The biggest problem I see is that the current writing (i.e.,
copywriting) is too filled with jargon, acronyms, and lingo. For
example, I see that you`re using on your landing page (is that the
About page or the Home page?---you have Home at the far right, so it`s
confusing), SLA, CSA, and PSA.
Now I happen to be an older type person, with worldly savoire faire, so
I know that you`re talking about the Symbionese Liberation Army, Certified
Systems Administrators, and Public Service Announcements. But without
the spellout for these types of things, most people likely wouldn`t
know as clearly...right? ;-)
Additionally, although I read through the mumbo-jumbo, I still have a
hard time understanding not only what you do, but more importantly,
what it is you offer!
For example, I tend to buy commercial software, shareware utilities,
and every so often, something like a USB thumb drive. Am I a potential
customer? I dunno. Then again, I do understand what the CIO of an
enterprise IT department goes through, with SAP and high-end
architectures, but I wonder if they`re your potential customer,
instead? Dunno.
All in all, it`s a nice site, and loads quickly. I think the main
problem comes down to copywriting. That`ll take care of the SEO writing
(which, I think stands for Standard Elliptical Orbit.....or maybe
search-engine optimization...I`m not sure). You might consider at least
having a consult with a professional freelance copywriter, just to see
what they think.
I did go to the Client Services, and chose Buyer. There, again, I think
there`s just too much "corporate-ese" if you know what I`m saying? Life
shouldn`t be that complicated. Just explain who you are, what you have
to offer, and how you`ll provide that service, and do so in plain
English. It`s not true that the more complicated something sounds, the
more credibility people will assign you.
CraigL2008-1-2 23:46:12
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