Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

http://www.computerclue.com/bro/CC85x11brochure-front.png

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Tomasz B
Computer Clue
info@computerclue.com
www.computerclue.com

I don`t like "WHY US?" or "WHY ME?" (Although the second one kind of makes me laugh.)

Copywriting needs some work in general.

Computer Clue: Fast and Reliable Service

Call on Computer Clue
when you need blah blah blah
for personal service from a live person.
for a trustworthy ______
for our Microsoft, Dell and Whatever Certifications
for our 100% satisfaction guarantee
to become our next happy client!

Not sure I entirely like this either ... but it`s a start.


I do like to refer to myself in the "royal we" however.

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EventBrander.com | Custom Printed T-Shirts, Promotional Products, Lowest Prices Guaranteed

I don`t care for the "detect," unless you`re a security agency. I`d prefer a short and simple, "You`ll see the difference!" Yes, I see that Computer `Clue` lends itself to the concept of clues, detectives, mystery, and so forth.

What about "You`ll find we`re different!" But I don`t think you want to go too far with the play on "clue," in my own view.

I agree there are too many bullets on the top left. However, I really like the graphic of "Honest. Reliable. Trustworthy."

That being said, it once again leads me to conclude you`re a security agency. Is that your intent?

(By the way, welcome to the community Eventbrander :-) You`ve got some really great suggestions!)

In my case I am the business.  My personal name is even in the business name. Although I never pretend to be more than an "I," most potential customers, and others, assume my business is a "we." 

I often get requests for information about my staff, potential clients ask about my design team, and I get 50-100 resumes each year from people wanting to come to work for my firm.  That perception is not necessarily a bad thing - it allows me to be a contender with the "big boys" for future business.

While I don`t use "I" or "we" in my marketing/promotion efforts, I do refer to my business in third person by its name.  It has always been a very conscious decision - to refer to my work efforts as a company, rather than promoting myself as a one-person independent contractor.  I do think potential customers take me more seriously as a result.

- J.




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Jeff Fisher | Jeff Fisher LogoMotives | Tweet! Tweet!

CraigL,
I don`t intent to be security agency. Computer Clue is the name of my company. You`ll DETECT the Difference is my slogan. I agree maybe it sounds little confusing. I`d love to hear from you what substitute slogans can you recommend?


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Tomasz B
Computer Clue
info@computerclue.com
www.computerclue.com

As in the above, I don`t see a problem with "You can see the difference!" That`d be if you were to stick with pretty much your current tagline.

On the other hand, I actually like the other as a possible tagline;

Is slogan something that can be change anytime and many times?



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Tomasz B
Computer Clue
info@computerclue.com
www.computerclue.com

I wouldn`t change it many times, but there`s no reason it can`t be changed. Unless you have it on a few hundred dollars worth of advertising paper. When you do have "the" one, it`ll ring true in your ear, AND anyone else who knows your business. If this is the case with the existing slogan, by all means keep it. I just have my single opinion, y`know? :-)

Tomasz,

I understand that you want to come off as a larger company, however, in the situation, YOU are the product! Your customers will benefit from YOUR expertise and YOUR personal service. I think that`s your pitch. It would make me very happy to know that the expert will be personally helping me, instead of someone less capable. Until you have another person working with you, and you post their information/credentials on your site (building your client`s confidence in that person as well) I think you should promote your company as an I; not a WE/US.

My second recommendation was already brought up - refer to the company, not you. Just keep it third person. That`s what I did for my brochures.