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lrauch60

posts: 2

Apr 18, 2006 5:22 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I am in the process of selling my website, I am starting a new venture and no longer have time for this site. I have written a sales page for the site and would like some advice as to how it sounds. I want to sell it for what I am asking. I know the site is worth the money and know that it will make someone a great income, potentially millions. Here is the link to the ad page:

http://uglydragon.com/uglydragonforsale.html

 

and here is the link to the site: http://www.uglydragon.com

 

Any suggestions, advice or offers will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

iouone2

posts: 1185

Apr 18, 2006 6:01 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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It sounds fine to me, but I am always skeptical when reading
about someone selling their online business for any price. I
own one. I know the work load and income, as well as potential
income. I read the sales page and the first thing I think is, “why
doesn`t the owner want a business that can create `unlimited
revenue per month`.” There is really no documentation as to
why you believe this sight is valuable. I am just new at this, but I
bet you should provide some research to why it will work or
history of how it is working. If it`s a sales page, I wasn`t sold
because I know there is no such thing as a pot of gold.

I don`t mean to sound harsh, and hopefully I am not sounding
that way. I think I have answered your question. You need
research documentation, to convince me the business is for
me… or anyone you`re making the offer to.

If you mean to ask me to critique what is written, then I think the
first paragraph could be better. I`m not a copy writer, so I only
did the first paragraph... the best I could. It reads,

“This site is the perfect opportunity of an entrepreneur who is
looking to own a company that will generate unlimited revenue
per month. Imagine the income potential that this business has
to offer. It is ready for anyone who has the drive and
motivations to lay the foundation for big business. The website
will conceivable become a multi million dollar business
venture.”

I think it should read,

“Don`t start your business from the ground up! This site holds a
perfect opportunity, for an entrepreneur looking to earn
unlimited revenue each month. Imagine the income potential
that this business has to offer. No energy is required to build
the structure of this business. It`s already done. You are the
entrepreneur with the drive and motivation. The foundation for
big business is set. This is your multi-million dollar business
venture. What do you plan to do with it?”

Or something like that…

Hope I was helpful.

-------------------------

Vincent Wilcox (a.k.a. KRAKR)
Drummer
My band: Letters Make Words
lrauch60

posts: 2

Apr 18, 2006 7:00 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Thanks for the input I really appreciate it. I will make some changes to the page. I have numbers from other similar sites that I`m sure I can use.

 

Thanks again

Apr 18, 2006 7:45 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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A little more color and formatting will help the reader to stay
interested.    The top headers are nice - just pull some color
from "Ugly Dragon", bolding, etc to spice it up visually.

I think Vincent`s comments are valid and necessary, as well.
You definitely have to "blow your own horn" a little louder so it
sounds more convincing - any facts, figures and past customer
testomonies would be a real bonus.

Best regards,
Bill Adelstein
PartiProductions2006-4-18 19:46:22


-------------------------

Visit Parti Productions - New clients receive free services !
Dynamic Website Design, Graphics & Multimedia Presentations
www.partiproductions.com


chakery

posts: 18

Apr 18, 2006 10:04 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I guess my question would be what would stop someone else from doing the same thing and paying less to do it? I would also want to know if the business is already making money and if it was; how much it was making? My next question would be who owns the other 10% and why? I mean if you are really selling, why not sell the entire thing? Also, if it only costs $15 a month to maintain why not keep it and make millions like you mention in your post?

-------------------------

Malcom Chakery
Chakery Design LLC, President
Toll Free: 1.855.CHAKERY
Local: 214.295.5550
www.chakery.com
www.malcom.co
twitter.com/chakery
facebook.com/chakerydesign
widerimage

posts: 4

May 23, 2007 4:15 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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widerimage5/30/2008 3:16 PM
InactiveMember

posts: 705

May 23, 2007 7:53 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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The copywriting and communication could definitely use some work. I "get" what you do but am left wondering why it`s relevant. And perhaps it`s not relevant to me ... but the site definitely fails the 4-second test.

Here`s an article I wrote on copywriting.

Just in case you don`t have time... here`s a snip.

"Repeat after me: It is not the visitor`s job to figure out if my product or service is relevant." What you describe as "getting it" is most likely a communication failure on your end. [ I think you realize that. ]

If you can afford to hire a copywriter, do so. If not, read the article. If you request a formal critique of your web site, some really sharp members like NHGNikole and CraigL might offer great feedback.

Hope this helps.

CraigL

posts: 9051

May 23, 2007 9:58 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I concur, "Too busy!" :-)

Here`s what I`d do, coming from my own fascination with photography. I`d change the look and feel of the site to as many images, and few words as possible.

So for example, on your home page under heading something like "See everything in a really big picture," you`d have a beautiful landscape. Copy (or steal) the technique you`ve seen on sites that sell software to accomplish these super-wide photos. Have the landscape, "click to enlarge," then have dotted lines showing all the individual shots that went into "stitching them together."

Have a navigation button: "How." Just the button title is enough to invoke curiosity. Then have a step 1, step 2, etc., that shows the images coming to you, going through the stitching and perspective process, and ending with the same landscape as on the front page.

Have a "Gallery" of some of the projects you`re most proud of.

You don`t need gobs of words and explanations to sell photographic images. They`re a visual medium, after all. Y`know?

I looked at your first example of a wider image, and it looked awful. The "click to enlarge" showed what I mean for you to do on the front page. But I wanted to click the image and see it go all the way across my 19" high-resolution monitor. It didn`t.

I think that`d help you sell more product, if you *show* what you`re doing, rather than explain it all with a bazillion words that`re too complicated for people to care about. :-)
CraigL2007-5-23 22:1:53
widerimage

posts: 4

May 23, 2007 10:57 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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widerimage5/30/2008 3:16 PM
CraigL

posts: 9051

May 23, 2007 11:41 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hi Michael,
I understand what you do, having looked at the pics that were stitched together.
But it`s also obvious, looking at those pictures. Under the "How" all you need to say is "You send us many pictures of an eventy and we blend them together using common elements of each picture." That`s pretty much it, right?

If the pictures need some work, it shouldn`t matter that they`re not pictures you took or own. That`s the whole basis for this product in the first place. To that end, you can`t make any excuses, you have to have them as best examples as you can make.

In other words, *show* people what they`ll receive if they buy your services. :-)
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