Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

Hi Rich,

 Just an FYI I am not suggesting a MLM business. These are generic tools that explain the difference in the employee mentality vrs. the mentality of a business owner. I thought they would help bmwsmity help open up his spouses eyes. They do not even mention MLM as far as I know although I have not seen them in a while. Some MLM business owners I know use them to educate their clients about the difference in the mindsets prior to offering their business as way for people to make money. I know people are successful in MLM but I am not a fan of the model.

John


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bmwsmity,

You`ve gotten a lot of feedback on this thread, and I felt I didn`t have anything to contribute until you told us your line of business, landscape lighting.  I helped an aquaintence of mine formulate his business/marketing plan two years ago and now his business is up and running successfully, although not as fast as he wanted.  He is financially viable, with his wife handling all the accounting. 

More later, first a little background, or my credintials for this conversation:

I`ve been running my own businesses for the past 23 years, with varying degrees of success and had only one wife (and three incredible daughters) during this rollercoaster of entrepreneurship.

We`ve had our ups and downs, and with my wife, emotionally measured by our financial status.  Money = mood/attitude.  I`m not knocking her feelings, but it is very frustrating for me when this happens.  When things got/get tight, her attitude turns south.  She doesn`t always voice it, but her demeanor, tone and non-verbals all scream her dissatisfaction.  I`ve had $200K years and $6K years, with matching emotional health on her part.  And yes, we`ve almost split over this, not the businesses, but the needs, character issues this type of pressure exposes.

What you are dealing with as you have stated is a wife that is emotionally driven, regardless of her understanding of the logical issues.  She`s scared!  Security and stability now are far more important to her than future weatlh.  She can`t live on future promises. She`d rather be secure than wealthy.

Having said that, information, a plan and measurable progress along that plan may go a long way to addressing her security fears.  Show her the plan, back it up with progress.  The suggestion of trying this for a few months is great, if she will go along with it. 

Now for some concrete assistance: 

My friend has established a great business plan and business (with my humble assistance) and he is now one of the top landscape lighting businesses in D/FW.

At the least, I can put you in contact with him and his wife to discuss your business and how you may be able to get to your goals faster.  Or maybe a better idea would be to partner with him as a sales agent/installer and let them handle all the materials/supply, with you doing the sales followups, demonstrations and installation. 

Let me know if I can help in this regard.

As far as your wife goes, she is your life partner, try to address her fears/needs within your business pursuits.

Rich,

You posted

"regarding MLM videos, just be really careful. as exciting and intoxicating as MLM schemes are, statistically you`d have to be the exception, not the rule, to succeed financially going the MLM route."

Just a comment, doesn`t your observation regarding MLM`s hold for startup businesses as well?, in fact for all of life?

According to the US Dept of Labor stats, is seems that success at retirement breaks down as follows:

2% of retires are financially wealthy,

18% can retire comfortably,

80% retire needing to continue work, rely mostly on SS.

With regard to startups, 80-90% of them fail within 5 years?

We all know that regardless of any career, business or pursuit, it seems that only 2% really reach the top.

I believe you started your company, to help us beat those odds, or at least become the top 2% in our chosen fields of endeavor.

Thanks for the opporunity to help, be helped and reach our goals.

I`m open to rebuttals or endorsements on these observations.

Only the best,

bmwsmity,

This is a tough one and I`m sure a lot of entrepreneurs know how you`re feeling although we may not want to tell our own stories without anonymity.

My advice would be that you follow your heart bro. I think it`s telling you what you need to do, but that`s not for me to say. All I`ll say is follow your heart on this one.

All the best,
Aleem Khan


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bmwsmity,

My wife had a conversation with burningreen yesterday, or was that today???  Anyway... we would like to provide you with some help.  Please do give us a call or send us an email and we will point you in the correct direction to get your landscape lighting business going.  Also would like to say that a $4,000 lighting job on a $3,000,000 home is way too small.  That size house and landscaping should take no less than $10,000 in lights.  We are currently working with a family that owns an 18,000 sq ft. home on one acre in North Dallas, their pool is bigger than my house and I have a big house!!!  By the time we get done with laying everything out we should have a sale for around $25,000. 

Again please take some time with your wife and give us a call. 

 

bmwsmity

I`ve been following this thread and the advice and feedback is tremendous!  However, I think I might be able to throw one more tid-bit of advice.  Use all of your Entrepreneurial talent to sell the idea to your wife.  Seriously, I`ve probably started 4 ventures before one stuck.  In the meantime, with two young children and very little cash flow coming in, it is only natural that one spouse wants to be practical while the other is a dreamer (in the positive sense).  What you need to do is offer assurance and a heck of a lot of confidence in your idea to your wife.  This also means involving her as best you can while you`re building your business.  Positive attitudes are contagious!  Eventually, you will win her over and she will join your team.  I know it may seem like an insincere approach but if you plan on succeeding, salesmanship will play a big role in your success.

Good luck!
John


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John Goette Mi Ventaja Computer Training Systems

I`m new to startupnation and thought I would weigh in on this thread . . . mostly because, without my husband`s support, I would never have been able to start a business, so I can imagine how hard it is not to have that home-team advantage.

Somone upthread said `you can`t change her, you can only change yourself`, which I think is true of us all.

So, I am going to ask you to please think through what you can do to allay her security fears.  Keep in mind, she has seen one business not work out already, so for someone who is evidence minded, you haven`t given her much to go on.

Can you lay out a business plan with income milestones and meet them, to earn her trust?  If she doesn`t understand a word of what you`re saying about your business, then you`re not explaining it very well (sorry), no business should be that hard to explain.

I have to say, this sentence scared me, and is what poked me to respond  < I think it is because she is definitely on another level thinking-wise and feels I dominate with my intelligence.  >

listen very hard to what she`s saying there . . .

my gosh I`m crazy sometimes.


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JM

Nuevolution,,,,, I weep for you.  Don`t catagorize women - especially because you are not one.  I however can speak for the prettier, better smelling race - for I am woman,,,,,hear me roar!

I`m sure there are some women out there like that, this is true.  Those kind of women are the exception, not the rule in my  opinion.   I am clearly the exact opposite along with every female that I am friends with.  We married our man because we were in love with them (hopefully we did anyway - I know that`s the reason I did).  We had fun with them, they took us out all the time.  Paid for dinners, opened doors for us, complimented us on our outfits.....Good GOD man.  We want our basic needs met - LOVE!  Love love love love love.  I  ain`t talkin about sex either although we don`t mind that either.

You make women sound like money hungry vultures.  The definition you gave sounds like what most men worry about ?  Men typically seem to be the ones caught  up in the responsibility of solving the financial burdens of the family.  And just FYI,,,,the "overspending on JUNK" as you call it.  Well, that`s simply a females way (or even a male`s way) of trying to fill an empty void in her life - she`s trying to make herself feel better because she`s not happy with something.


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JM

Joy, can hardly blame you for saying that, however don`t indict all based on one. This advice is definitely in the minority.

PS: If you have a chance to post some photos on your profile page I`d love to see some of your work.


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