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Jbcowland

posts: 3

Apr 19, 2007 4:51 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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To be honest, I HATE the word critique. It makes me feel like I`m back in
college and there is RED pen marks all over my 6000 word essay that I
spent weeks on...

So, I am looking for enthusiastic people to review my website and let me
know what you think. But, please be honest - I want good points and bad
points.

To give you some background, I am building a niche business. Because I
live in Florida and it is hot here just about 90% of the year, people drink A
LOT of water, especially bottled. I want to capture that market by offering
advertising direct on bottles of water. My web page is just a brochure
page and doesn`t say much. I`m working on more content. But the idea is
to capture and ask. I`ve got my email there and my phone number - is
that enough? Should I add an inquire form? Should I add a quote form?
I will be adding specs and a gallery soon, within the next few days. But is
this enough to get people wanting more and seeking it out?

Thanks so much!!!!!!

Might be a good idea if I listed the web address, huh?
http://www.aqua-ads.net
Jbcowland2007-4-19 16:56:46
AndyCosta68

posts: 178

Apr 19, 2007 4:52 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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URL?

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Andre Costa DaCosta Chocolates, LLC www.DaCostaChocolates.com
InactiveMember

posts: 705

Apr 19, 2007 9:01 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Good job. You should definitely add an "inquire" page or registration form.
vwebworld

posts: 1237

Apr 19, 2007 10:50 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Viewing your site on IE7 with a cable connection.

Design: Looks nice. The light blue for the links is too light. According to the blog template designer: PLEASE LEAVE IN THE  LINK BACK TO  DIAPHANEITY.COM) IF YOU DECIDE TO USE THIS SKIN, THANKS (from the html code). 

The water bottle and text image on the left is a little pixelated because it has been stretched from its` original size of 179x275px to 238x366px.

Concept: There are a lot of details of this conept that are missing that impact the decision to buy.  Certainly the cost, how and where the water is "handed out" (distributed), to a target market? through retail stores? The source / quality of the water.

You might compare the price to other forms of advertising.

If the consumers are to purchase the water...why would consumers buy this water rather than another brand?

~Roland

 

vwebworld2007-4-19 22:51:31


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Web Design | Best Beef Jerky | ecommerce articles | Follow vwebworld on Twitter
Jbcowland

posts: 3

Apr 19, 2007 11:01 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Thanks Roland and CookieMonster for your feedback!

Roland - I don`t know how many times I have edited the code and never
even thought to remove the original information. It doesn`t even look like
the original I started with. I am an old-skool web coder but honestly
prefer CSS. But while I am working on the CSS and the graphics, I decided
to through up what was easiest. Though easiest isn`t always best - I
know I am having to rewrite a presentation I delivering in a few weeks
because I was trying to go the easy route and then shoot from the hip the
rest of the time! Wrong!

I will re-edit the code so that it is mine, and fix the graphic. Thanks, by
the way for telling me what browser you used. I am purely MAC and don`t
touch anything MS - unless absolutely necessary, so I have to rely on my
PC friends to tell me what is wrong. In a few months, I will have my
updated site and will have to ask again, but for the time being I will make
those adjustments and put more information up!

Thanks again for your advice and comments!!
Jbcowland2007-4-19 23:52:45
CraigL

posts: 9051

Apr 20, 2007 4:22 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hi Jb :-)
I`d switch the two "taglines" at the top of the page to this:
Thirsty for more business?
We put your ad right on water bottles, and then hand them out for you!

Put your brand in their hands and quench their thirst, at the same time - everytime.

(By the way, water bottles is two words, not one. It may be a jargon expression to join them, but it looks inelegant. Otherwise, it`s a typo.)

I think it`s more direct, and almost instantly describes your line of business. As it is now, it`s just a tad too much eye-movement. You have to read the graphic picture, then the second line, all of which could be made simpler with the above switcheroo---in my opinion.

Lose the big, pink "WOW!!" It`s too big, and does nothing but add distraction.

This line also does nothing and could vanish with no impact:
" Take hold of this opportunity and keep your brand, your business name, and your product in their hands."

As for the quote, it`s not worth keeping it quoted....only cited. It could do with a punchier rewrite, something along the lines of:
  • In 2006, total bottled water volume exceeded 8.25 billion gallons.
  • Bottled water consumption levels rose in one year, to 27.6 gallons per person.
These amazing figures represent a 1-year increase of 9.5% in volume and 2 gallons per person! More and more people are using bottled water. Why not use the bottles to get across your business message?

(Source: 2006 Bottled Water Volume Exceeds 8 billion gallons, QSR Magazine)

Remember that you have only about 4 seconds to grab someone`s attention on a Web site. I`m thinking something like these suggestions help make the pertinent information available faster?
CraigL2007-4-20 4:25:31
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