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Getting past fear

 
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VickiJ

posts: 112

Apr 20, 2006 9:46 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Does anyone else tend to procrastinate on their projects because they fear they will fail? Or they fear the unknown? If so, how do you get yourself past those fears?



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VickiJ
www.freshairjournal.com
Lisa

posts: 17

Apr 20, 2006 11:15 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Hey Vicki

I’m a huge procrastinator.  For years I tried to fight it.  After pulling about a billion all-nighters in college I tried force myself to begin a term paper a week in advance, only to end up rewriting it the night before it was due.  I’ve come to realize that I’m just a last minute type of girl—I do my best work when I’m under the gun. 

Right now I’m working on growing the business www.frostingfashions.com.  Every so often we do large scale site updates, always in an effort to make the shopping experience better for our customers.  During these times I find myself reverting back to my old ways.  Rather than methodically working out each step piece by piece over the course of a week, I’ll spend that week, composing language, developing taglines, and graphics all in my head.  Most of these are mentally discarded before, at the 11th hour, I build it all out on the computer. But at that point, it’s all execution.  I know what everything’s going to look like, what it’s going to say—it’s kind of done already. 

What I’m trying say is that you might think you’re not making progress, but you are.  Every day you spend thinking about your dream business, you’re working out all those little question marks in your head—you just need that push put it on paper and make it real. 

Have you tried setting deadlines for yourself?  Unlike me, you don’t have Jeff Sloan to answer to in weekly meetings!  But just telling yourself, my business plan (or whatever) MUST be done by the end of the month or the end of the year, might be the little shove you need to make that definitive step—even if it means an all-nighter on December 31!




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executeksearch

posts: 136

Apr 20, 2006 11:59 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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VickiJ,
I tend to be a procrastinator as well. As for fear of failing or of the unkown, well, those are traits that most people have in some form. The best thing to do to battle these feelings and inborn traits is to surround yourself with people that can guide you through. I think that one of the big goals of this forum is to do just that exact thing. So, your in the right spot. Don`t get discouraged, instead, continue doing what you are doing in here and asking for encouragement. I know that I need alot of encouragement constantly. For instance, if my wife is having a bad day and is somewhat abscent from my concerns, it seems to make me feel discouraged. Of course she is not intentionally discouraging me it just proves to me that I need to be surrounded with as many people as possible that can encourage me and push me to keep on Keepn` on! I hope this help.
Best Wishes!
Degrees

posts: 250

Apr 20, 2006 12:13 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Sure Vicki, This is a normal problem, because there is no Jeff Sloan in my life, I have to report  to myself.
The way I`ve managed it, is to chunk it down into small tasks.  i make a weekly list of tasks to do.

I believe this is the hardest thing I do all week!
 It can take a half an hour some times. This is where I have to face all the unknowns and fears and decide what`s going down this week. Everything on the list is something that is physically possible to do during the week.  Like "get patent" is impossible.  "search patent site for 3 hours" is something that I could write down.

The beauty of the list is that you execute the list, not your business. You don`t have to think about the big picture every 5 minutes. Leave all the doubts for that one half an hour a week.
Got to get back to my  list....
VickiJ

posts: 112

Apr 20, 2006 12:26 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Thanks for all the encouragement. Somewhere inside I know all these things because I`ve read lots of books and listened to lots of tapes and CDs on the subject. I know HOW to do it, but I still put off action. I think it was Tony Robbins that says, "The Universe rewards action."

Somewhere inside I have a conflict going on. If I never take action to complete the project I can`t fail. But if I never complete the project I can`t succeed either. And I know I can succeed if I try. Does that make any sense? NO.

Thanks for all the input. I think encouragement and a group of like-minded people might be the key for me. I feel motivated every time I visit the forum. Thanks!

 



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VickiJ
www.freshairjournal.com
executeksearch

posts: 136

Apr 20, 2006 12:58 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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 If I never take action to complete the project I can`t fail. But if I never complete the project I can`t succeed either. And I know I can succeed if I try. Does that make any sense? NO.


I would say you should look at it a little differently. If you are afraid of failure and that is your "anti-motivation" then you should realize that never taking action, no matter what the outcome is, is a "failure" in itself. Maybe that fear of failure can be a motivator that way instead of an "anti-motivator"!
VickiJ

posts: 112

Apr 20, 2006 1:05 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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I never thought of it that way. That`s excellent! And it`s exactly right. If I never take action I`ve already failed. But if I take action and learn from the outcome, then I can change direction as needed and keep on "succeeding" until I get to the outcome I want. How inspiring!

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VickiJ
www.freshairjournal.com
BardStuff

posts: 69

Apr 20, 2006 1:23 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Vicki,  I can testify that all the motivational materials in the world won`t get your business off the ground.  You have to stop reading about it and do it.  Something.  Anything.  There`s a world of difference between looking up domains on godaddy.com to see which are taken, and actually hitting the "buy this domain" button.   There`s a world of difference between reading posts on SUN saying "Go for it, we know you can do it!" and putting the computer down and going to melt some crayons in your microwave.

Failure is going to happen. No way to deny that.  You just have to approach it from the right direction so that when it does, you roll with it, learn from it, and move on.



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Personal: http://www.morinfamily.com/blog
Geeky: http://duanesbrain.blogspot.com
Shakespeare: http://suchshakespearestuff.blogspot.com
keycon

posts: 651

Apr 20, 2006 10:37 PM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Vicki - I believe you responded to my post days ago on Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich. If I remember correctly, you said you had read this book. If so, go back and re-read the chapter on The Six Ghosts of Fear. I believe it will help you straighten some things out and get over some bumps in the road.

"Before we can master an enemy, we must know its name, its habits, and its place of abode." ~ Napoleon Hill

Your thoughts are the ONE thing over which you have absolute control. Conquer the six ghosts of fear.

R@



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Richard Arnold · Key Concept Writers · Business Communication: The "Key" To Success· Law of Attraction Blog · Life Ain`t Brain Surgery Blog
VickiJ

posts: 112

Apr 21, 2006 10:29 AM ET    Quote  Report Abuse
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Thanks for all the encouragement everyone! I wanted to let you know that everything you said did a WHOLE LOT of good. I got over my temporary mental block and this morning I took another step toward getting my project going. 

Yes, Richard, I have read Think and Grow Rich. It was a long time ago. I think I borrowed it from the library at the time (and a few times since). I`m going to buy a copy. I often need to be reminded. That`s what`s so great about this group!!

 



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VickiJ
www.freshairjournal.com
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