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I am going to take a different tack from the other critics. There is no point in just repeating what they said.
So I am looking at it from the viewpoint of an editor with a lifetime of experience in copy-editing, typography and layout.
Frankly the page is boring. Sorry to be so brutal.
The main problem is that everything is floating around on a sea of white. You don`t have different backgrounds or colored boxes for different topics.
You DO need illustrations, not necessarily portrait shots but something of significance to what you are trying to sell. If nothing else comes to mind, try a very pale grey background of a sample balance sheet. It, at least, gives the customer/client an idea of what your business is all about.
Those grey arrows pointing east and west are a distraction. They don`t point to anything and don`t respond to the click of a mouse, so they tend to annoy the people you are trying to please.
You are spreading the information out over too wide a page. Not only do we have to scan north to south (which is okay) but also east to west to read each line. And that is NOT okay!
Text has not been edited. You need a hard-nosed editor to go over each word, phrase and sentence to ensure you are getting the maximum use of your space, especially on your home page.
You also need someone to check your spelling! I`m surprised no one else has already pointed this out -- there is nothing loses you clients/customers than misspelled advertising, especially on key words such as "receipts".
There`s a section on the right that is totally confusing.
It begins: Now until July 30 / Introductory Beta offer/ sign-up icon/ subscription only ....
If that is all one part, it needs to be connected better. I don`t know why it is a Beta offer and not a plain old Introductory offer. That needs to be above Now until July 30.
You use capitals in so many instances when they are not necessary.
For example, compared this edited version with your original "Coming Soon" section
Coming soon
Why you can`t trust your bank,
an op-ed feature on how financial institutions
engage in practices that separate you
engage in practices that separate you
from your hard-earned money!
Two capitals versus ten! You can then gussy it up with eye-catching typography which, unfortunately I cannot do on this site!
There are some more suggestions, but I guess I have given you a hard enough time already! Sorry for that, brother.
Seriously, I hope the suggestions are helpful to you in getting started in a very worth-while business.
Patch
winniephil@sympatico.ca
-------------------------
Philip Thatcher
Editorin-Chief
Write With God
