Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

This is SUCH a classic situation, and although many people write about it, I`m not so sure the volume of material takes into account the underlying emotional risks and analyses. It doesn`t seem so, in my opinion.

On the one hand we have the entrepreneurial and individualistic rally, "Follow your dream! Be who you are! Do your own thing!"

On the other hand, we have practical reality, and the mind-numbing, exhausting battle of constant stress, anxiety, and near-zero predictability that comes with starting a new business.

In between, pouring gasoline on the fire, there`s the seemingly constant proclamation in the media and online that people who start their own business quickly become successful, become millionaires, lead the life of luxury, and spend the rest of their time on the beach.

As a philosopher, and having studied an awful lot of material over the years about life and stuff (technical term), I`ve concluded that as simple as it may sound, there`s really only one benchmark. It`s that life *ought to be* fun!

When you strip away all the $100 words, high-falutin` language, complicated history, and theoretical analysis, you`re left with the bottom line: If you`re not having fun doing what you`re doing, then ONLY you should decide what to do next!

One major caveat to this principle is that you also have to live with yourself when you look in the mirror, or can`t sleep at two in the morning. If you`ve really and truly given it your best shot, it isn`t working, and you`re not at all having any kind of fun, then stop! Go do something else! If that`s taking some security for awhile, working for someone else, then there`s nothing intrinsically wrong with that decision.

Sometimes we need a break to re-think an idea, come up with a different idea, or to see if there`s a different way to put an idea into action. Other times, it just isn`t "the right time" in terms of market awareness, market valuation, or historical context.

There`s nothing to say that you can`t come back to what you wanted or intended a bit later in your life. People start businesses in their 20s all the way through into their 80s. But life isn`t supposed to be about nausea, pain, misery, and heartache!

Martin

 

And let`s not forget to add in to the mix the idea that we never know what`s the point of anything, while we`re doing it. But in retrospect, looking back from at least 6 months, we can see a pattern emerge. Oftentimes, what seems trouble, wrong, pointless, or just stressful turns out to be a critical learning time, where we pick up skills and insights that make it possible to take advantage of a future opportunity.

In other words, as the sages have said (and the Parsleys, Rosemary, and the Thyme family), "you may not like where you are at the moment, or think you should be there, but you`re exactly where you`re supposed to be."

Edwho,
It is normal for you to feel that way. I been in business for myself for over 5 years now and I am also a father. May I say that at one point after my 2nd daughter was born, I went and got a job only to find out that "I didn`t want to be a "yes man" anymore and I walked out one Friday and never went back.
I think you are scare of failing.. correct me if I`m wrong. You are dwelling on the past and your weekly check (security).
Along the way Edwho, as a business owner you will find many challenges, many of them are good and other`s are bad. But in the end, it`s those challenges / experiences that teach you how to deal with customers (you establish your policies) and you request that they follow them.

It`s OK to feel bummed out at times... But look deeper inside of you, and if it was meant for you to be a business owner follow your dream... money will follow... we all need to sacrifice something to make it where we want to go.
If starting a busines was easy, there would be no such a thing as workers...
My advise would be to give yourself at least 6 months to see if things get better for you.





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Edgar Monroy
Web Developer / Owner / Consultant
When starting your own business the need to "know-how" is greater than money!
http://www.nuevolution.net

Thank you all for your advice/comments.  All of you have raised valid points and I am carefully considering them all.  There is definitely FEAR or FAILURE.  Im looking at things today and see that I am in a position where I can say "i did a trip - it went well - i CAN do this.....but since Im not having the fun i expected, I can quit without being a failure".  Thats the easy way out......but I dont think its the best way out.  I always said that I would do this "until the wheels fall off", and I think I should really do that.  At least thats where Im leaning today.

Its good to know that its normal (or has at least happened to others) to be unhappy some days when you start out.  I was concerned about my emotional well being because I was pacing around my office talking to myself!!  Im normally a very stable individual, but stepping outside my comfort zone is VERY new to me.  

Please keep the comments coming - It is really helping me to decide what I need to do. 

FYI:  Im currently considering pushing on (as advised by some of you) for a year.  This will give me time to see whether I want to do this.  One year isnt too much to time to sacrifice for my daughters.

Thank you all again for the comments!

eduardo

 

One of the biggest, and perhaps most serious problems facing an entrepreneur is that they`re usually sort of like Major Tom, out there in the void, all alone, feeling as if the tether has snapped and there`s no way back. And yes, it IS common!

Some people have a team or a really excellent support system. Usually that support comes from someone who`s sharing the burden and is directly, personally involved in the business startup. But "usually," most entrepreneurs are alone.

Even if they have a really wonderful spouse or "significant other," it`s because that other person isn`t directly involved in a hands-on way with the business that the entrepreneur still feels alone. I know it was difficult when I`d come to someone with a problem, only to hear, "Well, I have faith in you! You`ll work it out."

Fine, except that didn`t help me work out the problem! :-D

From a psychological perspective, the entrepreneur finds him/herself at a fundamental crossroads of validation. It`s not approval---that`s a one-time thing we usually get as children. Validation is a judgement on the rationality or insanity of the way our mind is working. Technically, it`s an epistemological crisis. Epistemology is basically the question of how you know what you know.

An identity crisis is where you ask, "Who the hell am I, what am I doing here, and what if I`m not as great as I think I am?"

An epistemological crisis is where you ask, "What if everything I think I know is wrong? How would I know? Suppose what I believe is all a delusion? How can I know for sure...be certain that I`m right?"

To resolve this type of crisis we need some sort of validation. We need evidence and proof that our thought process concurs with reality. Ironically, this type of outside consensus is exactly NOT what`s needed in an identity crisis. There, a person must put a boundary around their personal self, and if they can`t, they usually need a professionally objective assistant along the lines of a psychologist.

The successful trip/client demonstrates objective validation that your business idea, business thinking, and business logic are correct. They`re in accordance with reality. On the other hand, it sounds as though the value you`re placing on the "go/no-go" process hasn`t yet been resolved.

In other words, we "can" build an electric car, but if we do, how "valuable" is the result of that process?

Only you can really assign the value to yourself and your family of continuing on with the business. I`m suggesting that at the foundation of all values will first be survival, then health, then enjoyment of life.

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Sincerely,
Harding`s Travel