I`ve read your description and I think your story would be strengthened if you:
- Describe your business model in more detail.
- Discuss the competition (both direct and indirect)
- Include "research" that supports the need/want
Also, there is quite a difference between partners and investors. If I was looking for a partner, I`d start by "making a list" of what I want, what I expect and what I`m willing to offer to the "right" partner.
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