It`s interesting that you`ve posted the topic, looking for some second
eyes to view your site, but forgot to post the link. :-D To me, that
suggests a certain amount of "rushing" and perhaps a bit of impatience.
It`s many times in the details that we get everything to flow smoothly,
and this was a "minor" detail that turns out to be very important,
I looked at the site and didn`t much care for it. Mostly it`s because
it doesn`t really tell me anything about "designer health clubs" and
There`s nothing wrong with coining a term, or using a new term that`s
not readily understantables IF you make zero assumptions. As it stands,
your content has all kinds of assumptions. StonesLedge (Erin) assumed
that you`re targeting *only* hard-core fitness junkies, then wondered
if that`s true.
Tyra (dothingsright) also wondered about your target market. The woman
on the front page implies female bodybuilders. So right there you can
see a central problem of communication on the existing site.
My own interests are in language and definition, and I see nothing to
explain what`s cosmetic fitness, also mentioned by others, above. I
clicked your "facilities" option, the same as the "view our
facilities," and it didn`t make a whole lot of sense. The way I see it
in my browser, is a bunch of little thumbnails like a filmstrip.
Clicking each one, only expands the picture.
That doesn`t "define" the facility at all. I see a picture and no
explanation at all, not even a title. What am I looking at, and why did
you want me to see it?
Steve (Videography) makes another major point that you have a physical
location, but no easy way to know if this site even applies to me. I`m
If I start to interpret what you "meant to say," rather than what you
do say, I`d imagine that you`re trying to develop a fitness center that
uses targeted exercises to "carve" out a body that fits a person`s self
image. Is that true? If so, then why not have some content that
specifically lists certain types of modification.
For example, you might have something like a browse area that lists:
Thighs, Upper Body, Upper Arms, Chest, Butt, Legs, Abdominal area. Each
area would have an explanation as to how you would go about scuplting
the particular area. You would explain how cosmetic fitness can be
exactly targeted to accomplish specific goals. That`s IF I`m even
making the correct interpretation.
Webline then brings up the next major point that there`s no easy way to
actually DO something with this site. "Contact" is so tiny it`s easy to
miss. Besides, I`m not interested in "contacting" you, I want to know
your hours, location, pricing, and services. It`d be like getting a
flyer in the mail from Bed, Bath & Beyond.
In the flyer they tell me that I can get 20% off on my next purchase.
But then it gives a phone number; no message, no reason for the
numbers, and nothing about what to do with the flyer. I don`t want to
have to work to do something, I want the selling company to do the
work, and all I have to do is spend money (or not).
The good news is that this isn`t a technology problem, it`s a content
problem. And that can usually be fixed a lot more easily. :-)