Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

well i think this is a great idea as long as our sites are told the bad things in a nice way no need to be rude

greg

www.grabaphone.co.uk

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You would like a new mobile phone do not know where to start grabaphone help it’s a free service to you, no costs once we find you a mobile phone deal all we ask is you place the order to the given company through the grabaphone website. If you are happy with the deal you let us know and for the duration of that mobile phone contract we will remind you free of charge to claim back your cashback

What`s the fun in not being rude?

On the home page in the first paragraph of `about`, you open a quote but you never close it.  You end the paragraph with "We are a totally free service and will", then there`s a few blank lines before you resume the copy.

At the end of the page what looks like a visit counter covers the last line of text.


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Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email

I think that you need to look at your copy as an outsider.

For me, you aren`t getting across what your offer is to me in a precise way.

"Don`t spend your entire day researching mobile phone services - let Grab-A-Phone bring the best selections and service to you!"

I don`t even know what
"We check all the major suppliers to get you great phones, and cashback deals so that your contract phone could even work out free!"
means. Is the service free, the phone free, or ?? (Maybe I don`t understand mobile service in the UK? Is it that different than here that this would be confusing to me?)
"Your mobile phone is FREE with our cashback deals."


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That PHP Girl
Small Business Essentials
Latest Post on SUN: New Facebook Pages - First Impressions

I`ll second that.  The only reason that I knew some of the terms was because my daughter was going to France (from the USA) and we wanted her to have a phone. 

I think that there is a need for this kind of service because after a week of searching on the web for anyone with a consistent answer, I just gave up.  The prices for cell service were all over the place, and all absurdly expensive.  Getting the phone and "the card" separately are concepts foreign to Americans.  Here you can just walk into a convenience store and buy a phone with a prepaid amount of time.  They are cheap enough that they are considered disposable.

Steve


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Steve Mann
Internet Videographer
MannMade Digital Video
My Email

Thanks all that have replied i will pass on all comments to my business partner and see what alterations can be done greg

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You would like a new mobile phone do not know where to start grabaphone help it’s a free service to you, no costs once we find you a mobile phone deal all we ask is you place the order to the given company through the grabaphone website. If you are happy with the deal you let us know and for the duration of that mobile phone contract we will remind you free of charge to claim back your cashback