"Thank you for your post, it "spoke" to me. I also was not offended. I do not consider myself weak, sometimes folks take niceness for either stupidity or that they can walk all over you. I have been learning to create a line between niceness and firmness. I have had situations with men that you mentioned and women. I also have clients that respect that i run a business but when i get the folks that want free, free, free..i have sometimes felt uncomfortable and am learning to be more firm. I have been a success both personally and professionally but have always had issues with asking for payment. Thanks for your post it was appreciated:)."
DMM: Thanks for your kind words as they are greatly appreciated. I`ve met a lot of women who are strong in a lot of ways. They are strong partners to the people they love, they are strong when it comes to their family and home, they are strong when it comes to doing what they do - and doing it well. And they might be socially outgoing and friendly. No wallflower here.
But doggone it there`s something about selling and marketing that makes them squidgy.
And it`s really important to have healthy boundaries. You can be polite and pleasant and still hold your ground.
Many many women grow up with a steady diet of hearing:
* Don`t toot your own horn
* Be a nice girl
* Let everyone else go first
* And for goodness sake - don`t call the boy.
Last month I gave a talk in front of the Las Vegas Women`s Realtor Council - there were 150 women Realtors in attendance. I asked them to put their hands up if they heard at least two of these statements growing up. By the time I said all five - every hand in the room was up.
The problem is when you start a business you`re told:
* You gotta toot your own horn
* You can`t take "no" for an answer
* You should position yourself as the expert or the authority
* You need to call, call, call. Or connect, connect, connect - depending on the kind of business you have.
Something feels "off" because in effect we`re being told that we basically have to be 180 degrees different from how we were raised and conditioned. And it`s on an almost imperceptible level but many women have told me they feel like a brazen hussy, a barracuda and a b*tch trying to pick up the phone and call a lead they met a few days before at a networking meeting. Of course - they were trained that nice girls don`t call. What I do is help them learn to make different conscious choices rather than react from that automatic knee-jerk conditioning so they can do the the things that have felt uncomfortable - combined with good marketing strategy and tactics - so that they can have more fun, feel more confident and make a lot more money.
Is it for everyone? Of course not. But there are women like Erin who connect with what I say - and manyothers - for whom it`s perfect.
All the best,
Denise Michaels, Author, "Testosterone-Free Marketing"
PS: Does the thought of marketing drive you to chocolate? I`m looking for a very special woman who loves her business but hates selling and marketing. Tell me about your business and your challenges and I`ll tell you how I can help you have more fun, feel more confident and make a lot more money. All my marketing mentoring clients get results. Visit me at http://www.MentoringwithDenise.com