Way better! And having the text is much nicer. The Flash logo works for me, so now it`s all about the content itself.
Here`s the first topic heading (grammatical problems in bold):
About Our Company
Repair provides computer repair and computer service of your home or
office equipment. Located in Carson City Nevada, one of our trained and
qualified technicians will work one on one with you to ensure your complete satisfaction. Which we stand by and guarantee 100%
Then the second:
What We Do
With years of experience working with computers, our technicians have
the knowledge and experience to get the job done. From computers, to
routers, to monitors, and printers we can guarantee that we will get it
set up and running or it costs you nothing.
isn`t all that well done, and could use a copyeditor or proofer.
Examine the edited paragraph below, based on more professional style.
It actually says nothing other than the company is located in Carson
- The "About
our company" is basically saying "what you do." Then there`s an "About
Us" tab, which really is "more" about you. This needs to be
consolidated. There should be an "introduction" like an elevator pitch
on the first page, with biographical info on the "About us" page.
- So there should be "Who we Are" heading 1 on the main page, then the "What we Do" heading 2 below.
Repair, located in Carson City, NV, provides computer repair and computer service for your home or
office equipment. Our technicians will work with you to your complete satisfaction.
the knowledge and experience to get the job done. Whether the problem
is with your computer,
network router, monitor, printer, or any other technology, we guarantee
that we will set it up and get it running, or it costs you nothing.
This actually is
under the "Satisfaction Guarantee" tab, or "Policies." But the two
examples demonstrate the benefit of a good writer or editor for the
site. With the content, the search engines can at least index the site.
However, with the above content, so what? How does this site say
anything other than, "We`re a computer repair place and we claim to
know what we`re doing?"
I`d like to see some generic photos of technical-looking people working
on computers, in offices, or in homes. Better would be actual
employees---some of those "many" trained experts! ;-) I`d also like a
list of real services, maybe categorized by type.
So there could be PCs & Macs, with a list of what you actually will
set up. Do you install the entire machine? Re-install it if there`s a
catastrophic failure? Are you only software or only hardware? What
about backing up systems, installing mirrored drives, RAID, and so
The next category would be "Networking," where you discuss routers,
wireless setups, connection points, and even testing the building for
RF capabilities to determine where to put wireless hardware. How about
setting up several machines to a phone company`s DSL connection? Do you
Another category would be "Cleaning & Repairs," where you put
things like monitors and printers. Does anyone actually repair a
monitor these days? If so, do you repair it there, or ship it out? What
about LCD panels, and what happens when the transformer dies, but the
panel continues working?
I think you have plenty of material for lots of content. If it`s done
well, that content would also pick up your themes and key phrases, so
the SEO writing wouldn`t be so difficult. It comes down to examining
the site for "interest" in the sense of how is this any different from
a plain Yellow Pages ad?