Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

I`m just reading Judith Krantz` series revolving around the store, "Scruples." It`s one of those high-flying epic stories of the ultra rich, high fashion, world travel, and drama.

At the same time, I`m thinking about the never-ending quest for passion and meaning everyone has, particularly in some of the topics here at Startup Nation. How many times do we hear about, read about, see, or even know of people with "everything" who simply aren`t satisfied or even happy?

Out of it all, I`ve been thinking about the concept of "fun." Such a simple term, used almost all the time, and one that pretty much everyone feels requires no definition at all. Everyone "just knows," (somehow) what`s fun, how to have fun, and that it`s different from "work."

But here`s a different question: Can you think of any examples, whether in stories and movies, or in real life, where anyone at all, including yourself, has picked up something that`s really fun....that you NEVER heard of prior to the age of 20?

I`m thinking of all the fun I`ve had with computer software, and personal computers didn`t even exist before I was about 30. Anything else?

Here`s the reason for the question: I`ll argue that our entire concept of "fun" (we`ll leave it undefined for now) is formed between the ages of 1-20 or thereabouts, in our childhood. If we don`t have fun growing up, we`ll likely never have much fun as adults. Y`think?

I would go so far as to say that people who don`t have fun as children grow up with complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Lack of fun as a child is much more than philosophical, it actually creates mental illness. Ages ago when psychiatry was new some famous psychiatrist did a study where he created a school where children had no playtime at all... they worked on schoolwork morning, noon, and night, and after a couple months they started committing suicide, beating each other up, and all kinds of horrible things.

If I remember the doctor`s name who conducted this study I`ll pass it along.

—paula

I think that as adults, we`ve totally failed to understand that "fun" is "work" for a child. It`s the trial-and-error method by which they learn to function in the world.

To that end, anyone looking for their passion or "thing" to do---their business idea---might do well to look back on childhood. What were they good at? What do they remember as being fun?

Those remembered things would highlight skills, talents, and particular areas of interest. What`s interesting to me, though, is that I wonder if we really "discover" completely new things that are fun after we become adults?

I`m thinking no, we don`t. Whatever basic capabilities we have, they show themselves when we`re children. It`s our overall approach to life, the unknown, learning, adapting, and making sense of the world around us.

I saw the same thing when I started working with computers. They came easily, I enjoyed the occult magic of DOS, and couldn`t figure out why. I knew I could play the piano by ear from as far back as I remember, and I also knew that enjoyed defining words and getting meanings.

When I realized that playing a piano, defining language, and understanding software all were the same, that was a major "move ahead" point in my life. A keyboard is a keyboard, after all, and it doesn`t matter if the output is music, words, or drawings.

I liked puzzles when I was a kid. I liked to learn how to cook. I liked taking apart my toys and putting them back together. (I learned from my father that there ALWAYS are "extra" parts that are completely unnecessary---that`s how things are built!) :-)

What about children who do something marvelous without having anyone to say "Oh Wow!" We all know plenty of people who grew up being told that whatever it was they were thinking about doing wouldn`t work. Can anyone overcome that sort of mental prison?

I think fun and success are completely inter-connected. Without a sense of having fun, no amount of money, power, authority or other measure of success means much of anything. We`ve learned that people can be driven---obsessed---for always more success, never feeling satisfied. I think it`s because they`re not having any fun with their success.

This kind of behavior can also sometimes be found amongst learning disabled kids that do not get the appropriate alternative teaching that they need.  The school work becomes such labor for these kids that the deviant behavior surfaces. 

All this again points to the fact that you and Craig have so aptly pointed out, learning to have fun begins as a child and those that do not learn that vital skill will/do suffer greatly in life.  Of course, childhood has an immense impact on who we are and what we do as adults. 

Craig, great point about choosing what you found fun as a child to determine what to do as an adult!

Anita

It works the other way around, too. Anyone can easily ask, "So...what`d you really like to do when you were a kid?"

The answers almost always will provide a direction for people who wonder, "What kind of business can I start? How will I know if I`m passionate about it?"

Basically, "fun" is the entire construction of trial-and-error learning and creation. What we consider to be "work" is the task-by-instruction of learning and production. Note there`s a difference between "creation" and "production."

All of us, I think, can point to the start of school days as the start of work. We might also point to the first "errands" and tasks we had to do as kids, such as cleaning the table, making the bed, picking up toys. These were instructions we received, with little room to maneuver in the trial-and-error.

It`s not often that we tell a child to pick up their toys, and they explore trial-and-error systems for doing so. It`s pretty cut and dried: you pick up the toys and put them somewhere.

I would argue that people who grew up with only instructions and tasks, rarely had the option to simply try-and-see-what-happens on their new ideas. And yet the most natural process of human development is exactly that. What if there weren`t any instructions?

Ah...and that`s where all this links up. When YOU start your OWN business, there aren`t any Instructions. That`s why so many entrepreneurs are actually looking for a job where they may be the boss. They`re not looking to start a business. It gives rise to the business coach field, mentors, and so forth, where the person gets Instructions.

"Fun" is when you get to do whatever it is that comes to mind in order to mess around with, and solve a problem. That means uncontrolled, often undirected messing around. How many children aren`t allowed that sort of freedom from parental domination?

This just reinforces my thought that I have found the perfect business to start. When I was a kid, I liked to make things and sell them. I still do! I love helping people find what they`re looking for (now it`s gifts, back then it was mushrooms, lost dogs, their glasses. . .). It makes me feel good to hear people talk about how much they like my products, and if I made them, that`s even better!

I once took a quiz that asked what one word would you like others use to describe you. I picked fun. (since beautiful and smart were so obvious). Kind and compassionate were up there too, but if you`re fun, people want to be around you and that gives you plenty of time to show them all that other stuff.

Thanks for making me think about this again. I`m finally open for business, and it`s been fun already and only going to be more so (even with a broken air conditioner in 90+ degree weather)!


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Straighten up and Fly Right!