One problem I had, coming to mind right away, is that icecream melts.
So the first place I visited was your Shipping tab. I`d just come away
from a cheese site and wanted to know their shipping process, so I had
something to compare.
You`ll want to get a lot more specific than you currently state. I see
that you require a 2-3 day delivery, so how does the icecream stay
intact on a 3-day delivery? It sounds as though you`re telling the
customer that they`re limited to a certain type of delivery and carrier
due to the fragility of the product? That`s fine, but you should spell
it out clearly so there aren`t any surprises.
I clicked your football cake on the home page, to get an example. The
description doesn`t say much, and you could definitely "sell" the
product a bit more. That`s a copywriting issue, which perhaps isn`t
something you enjoy? If not, then see about a freelance copyrwriter to
spice up the descriptions a bit.
The idea itself is terrific, and it`ll help to sell itself. Not only
that, but the "Say it With...." term has come to mean (to a lot of
people) something like a telegram, so that`s also ready to play. Now
you only need to push the viewer to take an action.
In other words, the site is nice, but passive. It sort of sits there
like a brick and mortar store. The key difference is that in a B&M
store, people come in and can buy something immediately, then take it
home. On a Web page, they know they`re "just looking," so unless you
push them to buy something, they`ll say, "Hah! Cool...!" and click away.
The football cake picture isn`t appetizing at all. It looks black. I
agree with Tom`s ideas to use photography and perhaps video to bring
out the "I need sugar....and Chocolate!" mouth-watering,
appetite-whetting aspects. :-)
Take a look at Google Images, for "
ice cream cake."
This one example shows the difference between your football cake image,
and a better way to say "Here, eat this!" Remember that on the Web, you
can`t smell and taste things, all you have are pictures and words.
Pictures tend to help more when it comes to making food look exciting.
I read the content on the home page, and it`s still unexciting. In a
way, it tells me what you have, but more like a police blotter type of
statement. For example:
"We have custom flavors, ice cream
cakes, sundae kits, ice cream sandwiches, ice cream truffles, ice cream
brownies, pies, cupcakes and so much more. Once you’ve managed to
select from our wide variety of ice cream treats and gift options, Say
it with Ice Cream.com will deliver your unique message on one of our
famous ice cream cakes and include all the toppings, cups and spoons
and everything needed to make your gift memorable!"
It`s two different concepts in one paragraph. It`s a long list, but
nothing personal. You`re all about "send a gift," which everybody gets
right away, and not much about why you?
Our cakes aren`t ordinary! We make our own flavors....and something.
Once you’ve managed (This sounds like I`m handicapped in some way :-))
Select from a wide variety of ice cream treats and gift options.
We`ll deliver one of our famous ice cream cakes with your personal
message, and include all the toppings, cups and spoons---everything
you`ll need to start eating right away!
I`m just throwing together stuff in this single paragraph, but the idea
is to make it less passive, more active. Speak directly to your
customer, don`t speak as if they "might" want a cake. Assume they want
a cake "right now!" and you`re just helping them to choose which flavor.
Again, you don`t have to spend a lot of time on "send a gift,"
excepting on the how it`s done without melted ice cream. Rather; spend
the time on making the cakes "taste great!" in pictures and words. :-)
CraigL2008-8-30 18:59:32
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