I don`t think the length of your intro is the real issue, although it does need to be shortened.
1) I don`t really get the connection with getting noticed and celebrities.
2) "Instead of hiding in obscurity, you`ll be out in the open" OK, but the problem is that I`m represented by a 1 x 1 pixel spot, which doesn`t really make me stand out from anyone else .... if you end up with thousands of users, where does my spot stand out from any other spot? How would I even know which spot was mine? How would I know how to find a certain user, or know who`s pixel I`m clicking on beforehand? And trying to click on one tiny particular spot among thousands could be difficult for many users.
3) "one million people will see a link to your profile
every time they use the site." This doesn`t quite make sense, I think just from the way it`s written.
Still, even with the more wordy intro, it isn`t clear what I can add/do/submit as a member. An FAQ page would help.
I think it`s cool that you are looking at a new twist on something popular, and I really don`t mean to be totally negative ... what I`m saying is just my opinion .... but to me there are still gaps in the logic/reasoning of using it, and the pixel aspect seems like it could be frustrating to use.
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M Hall
Website Critique Community
International Society of Curmudgeons