Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

I am an online retailer that sells custom dog clothing: www.kustomkanine.com

I am in need of refining my 30 sec intro that tells people what I do. Here is what I have so far. Any suggestions to make it more appealing?

"I help pet parents showcase their dog’s unique personality while keeping their dog warm in the winter and stylish in the summer."


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Katie Shellhorse Kustom Kanine - Still Working on a Tagline www.KustomKanine.com * www.KustomKanine.com/Blog * katie@kustomkanine.com

Hi Katie:

I think this is a good thing to work on and I doubt many people think seriously about this. If I were you and ran a company who makes creative products for dogs, I`d start with your title: "Hi, I`m Katie Shellhorse, CEO (Canine Executive Officer) of Kustom Kanine.

Then I`d say something like this: ...We offer a line of customized apparel for dogs and we`ve made it point and click simple to  make just the right dog tee, coat hat or hoodie for special dogs all over the world. Here is a free photo album for you and your pet. We`ve started it out with a few photos of our pups." You can then give them a 4x6 photo album with a few prints inserted, including of course a big logo, your phone number and website.

As a photographer, I believe that the pictures will help tell the story in just a few sentences. If you are on the phone, it is a little more challenging but you can send them to your site and you can have a little video presentation of how to use your site, with photos of the dogs wearing the clothes.

Hope that helps!

All the best,

Andrew Darlow





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Andrew Darlow, Consultant & Editor
The Imaging Buffet

Author, 301 Inkjet Tips and Techniques: An Essential Printing Resource for Photographers - InkjetTips.com

Wow, thanks for the great advice! I`m definitely going to try the photo album idea.

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Katie Shellhorse Kustom Kanine - Still Working on a Tagline www.KustomKanine.com * www.KustomKanine.com/Blog * katie@kustomkanine.com

KK,

I think Andrew nailed it! Great comments, Andrew.

R@

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Richard Arnold · Key Concept Writers · Business Communication: The "Key" To Success· Law of Attraction Blog · Life Ain`t Brain Surgery Blog

:-) As CookieMonster would say, "It`s not about what you do. It`s about what you offer."

Summarizing some of the other posts on this issue, What did you see the world was missing that prompted you to start your business? What need do you fulfill that`s not been done before? How do you fill that need better, if someone else is also competing?

Hold the phone and photo album!

Please don`t turn people off by saying so much stuff up front about you.  (i.e. just your name is more than enough and often you don`t even need that if you have a  name tag on)

Have you been to networking group and really watched how people react to you?  I have done lots of people watching.  And in most situations, what I find is that you have 7 to 10 words before their eyes start looking elsewhere, even if you`re standing in front of them.  It`s so much better to not use that time up with things they won`t remember anyway ;)

So I might start

Hi my name is __  Do you know someone who has a special dog?  or maybe  Do you know someone whose dog is part of the family?  (wait for answer)  Well what my company does is  (benefits of your products) we provide (exactly what products) and we`re embroider their names or initials or your family name on the clothing if you`d like that, too.   

Like --and this is a first draft from a cat lover ;)

Do you know someone whose dog is part of their family? Well, what I do is help help dog lovers all over the world to pamper their favorite pet by providing durable, sturdy _____.  And we can make the clothing extra special by  embroidering the dogs name, initial or your family name on the clothing, too.   (then I`d have another quesiton at the end, so that they can verbally connect with you again)

Cause really, if you bottom line it, your name, title, etc. don`t mean anything to a stranger.  A stranger wants to know first and foremost "whats in it for me"   i.e. how is knowing you going to help make my life better in some terrific way.

At networking events, what you`re looking use your introduction to get them to give you their cards, so you can follow up. So consider asking those who already purchased from you, why they purchased - what did they find in your products that made them feel better about their lives. 

I would think words like "cute"  "compassion"  as well as warm, cool, stylish, fun, special, pick their own colors,  might be some words they could use, although I`m a cat lover myself.

PS. Based on the colors of your website, I`d think that your idea client is a women.   And that might be something to consider when writing your elevator speech.  Green is also a color to be careful with as 20% (of men, if I remember the number correctly) are color blind and don`t see green.