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My first business, and first website, feedback much appreciated!

 
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Cody

posts: 2

Dec 02, 2008 10:49 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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www.grizzlypaintball.com

     Started the business this last January only using the website, and my garage.  The things i would like to hear feedback about is load times and site responsiveness, have the site running on a homemade LAMP server in the basement.


Thanks,

Cody

txteen

posts: 4

Dec 03, 2008 1:16 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I like it. I would use p align justify on the text

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CraigL

posts: 9051

Dec 03, 2008 4:24 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Well, the site is pretty sparse. That`s not bad; it actually can be a benefit. But it seems a bit "too" sparse, I think.

You clearly get across the idea instantly! But I wonder if that`s getting you the visibility you need? Are you listed in Google`s local directory of businesses? Your meta description offers a tagline, but no real description. For example, you might include "Missoula, MT and your phone number in the description. That way, if you`re found, the search results would tell the whole story.

I think too, that although it`s nice you have "news" on the home page, that might better go on an "Our Newsletter" tab. To replace the news content, I`d argue that you`d do better with some descriptive sales content, along with some photographs.

I checked your prices and see a Complete Marer Package. Below that is a "marker" package. Is that a typo? (I know zero about paintball.)

All in all, the site loads a bit slowly on my FireFox, Win98, and DSL line. Particularly the price sheet.

But it`s easy to navigate, easy to understand, and very clear as to your product. It`s only that it`s not very enticing, persuasive, or exciting. I think some better copywriting would be in order to help get the word out there. :-)
CraigL2008-12-3 4:25:17
Videography

posts: 672

Dec 03, 2008 1:06 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Well, the site is pretty sparse. That`s not bad; it actually can be a benefit. But it seems a bit "too" sparse, I think.


I think that all you need to spice the home page is to put more header tags in your text.

You should also put in more descriptive page titles.  "Home" doesn`t help your SEO much.  Not that search engines have a problem finding you in Montanna, but better SEO would get you to the first page of a search for "paintball montana".  The title of your home page should be: "Grizzly Paintball in Missoula, Montana offers the finest paintball rentals, service, and sales"

Hope this helps...



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Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
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jcwilde1

posts: 26

Dec 03, 2008 4:50 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I think that the little dude with the shield brings down the page`s professionalism. It is pixelated and floating there in the middle. Maybe incorporate it into your header. I would also try to incorporate your tagline under you company name a bit better. You spent the time to find a unique font for your name but just through the tagline there in Arial.

Other than that I would recommend getting on a server that is hosted in a secure location with a redundent connection. It should be cheap enough.

Sorry if it sounds more negative than positive, but there isn`t much point in telling you all the things you did well.





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Easy to use Copiers and Printers | contact manager

Cody

posts: 2

Dec 04, 2008 1:29 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Thanks everyone, really appreciate all the advice.  Fixed the typo, thanks for the heads up.  I am currently listed in the google business directory, and that`s helped a lot.  I`ve had trouble changing the page title with Joomla, but am working on it.  I agree with the header graphic, i just downloaded the trial of photoshop CS4 which should help with that, and also optimizing the pages with pictures like the prices page to load faster.  Again thanks for the advice!  
Webline

posts: 687

Dec 04, 2008 5:05 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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You have a registration box on the left, but there is really no indication of what a membership offers .... if I sign up, what is the benefit to me?


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M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons


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