Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

After pressing numbers and wasting away time trying to get something accomlished via phone have you ever found yourself cursing the company you`re calling under your breath?!

Yes, they`re saving money on customer service, but they`re also losing future business to disenchanted customers right and left.

On the expectation that the rumors are true that some "big companies" lurk here in our forums to learn about entrepreneurs, and also with the hope that SUNsters can provide superior customer service to the bigger companies out there, I thought I`d start this topic so you can provide your customer service one-liner laments (and any necessary explanation to go with it).

Here`s one for starters:


This lament comes from an experience i had just yesterday while trying to call in a prescription to a local branch of my pharmacy while travelling in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was standing in the entryway of an IN `n OUT BURGER place pecking away with growing frustration as i was trying to actually talk to human being and kept getting routed through automated directories. I nearly threw my phone into the street. That`s when I heard myself yell, "I just want a human!!!"

What`s your One-Liner Customer Service Lament?


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Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

I answer my own phone at my law office!

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James Lindon, Ph.D. Patent Attorney
Lindon & Lindon, LLC
Cleveland, Ohio
Patents, Trademarks, Copyrights, Pharmacy Law, Litigation
[this is not legal advice - provided for discussion only]
Intellectual Property for the Individual and Small Business: Identify, Protect, Enforce, Defend.
"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."
http://www.LindonLaw.com

here`s another one:



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Rich Sloan , Co-Founder, Chief Startupologist, StartupNation

"Isn`t there anyone in charge, who knows what`s going on?"

That`s my big bugaboo....being routed up and down, around and round, to people who have no idea how to solve the problem. They`re just trying, they say, to determine what is the problem. I KNOW the damn problem! (Half the time I almost know the whole solution too!)

I want a decision-maker! :-D

I recently called the phone company and went around in a circle because my reason wasn`t one of their options. Even pressing 0 didn`t get me anuwhere.  I kept hearing "we do not understand that response".  This went on for about 5 min. I finally was losing my cool and said" I want a Human Being!!" That at least transferred me to an operator although that took an additional 10 min. 

Their our some great responses here. Thanks for letting me vent.

Kathy


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That`s why I love Netflix. Movie sucked? Just send it back. Wrong movie? Send it back. Wrong format? Send it back. I can get a new one in a day and it`s not like I just paid $4 to watch 20 mins of a really crappy one.

I think QVC is the worst about returns ... large items and you pay shipping both ways!

My deal the other day was
My bank charged me twice in one day for fees on 2 separate transactions that were labeled as "foreign transaction fees". One was for a company in Brooklyn. The other was for PayPal! The guy couldn`t seem to figure out why the "transactions department" put the charges on there. So he transferred me to that department, where I ended up in a voicemail box that was full and not accepting messages.

I guess how that`s they make their money anyway. I would have spent more money in cell phone minutes fighting the call then I would have gotten back if the $1.20 was refunded.


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That PHP Girl
Small Business Essentials
Latest Post on SUN: New Facebook Pages - First Impressions

Oh...! THAT`s a really good one!

You wait half an hour, listening to some crappy music, then, "We`ll transfer you now."


.....................................click................ ........

I just want a human being....who can speal ENGLISH clearly.  Even HP has gone to outsourcing their customer service.  What I think is funny is when they answer and they are clearly not American and they give you a VERY American name like "Hi, my name is Jeff".    Yeah right. 

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Our Mission is to Serve our Clients with Professionalism and Efficiency.
www.SupportMyOffice.com

We do not outsource our customer service but our competition does.  We wanted our customers to deal with professional people that can get them up and shipping as quickly as possible.  Can you image having a customer shipping 1000 boxes per day with a problem?  For this reason we do not like to leave our customers on hold for extended periods, we just want to make things as efficient as possible and give them the right answer the first time. 

Therefore we have done the following:  Our phone system answers the phone and you press a number to get to the right department.  At that point one of two things happen, you get a real live person or you go straight to voice mail if all lines are busy.  We tell our customers in the voice mail message that all calls left there are returned as quickly as we can and in the order of their call, not their voice mail.  In other words, it is like they were put on hold but we do not force them to listen to bad marketing or music.  Finally, we do what we say and we call them right back as soon as possible.  All calls received during normal business hours are returned the same day.  Most return calls are done within minutes after they are received.  When we see too many going to voice mail, we know it is time to hire more technicians.  Because there are so many other businesses that do not return voice mail calls as they should, our new customers are sometimes afraid we will not do as promised.  But once they have tried it, they like it because we do.

This method has allowed us to be competitive without outsourcing and it makes our customer service something our customers appreciate.  I wish more companies would follow this model.  It is much better than throwing untrained people at the problem so all phone lines are answered.

At least this is what works for us.

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Bert at Harvey Software, Inc.
Multi-Carrier Shipping Software and Supply Chain Solutions for Internet Retailers

Also a provider of free shipping information and resources at Harvey Software`s Parcel Shipping Blog along with free tracking solutions at TrackingPage.com...

I think that is a good model.  As a consumer it is very frustrating to get an untrained person thrown at me.  I don`t think I would mind so much leaving a message like you said if I was confident my call would be returned quickly, although, that`s not often the case so I wonder how much business walks away when they don`t get through to a human right away.

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Our Mission is to Serve our Clients with Professionalism and Efficiency.
www.SupportMyOffice.com