Find us elsewhere
Join Now Member Login

How should I end a letter to a prospective client?

 
New Topic
Post Reply
Follow Topic
Page of 2 Next »
  • Author
  • Message
 
JDawg

posts: 94

Apr 12, 2007 5:04 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote

I am writing a letter (email actually) to a client I really want to do business with. I don`t want to appear desperate and I have this bad habit of typing this out:

I hope to hear from you.

Then I delete it and change to:

I look forward to hearing from you.

Any advice on this? The sentence prior to this is:

Again, I enjoyed meeting you last night and wish you much success!

 

And is that corny, too? I don`t like putting "I`ll call you next week to follow up." when there really is nothing to follow up on. He didn`t ask for a quote or discuss any project. But he did indicate there are times when he would need my services.

 

The purpose of this email is to confirm what I told him last night: that I would enjoy the opportunity to work with him. And I will follow up a month or so from now with another email asking if there is an upcoming opportunity.

 

Am I okay here? Or can I improve on this process? I`ve never really put much thought into selling myself, but my luck of getting clients may run out one day. Thanks in advance for your input.



-------------------------

Make it count! My Passion: www.jdawgdesign.com - My Rush: www.wyliephotos.com
bert

posts: 393

Apr 12, 2007 5:27 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote

All of them sound fine.  If you use the last one you might want to say "yesterday" instead of "last night".  I am not sure any of them make that much difference.  If you want to do business with the person you need to make sure your message contains something they want in it.  You should make sure your email also gives them a reason to take action or at least contact you again.  Be more mysterious than overly anxious.  The sample fact that you are doing a follow-up email will give them the message you are interested and you are on the ball.  That is very good.  Keep it short and simple.  This works for me.



-------------------------

Bert at Harvey Software, Inc.
Multi-Carrier Shipping Software and Supply Chain Solutions for Internet Retailers

Also a provider of free shipping information and resources at Harvey Software`s Parcel Shipping Blog along with free tracking solutions at TrackingPage.com...
CampSteve

posts: 1216

Apr 12, 2007 5:35 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote
I like to write a closing that is more bold with purpose rather than vague about hearing from someone.  Don`t act like the ball is in their court.  Tell them you have the ball.  For example even if it is just a prospective client, I like to say something like:

I look forward to working together on this project and we should talk over some of my ideas.

Or something like that.  It is a call to action that you want to talk without saying "hearing from you".  Act like you already have the job.  It speaks confidence and enthusiasm.  Now this is just my personal approach.  It might turn some people off, I don`t know.  If so, it probably wouldn`t be the best working relationship anyway.

CampSteve2007-4-12 17:37:6
LifeTranscender

posts: 140

Apr 12, 2007 5:46 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote

J,

I like to make a few suggestions.
Phrasing and wordings I`ve learned.

Suggestion: I look forward to building a
strong business relationship. Continue to
make this the best day ever.

I suggest this, becuase it comes across with
confidence, in the first sentence. And then the
next sentence displays a high positive energy
level. People like confident and positive people.

I`m learning from my business coach, to ask
for what it is you desire. And the term "hope"
isn`t firm.

The last one, "wishing you much success" reads
like a farewell.

I hope you`ve found some value in what I`ve
shared.

Won`t Be Denied!
C.F. Jackson

Lighting 1,000 Dreams Worldwide!

keycon

posts: 651

Apr 12, 2007 10:34 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote

The purpose of this email is to confirm what I told him last night: that I would enjoy the opportunity to work with him. And I will follow up a month or so from now with another email asking if there is an upcoming opportunity.

Dawg - There are some good suggestions above and I lean toward the positive suggestions - don`t like using the word "hope" either. I think you answer your own question in the quote section I included.

The PURPOSE of your message. Put this into words. This one email is not going to make or break this relationship. Relationship building is long-term.

I will make a suggestion that I think in this instance has merit. Don`t send an email. If you really want to stand out, send a USPS mailed letter. Your client WILL remember a printed letter from you more so than an email. Do the follow up you mentioned in a printed/mailed letter, too. Experience tells me this works. Try it.

