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Nuevolution

posts: 1223

Jan 06, 2008 3:30 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hey Edgar,    It`s actually a deck of playing cards, I`m a sleight of hand magician.

Here is an interesting piece of research on how a pretty face can can push away customers.
Basically, it shows that a picture of a person staring at you causes you to get distracted and bounce much quicker, usually not even reading the headline.
The research also shows though that if you have the same person look away, locking gaze with another aspect on the site (such as the headline), than the bounce rate decreases and that headline is even more likely to be read.  
@Craig, I remember you saying the exact same thing in a previous discussion last year so I thought you would find this interesting.

I remember talking about this back in college. The reason for that a certain percent in America suffer from fears.It has nothing to do with distractions. Which is why  we were  taught that when you speak to a customer you don`t stare  at the customer dead in the eyes, you stare at them between the eye-brows. I lessens the fear and intimidation during a presentation and while you`re trying to close a deal..


-------------------------

Edgar Monroy
Web Developer / Owner / Consultant
When starting your own business the need to "know-how" is greater than money!
http://www.nuevolution.net
CampSteve

posts: 1216

Jan 06, 2008 9:41 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hey, I much prefer the new name (Grabit Pack) versus the old (Holdstalero).  Good choice on changing that even though I remember you were sorta attached to the old one.  It`s a good leadership trait to do what`s right for the business even if you go against your own personal preferences and emotional attachments.  Those can be hard decisions.

But why is the website still called holdstalero.com?  Why not grabitpack.com?

I think Craig and others made a lot of excellent comments.  My main criticism with your site is your copywriting.  It is very I-centric, meaning you write too much about yourself and your point of view.  Using this tense in marketing disengages your readers from what you are saying.  I say this a lot in critiquing sites: no offense but nobody cares about you.

People care about themselves, especially when thinking about a product purchase!  You need to get rid of your personal introduction and put that on an "about" page.  Start right away with how the pack benefits the user.

I suggest doing some reading about copywriting to get some ideas.  It will probably inspire you to keep improving!

And I also agree that you need some step-by-step images of how everything works from using the pockets to wearing the pack.  Here is a site for bicycle panniers.  Look at the detailed explanations of every feature of their packs and the many photos of each product.  You need to take this sort of approach.
nhgnikole

posts: 2660

Jan 07, 2008 2:37 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Love the pack, name change is much better.

Site is not compelling me.

I need some better product photos, closeups, every angle. You`re only selling one thing, photo it to death! I don`t know if it`s my small screen (where did I put my glassses ... ?), or the small pics, or the color of the thing ... but I`m having a hard time exactly seeing how many pockets it has and what each fits. If I had some better pictures, I`d totally be ordering one right now because I`m not a purse person but I did find myself crawling through tunnels after a toddler at Playland yesterday and this would have been so much better than having to go back through to find my keys!

You have way too much text that is not eye catching. It`s simple. Make it simple. All that text makes it complicated. Come up with a catch phrase, like "THE Hands-Free Carry-All" or "Easy Access to your stuff, Anywhere, Anytime!" (Okay those are bad but my first stab is always just meant to toss something out there.)

By the way ...
"My name is Louis Kiss and I am the inventor of the Grabit Pack."
I don`t care. You`re cute and everything, but no one cares. With a website, it`s all about your reader and no one cares about you. It`s a no-no in copywriting. Read this for some help.
Jan 07, 2008 3:02 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hi,
 
I do like the product concept and recommend targeting outdoor enthusiasts stores and media.  There are also quite a few military resale stores that might be interested.
 
Best,
Jennifer
mothercares

posts: 10

Jan 10, 2008 5:22 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hello All!
       I`m back again. Remember I had the issue with sales..........there were none and I couldn`t seem to talk with the decision makers? Also I had my old site critiqued? That having been said, I have a new site and my sales all of a sudden went through the ROOF! All the people I had talked with that seemed to be giving me the run around..............get this were THE BUYERS! They just started calling out of no where.
 
Now I want you all to give me some feedback on the new site, it`s missing something not sure what. Keep in mind it`s mainly a site for retailers and buyers, not a REAL commerce site although I do have a consumers page to buy...........but not at the wholesale price, retail.
 


-------------------------

"Find one thing and do it well"
grabitpack

posts: 62

Jan 11, 2008 4:04 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hello All!
       I`m back again. Remember I had the issue with sales..........there were none and I couldn`t seem to talk with the decision makers? Also I had my old site critiqued? That having been said, I have a new site and my sales all of a sudden went through the ROOF! All the people I had talked with that seemed to be giving me the run around..............get this were THE BUYERS! They just started calling out of no where.
 
Now I want you all to give me some feedback on the new site, it`s missing something not sure what. Keep in mind it`s mainly a site for retailers and buyers, not a REAL commerce site although I do have a consumers page to buy...........but not at the wholesale price, retail.
 



Spam?


-------------------------

Louis Kiss
http://www.grabitpack.com
the ULTIMATE Gadget Holster
http://www.clinchwallet.com
The most PRACTICAL wallet available
Webline

posts: 687

Jan 11, 2008 5:14 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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It`s hard to read.
The background distracts from it.
No images.
Most importantly ..... where do you tell what it even is?



-------------------------

M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons


grabitpack

posts: 62

Jan 11, 2008 9:27 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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It`s hard to read.
The background distracts from it.
No images.
Most importantly ..... where do you tell what it even is?




Are you referring to my site or the spammer above your post?


-------------------------

Louis Kiss
http://www.grabitpack.com
the ULTIMATE Gadget Holster
http://www.clinchwallet.com
The most PRACTICAL wallet available
CampSteve

posts: 1216

Jan 12, 2008 11:21 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hey Louis.  That other post is not spam.  Sometimes people don`t understand how the website critique forums work and think that a single thread is open for all websites.  I`ve seen this a few times before.

The best way to keep your thread on topic about your site is to keep discussing your own site.  I saw you made some changes but you didn`t come back to this thread to let people know.  If you posted here something like, "check out the changes, now what do you think?" or ask some question, people are more likely to keep discussing your site.

I understand it can be irritating when things veer off topic.

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