition, and I see nothing to explain what`s cosmetic fitness, also mentioned by others, above. I clicked your "facilities" option, the same as the "view our facilities," and it didn`t make a whole lot of sense. The way I see it in my browser, is a bunch of little thumbnails like a filmstrip. Clicking each one, only expands the picture.

That doesn`t "define" the facility at all. I see a picture and no explanation at all, not even a title. What am I looking at, and why did you want me to see it?

Steve (Videography) makes another major point that you have a physical location, but no easy way to know if this site even applies to me. I`m in Illinois.

If I start to interpret what you "meant to say," rather than what you do say, I`d imagine that you`re trying to develop a fitness center that uses targeted exercises to "carve" out a body that fits a person`s self image. Is that true? If so, then why not have some content that specifically lists certain types of modification.

For example, you might have something like a browse area that lists: Thighs, Upper Body, Upper Arms, Chest, Butt, Legs, Abdominal area. Each area would have an explanation as to how you would go about scuplting the particular area. You would explain how cosmetic fitness can be exactly targeted to accomplish specific goals. That`s IF I`m even making the correct interpretation.

Webline then brings up the next major point that there`s no easy way to actually DO something with this site. "Contact" is so tiny it`s easy to miss. Besides, I`m not interested in "contacting" you, I want to know your hours, location, pricing, and services. It`d be like getting a flyer in the mail from Bed, Bath & Beyond.

In the flyer they tell me that I can get 20% off on my next purchase. But then it gives a phone number; no message, no reason for the numbers, and nothing about what to do with the flyer. I don`t want to have to work to do something, I want the selling company to do the work, and all I have to do is spend money (or not).

The good news is that this isn`t a technology problem, it`s a content problem. And that can usually be fixed a lot more easily. :-)
CraigL2008-8-27 14:56:3
Aug 27, 2008 3:33 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Thank you all so much for taking the time to comment on my website!!

It was all very helpful. I have never received this type of  valuable feed back. I preivously have asked friends and family with no business experience their opionions on my site... They understand me and what Vanity does already...  So your input on how you all viewd the site was very enlightning. All of you hit home on different problems that were accurate.

Once again, I want to thank all of you for taking the time to offer your guidance.

Alan Forte
Owner, Vanity Health Clubs

alanfitnessforte8/27/2008 4:13 PM
Webline

posts: 687

Aug 27, 2008 4:35 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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You`re welcome.

We`ll send a bill.





-------------------------

M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons


Aug 27, 2008 7:39 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Lol.
Videography

posts: 672

Aug 27, 2008 11:29 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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You didn`t read the fine print in the terms?  If you ever meet one of us you have to buy a dinner.

-------------------------

Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email


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