In this day of high-speed, get-it-fast, right-now, 100s of emails inour boxes every day - a mailed letter can stand out from the crowd. Hopefully, you have some nice letterhead stationary and envelopes. Go Big or Go Home.

R@



-------------------------

Richard Arnold · Key Concept Writers · Business Communication: The "Key" To Success· Law of Attraction Blog · Life Ain`t Brain Surgery Blog
JDawg

posts: 94

Apr 13, 2007 12:53 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote

Thank you all for your comments. The feedback is great and exactly what I was looking for. Many of you touched on a factor that I think is so important these days: building a relationship.

 

For me, a hard sell is a challenge. I just don’t like doing it. I don’t like having it pushed on me either. There is a fine art to being pleasantly persistent! But I completely get that one has to be firm and speak with action, as Bret and CampSteve suggest.

 

And I also see importance to have a line that separates you from others and tells a little bit about your personality as LifeTranscender suggest. It’s all about balance!

 

Keycon, your comments really defined my issue. And the letter writing is something I will be using more frequently.

 

Two weeks ago, I meet with a possible associate, someone I can refer clients to for a particular service. A week later, I received in the mail a hand written note from him. This impressed me so much, the next day I bought some nice blank cards. Perhaps later I’ll design some with my logo. But I was very impressed. Thanks for confirming that the written word can mean a lot!



-------------------------

Make it count! My Passion: www.jdawgdesign.com - My Rush: www.wyliephotos.com
Celi

posts: 2

Apr 13, 2007 11:23 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote

Hi everyone!  I am sending my new product to Macys for review.  Should I send my typical press kit with sample?  My press kit features the press release, product brochure with pictures, recent media attention, and thats about it.  Please advise.

nhgnikole

posts: 2660

Apr 13, 2007 4:15 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote
I write:

Cheers,
nikole



OK well before that, I might write:

Please let me know if you have any questions. I believe our company is a good match for your current needs, and I look forward to working with you on it. Together, we can make your dreams come true!

(OK, seriously? That was a little corny but I work with startups. The honest answer is that I don`t write emails like this. At least I haven`t in years. I couldn`t tell you what I do. Maybe I should write it down so I can make a book out of it some day.)

And pssst, JDawg: Always follow up with a nice note.
nhgnikole2007-4-13 16:17:30
JDawg

posts: 94

Apr 13, 2007 5:18 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote
And cheers to you, too, Nikole! :D  Thanks for the input!

-------------------------

Make it count! My Passion: www.jdawgdesign.com - My Rush: www.wyliephotos.com
onthebeach

posts: 168

Apr 15, 2007 11:26 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
Points: 0   Vote

All are great suggestions, Keycon`s idea of sending a letter USPS would be how I would handle it.  I would also send it in a Priority Mail envelope, because the message before the letter is even read would say "you are a priority with me". 

I send personal email thank you`s to all of my customers.  At first I wasn`t sure if I was being pushy (which I don`t like either) but I have found that not only do they appreciate the personalized thank you but (95%) have taken the time to write a nice note back expressing their gratitude. 

Showing confidence and enthusiasm (like CampSteve said) will show the client you know you can do the job. 

I recently had an experience with a manufacturer that I wanted to do business with.  I sent them an email requesting information.  I got an email in return from the customer service rep in my area that said "call me and we can make an appointment to meet".  I made the decision then not to do business with them.  They had my information, I felt that if they wanted my business they would call me.  We all react differently but you want your potential client to know that you want their business, and they are important to you!

Best of luck to you!

onthebeach2007-4-15 11:27:26
Page of 2 Next »
Post Reply
 
.
Advertisement

Keep the Community Clean!

  • StartupNation forums should be used as a platform to learn, educate others, share stories, tips & tricks and to provide constructive feedback.
  • Please do not use the Forums for advertising & blatant self-promotion.
  • Please be respectful to other members and refrain from personal attacks and vulgar language.
  • StartupNation reserves the right to delete any message, reply, and/or member who violates our terms of use.
Read full terms of use
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement